What Happened Next
by Jessi Knight
Summary: The story of what happened after Starfire and Raven teamed up with Jinx, Terra, and Ravager to form the NEW Teen Titans Go! Pairings include: Starfire/Raven, Jinx/Terra, Ravager/Blackfire, Robin/Kid Flash, Cyborg/Beast Boy, Aqualad/Speedy, etc... Have fun reading! (No, seriously, you'll have fun. It's a very funny story, people have said so.)
1. vs The Antiquated Concept of Chivalry!

**Episode 1: New Teen Titans Go vs. The Antiquated Concept of Chivalry!**

* * *

At Titans Tower, a black circle appears in the door to the living room and, like's happened many times before, five teens walk through the portal, coming home from another in a string of heroic missions... but, alas, not all of them are the same five teens we've all become so used to.

"So, we're the Teen Titans now?" Terra asked, looking around in wonder a little at this unexpected development. Then, of course, unexpected developments happened a lot. She'd never expected to get trapped in a trash dimension after all. Who would expect that? She cast Raven a wary look.

"Apparently." Rose remarked in kind of a sarcastic way. Not that there was anything in the word _apparently_ that necessarily called for sarcasm, mind you. It was just her thing.

"Well, I like it." Jinx said. "I think we should redecorate." She put forward, looking around the space with interest.

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Starfire clapped her hands, stooping to pick the Silkie (who'd come over to greet her, and also to beg for food) up in her arms. "Don't you think so, my little bumgorf?" She asked Silkie.

"Sure, why not?" Raven answered, kind of doubting that it would end well, but she thought it would be fun to watch, so she didn't raise any objections.

"Cool." Rose said, going over to lounge on the couch and turn on the TV. "You go ahead and do that."

"Joy!" Starfire said, exuberant.

"So, um, I was actually kind of doubting this would really happen, you know?" Terra spoke up, looking around as though worried.

"I know, right?" Jinx agreed, looking at Starfire and Raven. "It's like, no matter how much fun we have on these _Girls Night Out_ themed shows, somehow, you two always go back to being all boring with those three chivalry losers we tried to rescue, and I always end up back in that jail cell, or, you know, back on H.I.V.E. Island, interchangeably."

"Yeah, what she said." Terra agreed. "By the way, can I, you know, join H.I.V.E. with you or something if this Titan thing doesn't work out?" She asked Jinx. "I've got more experience with the villain thing anyway, so I think I might be a good fit."

"Sure!" Jinx offered.

"Good for you." Rose said.

"Do you always have to speak so much of the sarcasm? Can you not simply smile and be happy like the rest of us...?" Starfire looked to Raven. "Except for Raven."

Raven blushed a little. "I smile sometimes."

"Oh, I know that you do." Starfire agreed, handing the Silkie off to a surprised Jinx and floating over to Raven to kiss her... on the lips.

"Whoa... What's going on here?" Terra asked.

"I think it's kind of sweet." Jinx offered.

"Yeah, but..." Terra looked between the kissing couple and Jinx. "Aren't they only supposed to do that kind of thing off-screen? You know, like Cyborg and Beast Boy do all the time? I don't want our show to get canceled or anything. I get few enough guest spots as it is. I should have been on the team since Teen Titans Season 2, you know. I wanted to be a hero and be all famous and stuff, but could they have an equal number of girls on the team? Nooooo. So unfair."

"I agree." Starfire agreed, once she'd stopped making out with a still blushing Raven.

"Obviously." Raven added.

"Yes, well, we no longer have to worry about such things. We are in the fan fiction space now." Starfire informed them.

"We are?" Jinx asked.

"Duh." Rose supplied from the couch.

"Well... In that case." Jinx gave the Silkie back to a confused but curious Starfire and went over to Terra, smiling to her in a knowing way.

"Uh, Jinx?" Terra asked, nervous, her heart fluttering for some reason.

Jinx took a step forward, boldly giving her a soft, heartfelt kiss.

Terra's eyes widened a moment, but then she relaxed and closed her eyes, moving into the kiss.

"Oh, this is so romantic, don't you think so girlfriend Raven?" Starfire asked.

Rose sat up. "Wait, if we're pairing up, does this mean I'm the fifth wheel now? That... can not happen. I in no way want to be Robin in this scenario."

"Ha." Raven said. "Robin Rose. Tragic."

"Don't be mean. That's my job." Rose narrowed her eyes. "You're supposed to be _nean_ , remember?"

"I'm sorry. I know it's got to suck not to have a girlfriend." Raven apologized.

"In fact, it does not suck the face, and that is the problem that friend Rose is having the difficulties with." Starfire pointed out helpfully.

Jinx and Terra finally stopped doing that (sucking the face, that was). "...Wow." Terra said, heart beating fast.

"So, wanna be my girlfriend?" Jinx asked, smugly confident that she wouldn't be shot down.

"...Totally." Terra agreed.

Rose slumped forward, chin in her hands. "This bites."

"Yeah, you don't get to do that without a girlfriend either. We totally need to set you up with someone." Raven pointed out, trying to live up to the nean thing. It wasn't always easy, what with her angst-filled past and all.

"Who though? Batgirl? Bumblebee?" Jinx asked.

"I think I heard on Twitter that they're already a couple now." Terra offered.

"You Twitter?" Raven asked.

"Well, yeah. I do have hidden dimensions as a character, you know?" Terra defended.

"I do now." Raven offered. Wait, was that nean, or just mean? "You and Jinx do make a cute couple though." She tried to salvage things.

"Thanks!" Jinx did this happy twirl in a circle thing, throwing confetti into the air and kissing her new girlfriend on the cheek at the end.

Terra quirked a happy smile. "I think I'm going to really like this fan fiction thing."

"I know, right?" Raven agreed, privately hoping she could get Jinx to move on from the confetti thing soon... at least indoors.

"Easy for you to say." Rose said, sullen.

"Do not despair, friend Rose. I have... the idea." Star handed the Silkie over to Raven, taking out the interstellar cell phone that she conveniently had now apparently.

Raven took the pet reluctantly, using her shadowy magic powers to levitate Silkie into the kitchen and open up some pet food. After what happened that one time when Starfire was Starliar, she'd taken to always insuring Silkie had food.

"Who are you calling?" Terra asked, curious.

Star held up one finger. "Shh. The phone is doing the ringing."

"Star? Is that you, little sister?" Blackfire answered.

"It is!" Starfire replied, happy that her sister had picked up. Sometimes she would be in _the mood_ , and not answer when she called her. It was most annoying at times. She often felt cheated, in fact, because she did not have an older sister that would give her more of the hugs.

"Right, so... how's it going?" Blackfire asked, a large building (that happened to be a jail) exploding in the background.

"Was that an exploding thing that I just heard, sister?" Starfire asked.

"She's setting me up with her sister?" Rose asked Raven.

"Apparently so." Raven answered.

"...Is she hot?" Rose asked.

"Please." Raven gave her a look. As though she was stupid enough to answer a question like that. She might not be the best at the whole _being in a relationship_ thing... Actually, she was terrible at it sometimes, and just lucky Star was so cheerful and forgiving, but even _she_ knew that it was a bad idea to say that Blackfire was, in fact, hot when her girlfriend could hear it.

"She totally is." Jinx supplied. "Definitely your type too. Total bad girl."

"Oh, okay. That's cool then, I guess." Rose tried to play it off.

"It might have been." Blackfire admitted lightly (re: the now exploded jail). "I... might just so happen to be in the vicinity of a jail break at the moment."

"You were in the jail again? Sister! I keep telling you, you must give up this life of crime that you lead." Starfire scolded her.

"You think so, huh? What, you want me to join that bunch of losers you hang out with again? Because that always works out so great for you?" She scoffed.

"That! Is the your fault! If you would only try with the sincerity in your heart..." Starfire replied.

"Well... I can see it matters a lot to you." Blackfire admitted, again marveling at her little sister's sheer gullibility. _She makes it way too easy sometimes,_ she thought. "Maybe I could give it one more try?" Blackfire ventured. She could actually use someplace to lay low for a while, she considered. And it was always fun to mess with her little sister for a while. It kept life from getting too boring.

"Joy!" Starfire replied. "And you will like it here this time, even more I think."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?" Blackfire asked, not really paying attention anymore, instead keeping an eye out for space cops. They were getting uncomfortably close to her hiding spot...

"The boys on the Titans team have finally done something so stupid that is called the chivalry that Raven and I have been forced to kick them to the curb. We now have three new members of the female variety. Their names are Terra, Jinx, and Rose, who is also called the Ravager. That is actually why I have called. I wish to set you and Rose up on the blind date. I think that you would both enjoy much kissing time together."

"A team of girls, huh?" Blackfire considered it. It was better than those other three annoying boys Star always seemed to keep around as mascots or something. And it _had_ been a while since she'd been out on a date. Maybe she could work with this after all? "So, this Rose girl... Is she hot?"

"Assuredly." Star said, giving a worried look Raven's way. "But in no way is she superior to Raven, in my opinion, of the course." She qualified.

"Ha." Raven said. She was totally a better girlfriend right now. How often did that happen?

"Blackfire of Tamaran—come out with your hands up! This is the Green Lantern Corps!" A voice called to Blackfire.

"Right, um, so, the blind date thing sounds really great, sis. I... don't suppose you could convince your girlfriend to give me a lift to Earth? You know, for the date? As in, right now?" Blackfire asked hopefully.

"Of course!" Starfire agreed easily. "Girlfriend Raven? Could you please help my sister evade interstellar law enforcement so that our new teammate, Rose, can have someone to suck the face with?"

"Yeah, okay." Raven agreed. Because, really, why not? She snapped her fingers and another portal circle appeared in the ceiling above where Rose was standing. "Heads up, eyepatch girl."

Rose looked up and caught a falling Backfire in her arms. "Whoa." Rose said as the girl's weight settled in her arms. "Hi there."

"Hi." Blackfire greeted seductively, wrapping her arms around the other girl's neck. "You're _Ravager_ , I hope?" She asked, her heart fluttering in her chest. _Damn_ , her little sister really had gotten _way_ better taste in friends all the sudden, hadn't she?

Rose smirked a bit. "That's what they call me."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Blackfire said, almost purring as she moved in and kissed the girl.

Rose felt her mind go blank, not one sarcastic thought remaining. All she could think was, _damn Starfire has a hot older sister. Why did no one tell me this before?_

"Mmmm... You're a very talented kisser, aren't you?" Blackfire said, actually feeling almost as though she might swoon. "For the record? You can ravage me _anytime_."

"So you will be staying? Joining us on our New Teen Titans team?" Starfire asked hopefully, floating over next to them.

"Little sister, any team with this girl on it is one I _need_ to be on. Good job recruiting by the way." She offered her sister a rare completely sincere complement, never taking her eyes of Rose as she said this.

Starfire clapped. "Oh, this is the happiest of days!" She said, dancing about in the air.

"Yeah, I kind of have to agree about that." Raven said, watching on as Rose and Blackfire started to kiss again. She looked and saw that Jinx and Terra had started kissing again too. "Huh. You know, I kind of wonder what ended up happening with the boys though."

"Shh. We aren't taking about such things now." Starfire chided, putting a finger to Raven's lips.

"No, huh?" Raven asked.

"Definitely the not." Starfire told her, moving in to kiss her again.

Raven let her hood fall back and lost herself in the kissing.

This new team was a _definite_ improvement, she had to admit.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Jump City, still captured in the Brain's diabolical prison cell, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Robin still languish in their unfortunate captivity.

"There has—to—be—a—way out of this cell!" Robin yelled as he bashed his head against the cell's force field, hoping the stinging sensation that happened every time he did so would kickstart his brain or something.

By this point, Cyborg and Beast Boy were just watching on in silent incredulity. "Um, Beast Boy, good buddy, good pal, I dare say I think this whole _chivalry_ thing may just have run its course. Wouldn't you say?"

"Indubitably." Beast Boy agreed, he and Cyborg changing out of their renaissance themed pantaloons and such back to their standard Teen Titans Go! wardrobe. "Dude. I think these tights was making me talk all fancy, yo."

"Yeah, glad that's over." Cyborg agreed.

"So, you think it's time we make the call?" Beast Boy asked.

"You mean..." Cyborg gasped. "The _forbidden_ call?"

Beast Boy looked back over at Robin, who was now doing an interpretive dance to act out his frustrations in hopes of freeing up his creative energies. "Um, yeah... I'm thinkin' it's actually way past time, brah."

Cyborg pursed his lips. "Yes, I see your point, platonic fellow male whom I play video games and tell amusing jokes with."

"Cy, give it up. We're in a fanfic now. We can totally tell people we're dating and stuff. It's kind of the point, you know?" Beast Boy explained the deal.

"A fanfic you say? What a pleasant development." Cyborg said, telescoping his arm out and grabbing Beast Boy, sweeping him off his feet and leaning in for a long bromantic kiss.

"Aw yeah, baby." Beast Boy said as their lips met.

Robin looked over and noticed them then. "Will you two cut that out already! Cartoons are _no place_ for LGBT—we've talked about this!"

Cyborg put Beast Boy down in a deliberate fashion. "I did _not_ just hear you say that. You need to check yourself before you wreak yourself." Cyborg said, being sassy. (He enjoyed doing that, yes he did.)

"Besides, this is a fanfic, yo." Beast Boy added.

"Oh... That explains why we haven't faded out for reality to be reset for the next episode yet." Robin said, wiping sweat from his brow. "I was getting worried there for a few minutes." Longer than a few minutes, actually, but no sense telling his followers that. Otherwise they might sense weakness and overthrow his reign as leader of the Titans—and that could _not_ be allowed to happen.

"Yeah, and you know what that means we gotta do." Beast Boy told him.

"Wait, no... You can't mean..." Robyn took a step back in fear. " _Him_...?"

"Afraid so, bro." Cyborg told him.

"NOOOOOO!" Robin yelled, falling to his knees in despair.

"Dude. Suck it up. I'm making the call." Cyborg told him.

"Wait, no, I can still _fix_ this!" Robin protested, jumping up and making a grab for Cyborg who'd turned his right arm into a cell phone.

"No can do, bro. You've had your chance." Beast Boy told him, turning into an octopus and phone blocking him where he was at.

"No, wait, you can't do this! Inappropriate touching! _In—a—ppropriate touching!_ " Robin protested.

"Hello, yeah, this is Cyborg." Cyborg said when his call was answered. "Yeah, we could use a rescue from a dashing super hero... who's better in every way than Robin."

"Say no more. You had me at _dashing_." Kid Flash said from the other side of the prison shield, having zoomed there at super speed in the blink of an eye.

The three captives then watched on in amazement as the dashing Kid Flash ran through every potential combination of the code that could open the prison door in the time it would take a normal boy to dial a phone. "There. Easy-peasy." Kid Flash said. "Next time, you really should call someone competent to go with you if you're going to take on a top-tier villain like the Brain without Raven and Starfire here to make sure you don't screw up this bad." He said, patting Robin on his head and then making his exit.

" _Why_..." Robin sniveled pathetically, sinking to his knees and crying softly to himself. "My fragile ego can't take much more of these abuses, I'll have you know." He hissed to Cyborg and Beast Boy then, feeling hurt and betrayed.

"Yeah, yeah. It's been a long day, bros. Let's just go home, get some pizza, and watch sock puppets on TV for a while. We can totally even make out at the _bromantic_ parts now if we want to." Beast Boy suggested suggestively to Cyborg.

"Yeah... I'd be down for that. Let's go." Cyborg said.

Robin watched as they left. " _Bromantic_ doesn't even make sense the way they're saying it. It's _supposed_ to be a substitute term for when two bros act all lovey-dovey without actually _doing_ anything about it." He grumbled to himself, following along after them.

So it was that, using Cyborg's Titans car, the three beleaguered and now formerly chivalrous heroes made their way back home, expecting a hero's welcome, and succor for their tired bones. Alas, this was not to be.

" _No... boys... allowed_." Robyn read what was painted on the door to the tower.

"Oh, come on, momma! Let us in already! It's our place too!" Beast Boy shouted out in protest.

"Yeah... Not anymore." Raven told him, popping her head out through one of her portals. "Here's all your stuff though." And, predictably, another portal opened up above the three, now former, Teen Titans' heads, dropping all of their stuff on top of them, crushing them under the weight of harsh rejection.

"Maybe you can try applying for residence with the H.I.V.E. now that we have rejected you?" Starfire added, popping her head out next to Raven's.

"What? Come on. We can't be villains. We're the Teen Titans, yo!" Cyborg said, only his head and shoulders visible under the pile of stuff on top of them.

"Yeah... Not anymore, you're not. Besides. Bad guys are always guys. That's why they're called _bad guys_. The bad girls are always way more sympathetic. Except for Blackfire. Anyway, yeah, you'll fit right in." Raven told them. "Now, um, go get lost or something. We're busy redecorating." She told them, taking Starfire by the hand and disappearing back inside.

"So harsh!" Beast Boy complained. "I thought she was supposed to be all... _nean_ or something."

"Yeah, I think we might have crossed the line with her on the whole _chivalry_ thing. It's definitely not very politically correct nowadays." Cyborg told them.

"Yeah, whatevs. What I wanna know is what are we gonna do now, yo?" Beast Boy asked.

"Go join the H.I.V.E. I guess." Robin admitted, dejected. It was either that, or try to form a garage band, and he wasn't quite _that_ desperate... not yet anyway. Looking on the bright side, he was positive he could stage a coup and take over as leader from Gizmo. The guy was tiny after all. How hard could it be? He sighed, looking back at Titans Tower forlornly, realizing he'd have to give up on ever getting that kiss from Starfire now... That was the worst part of all this.

"Dude. You know you never had a chance with her, right? Even the writers of _Teen Titans Go!_ saw that. They shipped her with Aquaman and a pot of chilly before they went there with you. Take the hint already." Cyborg told him, re: Robin's unfortunate one-sided crush on Starfire.

"Yeah... I know. Besides, Raven/Starfire was kind of a no-brainer all along, I just thought I might get lucky and they'd give me a pass for being a white male from a privileged family who's got lots of money and all. I guess I really am just a loser after all, aren't I? Kid Flash was right about me. Guess I better just go... be a villain now." Robin lamented.

"Well, he's certainly got the angsty bitter origin story for it now." Cyborg observed

"No doubt. No doubt. Does this mean we're his evil hench-bros now?" Beast Boy asked.

"Dude. Why are you using the word _bro_ so much in this fanfic?" Robin asked.

"Because it's totally _bromantic_ , of course." Beast Boy told him.

"Duh." Cyborg added.

Robyn sighed. "Isn't it about time you both used your superpowers to get all this stuff off us and packed into the Titans car?"

"Yeah, probably a good idea." Cyborg admitted.

* * *

 **Next Episode: "New Teen Titans Go vs. The Flying Chandelier of Doom!"**

In which the New Teen Titans battle Doctor Light and his, well, you know, Flying Chandelier of Doom!  
And ALSO in which Robin gets a makeover, becomes Nightwing, and Kid Flash asks him out on a date!

Follow this story and make sure you get the update!

Also: So, what did you think? Did you laugh? Do you want more episodes? Tell me!


	2. vs The Flying Chandelier of Doom!

**Episode 2: New Teen Titans Go vs. The Flying Chandelier of Doom!**

* * *

"So, I'd like to welcome you all to the first official meeting of the New Teen Titans." Raven said, sitting at their newly installed conference table, in their newly installed situation room. "First, I'd like to thank Blackfire for tricking this place out so we actually look like a legitimate crime-fighting team. Thank you Blackfire."

"Psst." Terra nudged Blackfire with her elbow. "She's talking about you."

"Huh?" Blackfire looked around. "Oh, right. Yeah. Go me. Whatever." She said, going back to gazing at Rose lustily. She'd _actually_ paid a transdimensional construction crew to do it, using stuffed animals (surprising valuable in some dimensions) that she'd pilfered from Starfire's room, but it still counted, right? "Can we just get this over with so I can start making out with my girlfriend again?"

"Um, yeah. Seconded." Rose said, feeling like she could really go for that.

"I think we'd all like to be making out with our girlfriends and watching a date movie right about now, but if we're going to make a serious go at this whole _being superheroes_ thing, we've got to go on a crazy adventure or two, and fight some villains right away. Otherwise the readers are going to get bored and whoever's writing this fan fiction we're in will quit, and start writing something else and we'll be back to not getting any on camera and hiding in the closet all the time because people just aren't ready for this kind of diversity in a cartoon show." Raven told them.

"So, do you think that fanfics like this might raise people's awareness levels? Maybe get at least two of us a chance for a real main-stream romance storyline?" Jinx asked hopefully.

"Yeah, like _that's_ going to happen." Rose said.

"It might." Terra told them. "I mean, everyone's already pretty much secretly gay, right? Most of them just pretend not to be because they're scared of the _lurv_."

"Yeah, she's right." Jinx agreed, supporting her girlfriend. "Think about it. It just doesn't make sense otherwise. If people are in denial about that, then they're just purposefully deluding themselves. Is it natural for a boy and a girl to be a couple when every time they do the deed, the girl gets pregnant? I mean, yeah, there's birth control, but that's not exactly natural, is it? If we went the supposedly _natural_ route, then we'd overpopulate the planet so fast it's not even funny. We're _supposed_ to be lesbians, and all the boys are _supposed_ to be doing the boy-love thing. It's _so_ obvious."

"Um, don't you mean the boys are supposed to be _bromantic_?" Terra put forward.

"Yeah. That's kind of the running quip that this story's got going for that storyline. We should be consistent." Rose offered.

Blackfire sighed dreamily. "Say something else? I love the way your lips move when you talk, lover." She said.

"Um, huh? We... aren't exactly lovers yet, you know?" Rose told her in a hushed voice.

"Oh, playing hard to get, huh? That is so hot." Blackfire told her seductively.

Rose actually blushed. "Um, thanks." She tried to play it off.

"Any time... lover." Blackfire told her, licking her lips.

"I had no idea my elder sister was such a vixen." Starfire observed. "I like seeing this side of her." She smiled. "And also, if she _is_ the Vixen, I wonder if she can imitate the kittens like the one on the Justice League can? Can you do the purring if I were to scratch your chin-chin just so?"

"Yeah, whatever." Blackfire said, not really having been paying attention, her gaze still locked on Rose.

"In any case." Raven went on. "I don't think we can really count on the average human being to wake up and see things logically any time soon. Not in our generation, at least. So, like I said, we've got to buckle down and be superheroes."

Jinx raised her hand.

"Yes, Jinx? You have the floor." Raven told her.

"Um, yeah... I'm not sure I'm okay with going after the H.I.V.E., if that's where this is going. I mean, my brother's over there, you know?" Jinx put forward, looking around and hoping this wouldn't be a problem.

"You have the brother? Is he the short bald one with the funny metal arms like the spider?" Starfire asked, imitating the spider's legs with her fingers to illustrate what she meant.

"No! Jeez!" Terra stood up. "You've been the H.I.V.E.'s enemy for how many seasons now, you've had _four_ _Girls Night Out_ s with her, and you _still_ don't know that Mammoth is her brother? Talk about _insensitive_." Seriously, it was this kind of thing that got people banished to trash dimensions.

"I... apologize, friend Jinx. Friend Terra is right. I should have made more of the effort to know of your family status." Starfire admitted.

"It's alright, apology accepted." Jinx offered magnanimously, giving Terra a grateful look before looking back to Starfire. "But, anyway, just like you wouldn't want to fight your sister, I don't want to have to fight my brother either." She told them, in heartfelt plea.

Blackfire giggled. " _Us_ , not want to fight? _Oh_ , you really don't know us very well, do you?"

"Um..." Jinx was confused.

"They sort of fight... a lot. It's completely _her_ fault though." Raven said, accusing Blackfire.

"What can I say? Raven does have a point. It's how I show her that I _lurv_ her." Blackfire told her.

"It is? Truly?" Starfire asked, getting her hopes up.

"Um, yeah. Sure. Let's go with that for now." Blackfire said. "So, you said we've got to go pound some Earth villain into flaming space debris so I can keep dating my girlfriend? Who's the unlucky dead guy?"

"Do we not simply need to await the next crime alert?" Starfire asked. "They are often very conveniently timed."

"Well, we could, but I was thinking we could try being a little more proactive-"

 ** _CRIME ALERT! CRIME ALERT! CRIME ALERT!_**

The notifications popped up on the monitors all around them.

"Um, _yeah_ , never mind." Raven gave in to the inevitable. "Let's find out who the unlucky victim of Blackfire's violent lovesick tendencies is today." She went and pressed a button and a live TV broadcast came up, showing them a flying chandelier of death menacing Jump City from above. "So... Doctor Light then?" Raven asked, because the guy looked super tiny on top of that huge thing, but it was still pretty obvious who it had to be.

"Yes. I have learned from my time as _The Jeff_ , that the Doctor Light does indeed enjoy making the chandeliers of death in his spare time. He can be very sneaky when he is engaging in the hobbies." Starfire told them gravely (or, you know, as gravely as she was capable of ever sounding). "We must be vigilant, if we are to stop this fiend's fiendish plans once again."

"Right. Vigilant." Rose said.

"Guy sounds like an idiot." Blackfire said. "Can we just go trash his face already? This is already starting to get boring."

"Seconded." Rose said.

"You're always going to second everything Backfire says from now on, aren't you?" Raven asked.

"Pretty much, yeah. Got a problem with that, demon girl?" Rose asked.

Blackfire went over to Rose and pulled her by the arm close to her. "See? Who's got the better girlfriend now?" She told Starfire, sticking her tongue out at her.

" _Ohhhh!_ The _raspberry!_ You _know_ I hate the raspberry! I like the _strawberries!_ With the _chocolate!_ It is the Earth _tradition!_ " Starfire argued.

"Yeah, yeah. Tell it to my butt." Blackfire told her.

"I will! I _will_ tell it to the butt!" Starfire said, her eyes and fist flashing with green energy.

"Whhoooaa there, girlfriend, lets save it for the chandelier monkey, okay?" Raven placated, drawing Starfire back to her by the arm, trying to avoid a sister-on-sister fight scene, even though she knew that some of the readership might like to see that happen. There was always the next episode for that kind of thing though, if they got desperate for something to do to move the plotline forward.

" _Fine!_ But I _do_ have the better girlfriend!" Starfire challenged.

"Oh, yeah?" Blackfire leered, taunting. "Wanna make a bet on that if you're so confident?"

"Yes! I _do_ want to make the bet! But... what shell we bet? And what shall be the stakes that will be at stake in the bet?" Starfire asked, feeling tongue-tied.

"We'll bet on which of our girlfriends beats this Light loser in the end. When my girlfriend beats your girlfriend, then you have to do whatever I tell you... for the next week." Blackfire told her triumphantly. "Unless you're _afraid_ Raven will lose, of course?"

"She will not lose! And _when_ she does not lose, then _you_ will be the one to be doing whatever I say for the week!" Starfire accepted her sister's challenge.

"Then, little sister, it is _on_." Blackfire smiled smugly, as though she'd already won. Because she would win. She'd make sure of that.

"Fine! If you want it on, then it is the _on_!" Starfire told her, turning her back on her sister.

"Um, I hate to interrupt, but... you know, if we're supposed to be the heroes of this story, shouldn't we, you know, be out there doing the hero thing? The chandelier guy is, well, wreaking havoc on the city and everything?" Jinx reminded them, hoping it would be well received.

Terra raised her hand. "Seconded."

Jinx giggled. "You're funny." She told her, kissing Terra on the cheek affectionately. "And _really_ cute."

"Yeah?" Terra asked.

Raven sighed. "Jinx is right. So, um, I guess:" She opened a portal. "New Teen Titans? _Go!_ "

"You said that very well, Raven." Starfire told her, kissing her on the cheek as Jinx had done for Terra moments before.

Raven blushed.

"You make a good leader." Jinx told her as she passed. "I'm glad I voted for you."

"There was no one else to vote for. No one else wanted to do it." Rose remarked as she passed too.

"Hey, lay off my girlfriend, eyepatch girl." Terra said.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that." Rose said, walking through the portal.

Blackfire followed next, slapping Starfire on the butt as she went by.

" _Hey!_ " Starfire protested, shooting off after her sister, eyes glowing.

They heard Blackfire laughing from the other side.

Raven looked at Terra. "Going?" Raven asked.

"Yeah... about that. Could you, I don't know, maybe promise _not_ to send me anywhere weird or trash like through one of these things, like, ever again?" She asked, eying the portal.

Raven smirked. "As long as you don't do anything to really deserve it, sure." She told her, turning and going through the portal.

Terra sighed. "Why do I not have the best feeling about this?" She asked Silkie, who was laying curled up in a ball on the table in front of where Starfire had been sitting.

She got no reply, so resigned herself to following along.

When Terra got there, she saw Starfire and Blackfire up in the air, using their starbolts and blackbolts to wreck the huge flying chandelier thing. Jinx was standing there next to her, and Raven was floating there next to them. "You two are damage control. Protect Jump City's citizenry while the rest of us take Light down, and be ready to step in if it looks like we could use the help." Raven ordered, flying off to join the fight. Rose was already on top of the chandelier, fighting with Doctor Light, deflecting his laser blasts with the reflective flat edges of her swords and trying to get close to him so she could win the bet for her girlfriend.

"So, who do you think's going to win the bet?" Jinx asked. "Rose, or Raven?"

"I don't know. Let's just go, you know, help people and stuff." Terra offered.

"Yeah, okay." Jinx agreed, kissing her girlfriend on the lips briefly.

Terra blushed a little, but dutifully pulled some rock up from the ground in a nearby alleyway to take her and Jinx down to the street.

Up in the sky, Raven headed towards the battle between Rose and Doctor Light. She wasn't really all that happy about the bet, but she definitely didn't want Blackfire to win. That... would be bad.

There were three smaller chandelier drone ships flying about (there had been four, one was already destroyed), but Starfire and her evil (okay, supposedly now _formerly_ evil) sister were keeping them busy.

Raven got all scary with the black claws and glowing red eyes and shot a blast of dark magic at Doctor Light. He raised a light shield, but fell on his butt when her blast hit him, happily making Rose miss when she'd been about to kick him in the face. Raven laughed to herself a little at that. Oh, she was _so_ going to win this.

As Doctor Light was getting up, Raven was about to punch him into the ground with a big magic fist. One of the chandelier drones blew up right next to her though, blasting her away from the fight. Her magic protected her, of course, but she needed a few moments to get her bearings and head back.

"Oops, sorry about that." Blackfire chuckled.

" _Definitely_ still evil." Raven muttered to herself.

She was almost back to the fight when she saw Rose use one of her swords to cut off Doctor Light's head. Raven stopped where she was as a beam of light shot up like a geyser from the beheaded villain's neck. She watched as Doctor Light started to fade away and then wink out, _gone_.

"Ha! I knew I'd win! _Looser!_ " Blackfire taunted her sister, flying down to swoop Rose up in her arms, carrying her up and kissing her passionately. "You are the best, hottest girlfriend ever, and you are so getting lucky tonight." She told her between kissing.

Below them, the chandeliers started to fall out of the sky. Raven turned to help Jinx and Terra stop them from causing too much damage as they crashed.

"It'll be okay, Star." Raven told her girlfriend, once the crisis was over minutes later.

"It does not seem like it will at the moment, girlfriend Raven." Starfire looked at her. "The bet has proven that you are not the best girlfriend after all, but I still believe... that you _are_ the best one."

Raven blushed.

"That's so sweet." Jinx said.

"Thanks, Star." Raven said.

Starfire sighed. "But now I am the slave to my older sister for the week. I fear that I am... the doomed."

"Probably." Terra agreed, levitating down on a rock to join them, just getting back from sealing off a leaking water hydrant.

"Wait though, we're the heroes now, right?" Jinx asked. "So, we're not supposed to kill the bad guys, or am I wrong about that?" She looked to Rose in question.

Rose shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I fight with swords, you know? What did you think I used them for? Cutlery? I am not a chef." She told her.

"She does have a point." Terra said.

" _Point_." Jinx giggled. "There you go, being funny and cute again." She said, stepping behind her girlfriend and wrapping her arms around her waist from behind, kissing her neck.

"It is true." Starfire said. "You _should_ refrain from the beheadings from now on, if you are to live up to the superhero standards." She explained.

"Yeah, okay. I can see that." Rose admitted. "But it's still okay if I maim them and sever a few limbs sometimes, right?" She asked hopefully.

"I don't see why that would be an issue." Starfire told her.

"Cool." Rose replied.

"And anyway, it doesn't really matter that much in the here and now." Raven said. "It's not like he's actually dead or anything. He's _Doctor Light_. You know, as in _made of?_ All Rose did was disperse him. He'll... _wait_." Raven got an idea and she smiled a wicked smile, spreading her arms and chanting, forming a magical summoning circle in front of her. " _Azarath Metrion Zinthos!_ " She commanded, using her magic words.

A whaling ghost of light started to form inside the circle, gaining more and more physicality as the moments went by. "What... happened?" Doctor Light finally asked, bewildered, sitting up on his knees and looking piteous.

"You lost... chandelier monkey." Raven summoned a magical book and used it to zap him and turn him into a monkey in a cage. " _There_." She said, smug, sending the magic book back where she'd summoned it from, brushing her hands together in dramatic fashion, and looking at Blackfire. "Looks like _my_ girlfriend wins the bet after all. The monkey says so."

Blackfire growled. "That's not fair!" She whined.

"All is fair in the love and the war, sister." Starfire corrected, very satisfied. She went over and hugged Raven to her. "Best girlfriend ever." She cooed, lavishing her with kisses.

Blackfire sighed. "This sucks."

"Get used to it. Raven _always_ wins. It's really annoying sometimes." Terra explained. Especially when she does it by sending you to a garbage dimension, she added to herself, still not over it.

"So... am I not getting lucky tonight then?" Rose asked what, to her, was obviously the most important question.

Blackfire sighed again. "Only if my sister lets me, I guess." She admitted, feeling depressed about it all. "You... will let me have my way with my girlfriend, right?" She asked Starfire, pleading.

"...Only if you say the please." Starfire said. " _And_ if you give me the hugs." She added. "And also give Silkie the hugs. _And_ apologize to Raven for trying to do the cheating. And also make me breakfast in the morning, like mother used to make us." She told her.

"Is that all?" Blackfire asked, cringing inside.

" _No_. When we get home, we will also have the girl talk, like proper sisters should." Starfire told her.

Blackfire groaned. "So not fair."

"Fair or not, you have lost the bet, and you owe me the hugs." Starfire told her firmly, having no mercy.

"Fine." Blackfire gave in, going over to give her sister the hugs she wanted.

"I don't know which one of them is more terrifying." Rose told Raven.

Raven giggled. "Good question."

* * *

Meanwhile, out on the bay of Jump City, across from Titans Tower, Robin knocked on the front door of H.I.V.E.'s island fortress. Automated weapons appeared from all around them. "What do _you_ losers want?" Gizmo's voice came over the intercom. "And why shouldn't I blast you to smithereens, exactly?"

Robin sighed. "We're here because we're... looking for jobs."

"...Wait, what did you just say?" Gizmo asked.

"Dude, Starfire and Raven fired us from the Teen Titans and kicked us out of the tower." Cyborg explained.

"Yeah, they hired a bunch of chicks to replace us." Beast Boy added.

"Jinx included." Robin told him.

"Wait..." Gizmo said, opening the door to reveal him floating there, backed by Mammoth, See-More, and Billy-Numerous. "Jinx joined the Teen Titans?" He asked.

"Afraid so. Terra and Rose Wilson too." Robin informed them gravely.

"Ravager?" Gizmo asked. " _Damn_ , she's bad news. I totally get why they'd chose her over you three dorks."

"She cuts off people's heads sometimes." Billy-Numerous said. "She did it to me twice once. It was traumatic." He lamented, shivering at the memory of when Rose beheaded two of his copy selves and stabbed a bunch more of them in various unpleasant places.

"She's hard core alright." Gizmo acknowledged.

"My sister abandoned us?" Mammoth said, looking as though he might cry.

"There, there big buy." Gizmo comforted, levitating up and patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure she still cares."

"Dudes, you don't have to put on an act, we're totally in the fan fiction zone now." Cyborg told them.

"We are?" Gizmo asked. "Well, that's a relief. Come here, big fella." Gizmo said, giving Mammoth a sweet, lingering kiss.

"Wait... Those two?" Robin asked, baffled.

"Totally." Beast Boy confirmed. "Don't judge, dude."

"I'm... not." Robin said. "It's only, I mean he's so... big, and Gizmo's so... not."

" _Hey!_ Is that a short joke?" Gizmo asked, offended. "You know I can still have all these guns fry you right?"

"Yeah, sorry about him. He's still all gutted because Kid Flash stomped on his fragile ego again." Cyborg explained.

"Oh. Well, that's okay then, I guess. That guy's a real jerk wad." Gizmo said.

"Totally." See-More agreed.

"He told me I looked fat once." Billy-Numerous confided.

"You aren't though. You're beautiful, Billy." See-More said.

"You think so?" Billy asked.

"Here, let me show you how I feel about it." See-More said, going over and soundly kissing him.

"Oh, I get it now." Robin said. "This is a boy-love fan fiction. I should have realized it sooner."

"Dude, you really should have." Cyborg agreed. He didn't usually like to say _dude_ this much, but it was thematic at the moment, so he went with it.

Robin hung his head. "What about me though? Am I such a looser that I can't even get a boyfriend in a boy-love fanfic when everybody else has one?" He asked.

"There, there, little bro buddy." Cyborg patted him on the head. "Don't be sad."

"We'll get you a bromance, bro. Just wait and see." Beast Boy added positively.

"Yeah." Cyborg said. "We just need to get you a makeover and a little more self-confidence."

"A makeover?" Gizmo asked. "Oh, we are totally in for that, right boys?" He asked.

The others nodded and said that they were.

And so it was that, several hours later, Kid Flash got another phone call. "Yeahhello? ThesisKidFlash." He answered. "What? H.I.V.E. Island? Robin wants to tell me how awesome I am? I'm so..." He skidded to a halt inside the H.I.V.E. living room, staring at the boy in front of him. "There." He finished. "And who are _you_ , hot stuff?" He asked, slow walking around the boy in the handsome black leather with the cool hair.

"They call me... _Nightwing_." Robin, or, now Nightwing said.

" _Nightwing_ , huh?" Kid Flash said. "So... Seeing anyone? If you are, dump him right away. I'm here."

"Don't recognize me, do you?" Nightwing asked.

"No, I... _wait_." Kid Flash squinted, looking closer in around the eyes and the chin. " _Robin_ , is that you?"

"Used to be." Robin said. "I've had an upgrade." He told him. It really was amazing how much good a wardrobe upgrade and a better haircut could do for a boy, he thought to himself. He felt confident and smooth in a way he'd never felt before.

"I'll say." Kid Flash said. "So... Want to date me?" He asked. "What am I saying, of _course_ you want to date me. I am _me_ after all. Come on, let's go date."

And, just like that, Nightwing found himself seated at a restaurant down by the water. "So... tell me about yourself, Nightwing." Kid Flash prompted, making lurv eyes at him from across the table as violins played and a tuxedoed waiter came to take their order.

"Well, once upon a time, I was born in a circus..." Nightwing started to tell his origin story.

* * *

And that, people who've been reading along, is the end of our show's second episode!

 **Next Episode: "New Teen Titans Go vs. The Teen Titans Boy Band!"**

Do come back and join us, for thrills! Surprises! More amusing turns phrase! More romance! More bromance! And, you know, other stuff too.

Anyway, so I've got one reader who's followed, faved, and commented so far. I was very flattered by the joyful praise of my show. It warmed my cold, cold heart (I don't really have a cold heart, I just said it because of a whim). Thank you for saving me from a swarm of the crickets, dear reader. Still though, possibly a slow start building my readership I guess, but obviously I'm a huge hit just waiting in the wings =]

So, what do you say readers of mine? Want a full season of this stuff?


	3. vs The Teen Titans Boy Band!

**Episode 3: New Teen Titans Go vs. The Teen Titans Boy Band!**

* * *

Six days later, in the cheerfully decorated room they now shared, Jinx and Terra were in bed together. Jinx was brushing Terra's hair after they'd just had a bubble bath together. "You really should take better care of this..." She said fawningly of Terra's long blonde hair. "It's really pretty." She complemented, getting in closer and whispering in her ear. "I like touching it... a lot." She confessed.

Terra shivered a little in delight. She closed her eyes and sighed. "You do, huh?" She asked, feeling dreamy.

"Well... I do like to touch other parts of you too, I'll have you know." Jinx told her softly, running a hand down one of her arms. "You want me to do that, right?" She asked.

"...Heck, yeah." Terra admitted, letting out a sigh of contentment as Jinx let the brush drop on the bed and moved to press up against her from behind, touching one of her thighs now. She let her eyes flutter closed as Jinx started to kiss her shoulder. "Oh, wow... This feels like it's too good to be true..." She confessed, feeling even more dreamy inside. It was true though. Her life had kind of really sucked rocks thus far, in large part. She was kind of afraid all this would go away if she stopped paying attention or something.

"That's the thing though, it's not. I'm right here... and I'm yours, Terra. I promise I am." Jinx cooed to her, just happy to have her girlfriend to herself for a while. Their team had just gotten back from stopping Mumbo Jumbo from robbing a jewelry exchange. Which, you know, actually kind of sucked. She missed robbing places sometimes. The chaos, the excitement... It was totally worth it to have given up her life of crime for a starring role and a knockout gorgeous girlfriend who made her feel so special though. She'd been emailing with her brother too, and she'd been relieved to find out that the former Titans boys had moved in on H.I.V.E. Island and things were going okay for him. She'd been worried he'd miss her too much. But he understood though, that she'd met someone, and he was happy for her.

"Yeah?" Terra asked, turning in her girlfriend's arms, gazing into her eyes, wanting to kiss her.

"Yeah." Jinx said back, putting heat into the word.

Terra wordlessly moved forward and kissed her, lowering her down onto her back on the bed, the two touching and groping at each other with an urgent passion that quickly became a thoughtless need.

* * *

Raven yawned theatrically as she floated there in the new training dojo they'd put in. She was currently sparring with Rose, having used her dark shadowy magic powers to create two swords and a shadow self to do the actual fighting on her behalf. She'd cast a spell to give her other self a copy of Rose's ability at fighting too, so Rose would have a challenge. It was actually fun for her, to feel like she was in two places at once. The demon half of her was starting to feel the battle-lust thing a bit too much for her liking though, so she crossed her legs and started to meditate.

"Oh, am I _boring_ you now, demon girl?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, that's it. I'm _so_ bored." Raven couldn't help quirking a little of a smile that she quickly hid. She liked Rose, really she did. Even if she was a bad influence on her... No, yeah, or probably because of that, actually. Her other bad influence was her dad of course, so it was actually a good thing for her, she figured, to have a... well, _good_ sort of bad influence for once. Anyway, today was Starfire's last day with her sister being her bet-loser slave, and, as much fun as it had been for her to watch, there was only so much girl stuff and sister bonding torture she could watch her girlfriend subject Blackfire to before Raven actually started to feel sorry for the girl... which was something she could _not_ allow. So she'd _hey Rose, wanna go fight me with swords_ ed Rose, who had said _sure_ and followed after her, and here they were.

"Yeah, well... bored _this_!" Rose feinted and slipped in to kick out shadow Raven's feet from under her.

Only shadow Raven didn't fall on her butt, she just floated off the ground and smiled evilly at her opponent, knocking Rose's sword out of her hand with a negligent seeming swipe of her blade, causing it to clatter to the ground.

"Damn it!" Rose cursed, rolling out of the way and coming up in a crouch, having retrieved her sword.

"Terra did tell you, you know? I _always_ win." Raven told her, taunting her. She wasn't really as competitive as she was pretending to be, but she figured this was one of those nean things she could do. Rose would definitely come back at her even harder now, more motivated to prove her wrong. Plus, you know, it was funny to see Rose's face get all pink when she was frustrated, too.

"Yeah, whatever!" Rose said, rushing in and furiously rejoining the fight until, sure enough, a minute later, shadow Raven's swords went flying and she found herself backed up against the dojo's wall, Rose's sword at her throat. "Who won now, huh?" Rose asked, breathing hard but feeling totally triumphant.

"Totally you." Raven said, dissolving shadow Raven and moving out of her meditation pose. "Wanna go eat?" She asked.

Rose smirked. "Yeah, we could do that."

So they left the dojo and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

"Peek-a-boo, peek-a-boo..." Starfire said, popping her head up and the head of a stuffed animal kitten up from one side of the bed.

Blackfire sighed. "I see you, oh humble stuffed kitten. What would ask of me, the um, the..." She actually blushed. "Goddess of kittens?" She managed to make herself say. Dressed as she was now, in an _I heart kittens_ tee-shirt, cat-ears barrette, and cat themed face paint, she really didn't know how she could be embarrassed about anything anymore, but her little sister just seemed to keep finding new ways, didn't she? ...Who knew she could be this creative? She almost had to admire her for her sheer ingenuity. Almost.

"Oh! But I only wish to have the tummy rubs, oh wise goddess of the kittens." Starfire said, handing over the stuffed kitten to her sister with beseeching eyes. She had the shirt, the cat ears, and the face paint too.

 _Why, Xhal? Why...?_ She asked her Tamaranian goddess. That's what Blackfire wanted to know as she took the stuffed kitten and dutifully began to rub its soft, sickeningly cute yet wholly inanimate tummy. She was sure she'd be haunted by kittens in her dreams by this point. They, her entire team, Starfire, Raven, Jinx, Terra, herself, and her hot new girlfriend, Rose the Ravager, had gone to _Cat-Con_ in Jump City earlier today. There had been cat videos, a cat pageant, cat toys, cat memorabilia, and, of course... cats. _So_ many cats, and, well, kittens too, obviously. Starfire had made her buy an obscene amount of merchandise for her too, including a small mountain of stuffed animals. She was only grateful that Starfire was worried that Silkie would eat any actual kittens if she brought one home. It was a small mercy, but she'd take it. She really did have to admit that Rose was a great girlfriend for suffering through it all with her though... even if the wench had lost the bet that had doomed them to Cat-Con in the first place.

Starfire was giggling as her sister tickled the tummy of the stuffed kitten that she had named _The Bob_. She smiled, because it had gotten so very easy to smile this last week. Not only could she now be open with her romance with her girlfriend, Raven, but her formerly estranged older sister had come back to her at long last and found a cute girlfriend to share the lurvs with as well. She had been worried that perhaps Blackfire would seek to trick her in some way, and be mean to her again. And her sister _had_ tried to do the cheating when they'd made the best girlfriend bet, but, once she had lost the bet, she had not done the chickening out. Starfire sighed. It was only of the sadness that the week was almost all gone now. She wished that Blackfire could be her bet-losing slave forever. She could only hope to herself that her sister would be nice to her for real once it was over. Who was to say? Perhaps the kittens had worked their magic cuteness on her and she would be after all? That would be _wonderful_ , she mused, dreamily...

"Um, so there, tummy... thoroughly rubbed. Happy now?" Blackfire asked, blushing a little more because she'd let herself rub the stupid stuffed animal's tummy longer than she'd meant to.

Starfire looked up at her then, eyes round and pleading. "Me next?" She asked hopefully.

 _As if I have a choice_ , Blackfire grumbled to herself. "Fine..." She said. Starfire had made her be nice and sisterly to her all this time, so she did her best to dig out another smile from somewhere. "Um, get up here... you little cutie, you." She told her.

Starfire squealed in happiness and did so. Laying on her side and looking impossibly cute and pretty laying there. Blackfire gulped a little, then tentatively reached out a hand to rub her sister's belly. Starfire giggled when she touched her and Blackfire withdrew her hand immediately, surprised. She reached out again to touch her and she did it again. Blackfire sighed, starting to tickle her sister in earnest. Soon enough, they were wrestling around on the bed, in a tickle-fight.

Internally, Blackfire groaned to herself. _I am such a cliché right now._

 _I blame Raven_ , Blackfire thought later, laying there and breathing hard next to her sister on the bed after the fight was over and she'd managed to pin her sister to the bed and convince her to surrender. She determined to herself then and there that, somehow, some way, she _would_ get revenge on her sister's girlfriend for this.

And it would be _epic_.

* * *

Later that day, as the sun was going down.

"...I think we should just order pizza." Terra said.

"Pizza's boring." Rose said, watching from the corner of her eye as her girlfriend was giving Starfire a backrub. That was getting so _very_ old, yes it was. Tomorrow couldn't get here fast enough, as far as she was concerned. Stupid bet.

"I could go for Chinese?" Raven put forward.

"Yeah, okay. I'm in for that." Rose put in her vote.

Terra shrugged. "Okay."

"Works for me." Jinx agreed. "I _am_ cooking breakfast in the morning though. So, no sleeping in too late, okay?" She asked everyone. She'd been making meals sometimes the last week. She had at H.I.V.E. sometimes too, though her brother had bogarted her consistently about it, because he was addicted to playing chef (he was _awesome_ at it too). She liked being able to contribute.

The others all agreed. Except Rose. "No promises." She said, still feeling disgruntled about the backrub.

Jinx slumped a little at that, and Terra wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist from behind. "I think you make great breakfasts. I'll be your assistant again, if you want?" She offered to cheer her up. This _having a girlfriend_ thing was so great, she thought to herself.

"Yeah? Um, okay then." Jinx said, feeling a little shy somehow, but liking the feeling a lot. This _having a girlfriend_ thing was so great, she thought to herself.

"Settled then." Raven said. "I'll go make the food run." She offered, looking over at Starfire, who's eyes were closed, tuning out everything and enjoying the backrub. She sighed and looked to Rose.

"Yeah, I think I'll tag along." Rose said in commiseration.

"Sold." Raven agreed, opening a portal and floating through.

Rose walked through after, casting a backward glance at her girlfriend as she did. Blackfire met her gaze and pleaded for forgiveness with her eyes. Rose smiled to her to let her know it really wasn't all that bad. Blackfire looked relieved, and that made Rose feel a lot better about it as she turned to follow Raven to get Chinese.

"Should we go watch TV while we wait?" Terra asked.

"Yeah, that sounds okay." Jinx agreed.

"Can we watch the show about the monkey that is the curious and the man with the funny yellow hat?" Starfire asked hopefully, blinking her eyes open with interest.

Jinx looked at Terra. "Yeah, I guess we could do that." Terra said, agreeable about it because, really, she was just going to make out with her girlfriend until the food got here anyway. And it _was_ a cute monkey.

"Joy!" Starfire said, levitating up and pulling her sister along with her into the living room. "Sister bonding time continues!" Jinx and Terra heard Starfire say from the other room.

Jinx and Terra looked at each other and smiled, finding the whole thing endlessly amusing. "They're so cute together, aren't they?"

"Yeah. _Way_ more entertainment value than I thought it would be." Terra had to admit, referring to the bet last week.

Jinx giggled, took Terra's hand in hers, and went with her into the living room so they could make out while watching the monkey show.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Jump City, at Hong Kong Stir-fry (Raven's favorite Chinese food place), Raven and Rose stood in line to place their order at the to-go counter. It was a popular place, but, in Raven's opinion, worth the wait.

"It could have been worse." Raven said as they moved up a spot in the line. Only one person ahead of them now.

"What, the bet thing, you mean?" Rose asked, a little lost in thought. Blackfire really... got under her skin, she admitted to herself. She admitted to herself too that she was feeling more insecure about the whole relationship thing than she'd ever want to admit. Somehow, she was worried she'd find a way to screw it up or something. She didn't want that to happen.

"Yeah. Can you imagine what would have happened if Blackfire had won?" Raven asked, shuddering a little at the thought.

Rose blinked, not having considered that. She did now, and actually started giggling to herself. Which was odd—she _obviously_ wasn't the kind of girl who usually did that sort of thing.

Raven caught the humor and joined in giggling.

The guy in front of them in line moved on then, and they were just about to place their order when there was the sound of a falling building outside.

The two Teen Titans looked at each other and then Rose nodded and they hurried out to see what was going on.

They looked down the street and saw Cinderblock. He was punching at something they couldn't quite make out.

"Let's go!" Raven said, flying down the street towards the big rock monster villain guy.

" _Ha!_ " They heard a familiar voice shout, as a boy jumped down from a nearby roof and bashed Cinderblock in the head with a familiar looking staff. "I've got you now, Cinderblock!" He said as he acrobatically landed on the ground in a familiar pose.

"Is that?" Rose asked.

Raven took in the black and blue leather outfit and shook her head. "Can't be. He's so... unembarrassing to look at." She observed.

"Yeah, he's actually kind of cute now." Rose observed.

Raven looked at her flatly. "What? It's a cool haircut." Rose defended, wondering if she should try something new in that department herself? No _way_ was she going to let freaking loser _Robin_ have a cooler haircut than she had. It just wasn't happening.

The whatever it was that Cinderblock had been punching at ineffectively slid in to a stop next to the boy in black, facing off against Cinderblock. "Kid Flash?" Raven asked.

Just then, a green pterodactyl named Beast Boy swooped in and dropped off Aqualad, and Cyborg flew in on his jet-boots and dropped off Speedy.

"All right, Teen Titans, let's take him down!" The mystery boy (who was obviously Robin) said.

"Yeah, that's totally Robin." Raven finally had to admit.

"Wait, did he just say _they_ were the Teen Titans?" Rose asked. "I thought _we_ were the Teen Titans?"

" _We are._ " Raven retorted, now officially annoyed.

"I mean, we've got the tower and everything... Does this mean we're going to have a grudge match soon or something?" She asked.

"Totally." Raven said flatly.

* * *

(And now, cue the flashback to explain stuff.)

Carried in Kid Flash's arms as he ran across the water, Nightwing had to admit to himself that he'd gone all gooey inside over this boy. Who'd have thought, right? Life sure could throw you a curveball sometimes. It was like, one minute, a boy could be heartless and cruel to you, stomp on your self-esteem mercilessly every time you saw him and leave you crying in a corner in your room, feeling hopeless and alone, and the next minute, your only two remaining friends and an odd assortment of villain types could give you a makeover and next thing you knew, you'd be dating the very same boy who'd crushed your heart under his fashionable boots so many times before. Go figure. Sometimes, shallowness could be great, couldn't it?

On the shore of H.I.V.E. Island, Kid Flash set Nightwing down on his feet. "No, no, you don't have to say it. I know your heart's going all pitter-pat, pitter-pat. I'd be alright with it if you wanted to swoon though? I look great catching people when they swoon."

"Maybe... some other time." Nightwing said, feeling kind of uncomfortable about it, actually.

"No, yeah. I get it. Totally better to wait until the press is around. You're clever." Kid Flash complemented, patting Nightwing's butt. "Plus, _really_ nice buns. I can tell you've put a lot of work in." He complemented further. It was all an act, really—the shallow thing. Or, at least he hoped it was anyway. Somedays he wasn't so sure.

Nightwing smiled, tearing up a little. "I have, actually. I'm... glad someone finally noticed." He said, wiping away a tear. It had been so long... Such a long and difficult path he'd walked, to sculpt his buns into the completely prefect specimens of bunness that they'd become, and now, finally, after all this time, all the work, sweat, and toil—here, at last, was the payoff...

Feeling uncharacteristically tentative, Kid Flash held out a hand to his date and smiled when Nightwing gazed into his eyes and took it.

And so it was that, hand in hand, the two walked down the path back to the H.I.V.E. base that Nightwing and his sidekicks, Cyborg and Beast Boy (who, in actuality, were only his sidekicks in the privacy of his own mind... so far, anyway) were crashing at until they could get back on their feet.

"You know, I know this place up the coast where they have really good seafood. We could, you know, go out on another date, if you want?" Kid Flash asked.

"Yeah... Yeah, I think I'd like that." Nightwing admitted, his heart beating a bit faster in his chest.

As they got close to the door though, it opened and Cyborg and Beast Boy were kicked out, landing on their buns in front of them. "Uh, what's going on?" Nightwing asked Gizmo and the other H.I.V.E. guys.

"What's _going on_ is we're kicking you losers out. Get lost." Gizmo told them.

"Yeah, and don't come back." Billy-Numerous said as the door closed on them.

"Guys? ...What'd you do?" Nightwing asked, marveling over how he even sounded more mature wearing this getup. Could it be true that clothes really _did_ make the man?

"There... _may_ have been an incident involving Beast Boy's world famous vegetarian chili recipe?" Cyborg admitted.

"Oh no." Nightwing slapped his hand over his face and dragged it down.

"Yeah." Cyborg said.

"Oh, come on!" Beast Boy protested. "It's a natural bodily function! Besides, the gas wasn't _that_ bad."

"No, it totally was." Cyborg corrected.

Beast Boy gave him a look. "Traitor." He accused.

Cyborg held up his hands. "Peace, man. Peace." He extolled the virtues of peace.

"Yeah, whatevs, brah." Beast Boy said, getting to his feet and dusting off his soiled buns.

"Hey, come on guys, what happened to the bromance?" Nightwing asked.

Beast Boy looked down at Cyborg, who was still on the ground and felt his chin quiver a little. He held out his hand, and Cyborg smiled hopefully. Cyborg reached out, clasped his boyfriend's hand, and was gallantly helped to his feet.

"Aw, Beasty. You didn't leave me hanging." Cyborg said, having been afraid his boyfriend would have pulled his helping hand away at the last second as a cruel joke (as revenge for not having his back on the chili issue).

"I couldn't do that to you, brah, so way. You're my guy." Beast Boy said.

"Aw. Aren't they just adorable?" Nightwing asked as he watched the two share makeup kisses.

"Yeah... Not so much, really." Kid Flash said with the shallow, cutting honesty that had become his trademark.

"Dude. Harsh." Nightwing defended his hopefully-one-day-soon official sidekicks.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry guys. You aren't _complete_ losers or anything. So, look on the bright side?" Kid Flash offered.

Nightwing groaned. Well, at least it wasn't targeted at him this time, right?

"Yeah, whatever hater." Beast Boy said.

"Total hater." Cyborg agreed.

"Guys, come on. No fighting, okay? We've... kind of got to figure out where we're going to sleep tonight and stuff." Nightwing told them.

"I've got a place." Kid Flash offered, eying Beast Boy and Cyborg dubiously. "Firm, _firm_ no chili allowed rule though. Comprende?"

"Scout's honor." Beast Boys said.

"You were a Boy Scout?" Cyborg asked.

"Well, I have lots of practice at scouting for boys?" Beast Boy countered.

"Yeah, well, no more of that now. You are off the market, better recognize." Cyborg put down his foot on the issue.

"Dude, dude, no worries. There's no one else." Beast Boy tried to be smooth his way out of this.

"Better not be, is all I'm saying." Cyborg muttered.

"Yeah, well, a place to stay is fine and all, but what are we going to do for work?" Nightwing asked practically.

"Yeah, dude, I just realized." Beast Boy laughed. "We totally just got fired from being superheroes _and_ supervillains. You'd think there was something _wrong_ with us or something."

"... _Damn_ , we really are losers, aren't we?" Cyborg said, incredulous. Honestly, he'd thought he was _way_ more cool than this. Who knew?

Kid Flash snickered. "I could have told you _that_."

"Hater, you better not be." Beast Boy warned.

"Oooh, _so_ scared." Kid Flash scoffed.

"Guys, guys. Please, no fighting." Nightwing again played peacemaker. He really _was_ more mature now. Who knew?

"Yeah, yeah." Beast Boy said. "So, what we gonna do now? Work retail or something?" He asked.

"Oh hell no. We are not!" Cyborg put his foot down (again).

"Yeah, I'm with you there." Nightwing had to agree. That was a hell he was in no way ready to go through at this point in his life.

Kid Flash shook his head. "Jeez. Slow people are so _slow_ sometimes." He said.

"What, do you have an idea?" Nightwing asked, hopeful.

"Duh." Kid Flash said. "Just because you got fired from the Teen Titans, doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. You want to be heroes? Be heroes. It's not like its _hard_ or anything. For me. You two? Maybe." He said, eyeing Cyborg and Beast Boy dubiously (again).

"Oh, it is so on now, brah. We are going to have ourselves a good old fashion _Grudge Match!_ "

And, yeah, next they went out and convinced Aqualad and Speedy (who, predictably by this point, also happened to be a couple) to join up, and thus the seeds of strife have been scattered to the wind, only to bear... um, grudge match fruit? Yeah, okay, bad analogy. You should come back for the next episode anyway though. It's going to be awesome!

* * *

 **Next Episode: New Teen Titans vs The Grudge Match Apples!**

Yes, dear wonderful readers, it is a literal fruit (specifically, they are apples), as it turns out... but anyway, join us next time as a mysterious and sinister villain sneaks around to sow discord among our favorite heroes. That, and there's gratuitous violence too! =)

(everybody likes a little gratuitous violence in their cartoons every now and then, right?)


	4. vs The Grudge Match Apples!

**Episode 4: New Teen Titans Go vs. The Grudge Match Apples!**

* * *

Earlier that morning (before Cat-Con), a mysterious and shadowy figure snuck stealthily into Titans Tower, intent on some decidedly nefarious deeds. The figure waited and listened in on the tower's inhabitants. Her time to act, she told herself, would be soon...

"You know this is pretty much going to be cruel and unusual punishment for her, don't you?" Raven asked.

"I am aware." Starfire said, unconcerned. "But I have faith that the kittens will soon work their kitteny ways upon her and she will thank me for the punishment in the end."

"Either that, or she's going to turn evil again and reek horrible vengeance on us both with, I don't know, an alien armada or something?" Raven offered.

Starfire just looked at her, a little disappointed in her girlfriend's lack of faith. "My sister does not have such an armada." She told her, hugging the Silkie. "And we are going to the Cat-Con for sister bonding time, no matter what you say."

Raven sighed. Blackfire was always a touchy subject for Starfire, she'd known that. She was family, after all. Raven could relate. "You know that's not what I meant. I'm just worried... I don't want her to hurt you again." She told her girlfriend, thinking about how many times Blackfire had done just that to Starfire. To say Raven was still holding a grudge for it wouldn't be inaccurate, so much as it would be stating a fact. If she wasn't afraid that Starfire would hate her for it, she probably would have sent Blackfire to a trash dimension a _long_ time ago.

Starfire smiled, charmed, setting down the Silkie on the couch and going over to kiss Raven lingeringly. "And that is yet one _more_ reason why you are the bestest of the girlfriends." She told her, hugging her, then nuzzling her cheek and giggling. "You are also the cutest." She added, scratching Raven's chin with one finger and kissing the tip of her nose.

Raven blushed a little. It was for sure a sign that Starfire pretty much _owned_ her by this point that she was now dressed up in a hood that was white with gray stripes and had cat ears on it... the fake tail that was dangling out behind her was a pretty strong indication too... She just had to make very sure that she never told Starfire that she could use her magic to make the tail and ears _real_. That... might just cross a line for her. "Um, yeah, thanks, I guess..." She said under her breath, blushing even more when Jinx and Terra came in.

Jinx was making like a starry-eyed ballet dancer again, dancing as she moved, and was decked out in a homemade cat suit that matched the way she usually liked to dress. Terra was just smiling indulgently and walking at a normal pace. She'd let Jinx make a costume for her too though, so Raven felt better that she'd let Starfire do the same thing to her. "You too, huh?" Raven asked as Terra came up beside her while Starfire caught Jinx's happy mood and went to dance with her, the two of them devolving into giggles before Starfire dragged Jinx with her over to see the costume she'd put Silkie in, in honor of Cat-Con.

"Pretty much, yeah. Got a problem with that?" Terra asked, looking sideways at Raven with a little fearful suspicion.

Raven sighed and threw up her hands. "Fine! I'm sorry I dumped you in a trash dimension repeatedly, I promise I won't ever do it again. Satisfied?! Can you just move on already?" She pleaded, because, really, the looks were getting freaking annoying.

Terra just kept on looking at her like that a moment longer, then her expression softened. "You, um... You really mean it?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes, okay? You're, you know, part of the team or whatever. I um, I trust you now, okay?" Raven told her, trying her best not to blush too much more.

"...Yeah, okay." Terra said in a soft voice, looking back over to where Jinx and Starfire were, feeling a pang of emotion. "Um, thanks..." She said, looking shyly over to Raven.

"Yeah, well, don't expect me to hug you or anything." Raven told her.

Terra giggled a little. "It's okay. I know you like me now." She told her, feeling a little smug somehow... Not that she was going to let her guard down around Raven completely just yet, but, well, this felt good. Like a weight off her shoulders, you know?

"Whatever." Raven said, looking away to hide the small smile that came to her lips.

* * *

Blackfire stood in the room she and Rose were sharing now, looking at herself in the mirror. "This is just... I hate her, you know? Usually, I just like messing with her too much not to, but every once and a while? Hate." She told Rose as she stared at herself in the mirror and tried to not... go blind or something.

"Yeah, I guess I can see that. But hey, don't worry so much. You kinda look hot in anything." Rose told her. Blackfire was dressed in a head to toe cat suit that Starfire had gotten for her. Rose herself was in the process of dressing in one too, though it was hard not to cringe repeatedly, thinking about what she was doing. But, well, this was a solidarity with her girlfriend thing. The principle of it, you know?

"You think so, do you?" Blackfire asked, pleased and suddenly in the mood to seduce her. When Rose was around, she was pretty much always in the mood for that though. She flew over and landed behind her on the bed, cozying up to her and wrapping her arms around her, kissing her shoulder, then starting to lick her. "Care to prove it then?" She asked, in a low purr, pushing her over onto her back and getting on top of her. "When we get home today? I'll have you know? I am going to enjoy _ripping_ this _monstrosity_ you're wearing to shreds with my bear hands so I can have my way with you again... _I promise_..." She finished in a heated whisper.

Their eyes met and Rose just stared back a moment, swallowing at her girlfriend's words. Backfire's eyes were intense. Rose brought a hand up and cupped her neck, pulling her down for a heated kiss, rolling her over onto her back so she was on top.

They lost themselves in making out for a few minutes, and Blackfire decided maybe she could forgive her sister after all. Kissing Rose always put her in a better mood... a _much_ better mood.

"Sister? Sister, it is time that we are going..." Starfire's voice called, but Blackfire and Rose ignored her. "There you are... Oh! Such cuteness!" Starfire gushed, seeing her sister and Rose making out in their cat costumes. "I will go get the camera to commemorate this momen- _yipe_!" She dodged out of the way just in time as Blackfire's eyebeams nearly scorched her. "What was that for!?" Starfire demanded, outraged.

"Like you don't know!" Blackfire shouted, angry and embarrassed, blushing a little as she sat up. The hate was back now, oh yes it was.

Starfire tilted her head. "I... apologize, sister. I did not mean to embarrass you." She told her.

"Oh, whatever. I'm not embarrassed, okay? Can we just... get this over with? This day cannot be over soon enough, as far as I'm concerned."

Starfire just looked at her, eyes going watery with hurt and regret. "Very well... I will be waiting with the others when you are ready to depart, then." She said, floating off down the hall, feeling dejected.

Blackfire sighed, Rose moving to hold her from behind. "What you think of her matters a lot to her. You know that, right?"

"You're taking her side now?" Blackfire asked, but there wasn't much heat behind the words.

"I'm on your side, you know that. You're my girlfriend. It's kind of in the job description." Rose told her. "But... you know, she's your sister, right?" She asked, thinking of her own stupid brother... who was currently in jail.

Blackfire sighed. "Yeah... She just... She gets under my skin, you know? It's annoying."

"I get that, believe me. Remind me to tell you about my little brother sometime." She offered.

"You have a little brother?" Blackfire asked, not having known that. She felt guilty she hadn't known that. Rose had talked about her dad, that Slade guy, once, but... She resolved herself to asking her more about Rose's past, learning other stuff a girlfriend should know. It was just kind of hard not to kiss her or get her into bed every time she looked at her though... Thinking about it, the logical thing for her to do would be to break up the Teen Titans so she could have Rose to herself more... It was something to think about, anyway, she considered. It was weird though, she... Starfire's hideous cat torture aside, she... kind of liked it here.

"Yeah... but, later, okay? We've got to go do the cat thing now, right?" She asked.

Blackfire groaned. "Don't remind me." She said, dutifully getting up off the bed. "So, get dressed then, I guess."

"Yeah, okay." Rose smiled a little.

Blackfire watched as Rose finished getting the cat outfit on. She actually found herself getting hot watching her. _There's something seriously wrong with me..._ She thought to herself about how Rose wearing the cat outfit turned her on for some reason. Maybe it was just that Rose was willing to do it for her that was the turn on? Yeah... that _had_ to be it.

Rose caught her staring and smirked.

Blackfire actually blushed a little at that. "Let's go already." She told her to cover, taking Rose's hand and dragging her with her to go off to meet their Cat-Con doom.

In the living room, they met up with the others. Once they were there, Raven made a portal for them and they left.

For once, Terra felt more confident about walking through one of Raven's portals. She took Jinx's hand and went through to Cat-Con with a small, shy smile on her lips.

"They're all gone. Finally." The mysterious figure spoke, coming out from her hiding spot.

She walked over, saw the Cat-Con poster Starfire had put on the refrigerator door and giggled to herself at the sight, thinking how the timing on this was so funny. There was a bowl of apples on the counter that Jinx had gotten for the team of Titan girls the previous day.

The figure proceeded to steal the apples and replace them with the apples she'd brought with her.

This was going to be perfect... and, she thought, it was going to make her rich again—guaranteed.

Her wicked deed done, she disappeared back into the shadows and left the tower silent again... that is, of course, until the Teen Titans returned later that day.

* * *

Meanwhile (we're still in the flashback), in the big, expensive loft apparent in Jump City that Kid Flash owned, Nightwing sat there, eating an apple and brooding as he watched the city through the expansive two-story window that took up one whole side of the apartment, along with some of the ceiling. "Great view, right?" Kid Flash asked, sitting down next to him, eating an apple too.

"Yeah, totally... These are really good apples, by the way. What kind are they?" He asked his boyfriend.

Kid Flash shrugged. "I don't know. Salad boy probably bought them." He commented, referring to Beast Boy, who was a vegetarian.

Nightwing hid a laugh with a pretend cough. "You know, you really should stop calling him that." He offered, his gaze wandering to where Beast Boy and Cyborg were making out while watching sock puppets... again. There was a half-eaten pizza next to them.

"Hey, I'm a jerk. It's kind of my thing. You know you love it." Kid Flash said, bumping shoulders with him.

"Yeah... maybe." He admitted, looking over to where their new recruits, Aqualad and Speedy, were playing table hockey together. "You really think we're going to be able to make this work? The new team?" He asked.

Kid Flash shrugged. "Yeah, sure, why not?" He asked. "And, you know, if not, who cares? You've got _me_ , right? I'm pretty much carrying all of you anyway."

Nightwing scoffed. "Yeah, right." He said.

"Oh, shut up." Kid Flash told him, light and playful, setting down his apple and moving to kiss his boyfriend.

Nightwing sat down his own apple and let himself get lost in the kissing. This _being in a boy love fan fiction_ thing was really working for him by this point. Who knew having a boyfriend could feel so good? And he had a team again. They'd done the work, they had the poses down, and Kid Flash had worked his magic with the TV reporters. Today was the day, he told himself. Today, they'd make their big debut, and then he'd show Raven and Starfire what a mistake they'd made. All they needed was...

 ** _CRIME ALERT! CRIME ALERT! CRIME ALERT!_**

Everybody perked up, Nightwing raised his fists in the air. "Yesss!" He got up to his feet and went over to the new crime computer Kid Flash had paid to have put in yesterday. He really did have to ask where all the money came from, he reminded himself, again ruing the fact that Batman had cut him off since he'd wrecked the Batmobile last year. " _Cinderblock!_ " He read the alert. "This is perfect!" He exclaimed as Kid Flash lazily wandered over to stand next to him, the other four boys gathering around. "All right—this is it, everyone. Remember our training. Teen Titans Let's Go!"

And off they went. Once they were gone though, that same mysterious figure from before stepped out from the shadows. "This is a really nice place." She said a little wonderingly. "Kid Flash has good taste." She said to herself, wandering around and starting to steal the paintings and stuff, because, unless she missed her guess? They were originals.

A few minutes later, she found her way into the secret room she'd noticed that Kid Flash kept a secret from the others on his team. Her eyes widened as she saw bags of money and other assorted valuables. She rubbed her hands together. "Well, well, well, what do you know. Looks like I'm not the only one who's been _bad_ lately." She said, taking out her cell phone. "Hey, yeah, I'm at Kid Flash's place. Come on over girlfriend, looks like I'm going to need some help carrying all this stuff."

* * *

And so it was that (we're back to the present now) in Jump City, near Hong-Kong Stir-Fry, after an action-packed fight scene between Nightwing's new team and the villainous Cinderblock, Nightwing and Kid Flash stood, triumphant, on top of the unconscious stone villain, both of them striking dramatic poses as the press photographed them along with the rest of their team of Teen Boy Titans.

"Well, well." Raven spoke up, stepping up to the front of the crowd, Rose standing with her, having her back. "Look what H.I.V.E. Island coughed up." She said, mentally cursing herself. She'd just paraphrased _Look what the cat dragged in_ , and with a hairball inference too... She'd been around _way_ too many cats lately, she thought with a little bit of an internal cringe.

" _Raven._ " Nightwing accused resentfully, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Yeah! _Raven!_ " Beast Boy imitated Robin's tone, still not at all okay with having been kicked out of Titans Tower by her.

"What are you doing here? Want us back now, don't you? Well, it's too late, we've got a new team now." Cyborg said, he and Beast Boy crossing their arms and standing back to back, striking a pose too.

Rose looked over to where Speedy and Aqualad were both striking poses of their own. "Um, hey. What's with all the posing, exactly?" Rose asked.

Cyborg deflated a little. "It's horrible!" He confessed overdramatically, remembering the hours of pose practice they'd had to put up with lately. "I know it's horrible. You sure you don't want us back? We'd totally ditch Robin if you want?"

"You would?" Rose asked, looking at Beast Boy.

"Yeah, totally." He admitted. "I mean, jeez. If you thought Robin was bad by his self, he's ten times _worse_ with Kid Flash around!"

Robin cleared his throat. "Actually... It's _Nightwing_ now." Nightwing corrected. "And get back in line, sidekicks! Mutiny is a _hanging_ offense!" He shouted them down, left eye twitching a little. He had to rally things, he told himself. Get back in control.

"Oh! So we're his sidekicks now?" Cyborg asked his boyfriend.

"Yes! And don't you forget it!" Nightwing told them, in no uncertain terms. "Step out of line one more time, and it's no pizza for a week!"

Cyborg gasped, narrowing his eyes. "You _wouldn't_!"

"Oh, I would." Nightwing told him, being smug about it. He hadn't expected to come up against Raven's team the first time out, but he wasn't going to back down, he told himself. Besides, it looked like it was just her and Ravager for now. He had them outnumbered... that was, of course, if he could actually _count_ on Beast Boy and Cyborg to have his _back_. They would... right?

"Did you notice we're just standing around in the background?" Aqualad asked Speedy. "It's kind of insulting."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Speedy said. "We didn't even get a couple's origin story, not even a paragraph. Heck, they've only thrown me cameos since season one, and not even very many of them! It's so not fair..." He muttered.

"Please, momma!" Beast Boy said, getting to his knees in front of Raven. "You gotta save us!"

Rose chuckled. "Yeah, like that's gonna happen." She looked at Raven a little doubtfully though, wondering if the other girl was really considering going back to the status quo. If that happened, she and Blackfire, Terra and Jinx too, would get kicked out of the tower again and she'd probably have to sneak around off-screen to be with Blackfire. They'd also probably not get that many cameos either. That would just... completely suck.

"Yeah... Not interested. Sorry." Raven told Beast Boy.

Rose sighed in relief.

Kid Flash laughed at Beast Boy. "Yeah, I could have told you _that_ would happen. Now you're out pizza for a week." He gloated, finding the whole thing hilarious.

"Two weeks!" Nightwing said. "They get _no mercy_." He hissed at them, squinting again. Was he letting this whole _being Nightwing, leading the team again, and having an (as it turned out) very rich boyfriend who could kick people out of his place if he asked him to_ thing go to his head a little? Yeah, he kind of was—duh! But so what? This was awesome! Now he just had to win this grudge match they were so clearly about to have, and life would be perfect!

"Are you really just going to let him go full-on dictator on these guys?" Rose asked Kid Flash.

Kid Flashed shrugged. "Sure. It's kind of a turn on, actually." He admitted.

Rose cringed, making a face. "Ew." She said, backing away a little. "Boys are so weird."

"It... might also be the way his buns look in those tights though, I'll admit." Kid Flash confessed belatedly, having to admit that he was, perhaps, shallow enough about these things for that to be at least partly true...

"Yeah, whatever, poser boy." Raven said, feeling like she was ready for a fight for some reason. Maybe she just missed having Robin and Beast Boy to pummel into mush or something? She had to admit, it _had_ always been mildly entertaining... even if her reasons for doing it had mainly been for stress relief about not getting to be with Starfire on screen like she'd wanted to be and blaming them for it. "You can't call yourselves the Teen Titans anymore. That's us now. Call yourselves something else."

"Like there's any chance of _that_ happening." Nightwing scoffed. "Why don't you go back to sleep and keep _dreaming_?"

Rose shook her head. "So lame."

"Yeah, sorry... if anyone's dreaming here, that would be you, _Nightwing_." Raven told him, narrowing her own eyes. "Our tower, our name, you lose."

"Hmm." Nightwing said. "Well, then, it seems like we've reached an impasse, doesn't it? ...You know there's only one way to settle something like this, don't you?" He asked.

"You don't mean..." Cyborg said.

"Yes!" Nightwing confirmed. "We're going to have... a grudge match!"

"Fine by me." Raven said, an anticipatory smile curling her lips. "Girls?" She asked, teleporting Starfire, Jinx, Terra, and Blackfire to her from the tower.

Starfire and her sister caught themselves by flying. Jinx was agile enough to keep to her feet, but Terra tripped and fell. "Hey!" Jinx scolded Raven indignantly.

"Yeah, save it for later. Its time... for a grudge match!" Raven said.

"Teen Titans? Attack!" Nightwing called the charge.

"Girls? Ditto." Raven said, calling her own charge.

Jinx and Terra watched on as their teammates started to get into a brawl with the boys across from them. "Um, should we help?" Terra asked.

Jinx shrugged. "I don't see why not. It could be fun?" She offered, wiggling her fingers and making Aqualad slip and fall on his butt.

Terra giggled. "Well, I guess it is kind of expected for super heroes, right?" She offered.

"That's the spirit!" Jinx said, zapping the already sparkling arrows (fireworks arrows?) Speedy had shot their way with her magic and making them turn around to chase him.

Terra looked and saw Starfire and her sister trying to tag Kid Flash with their energy blasts. She smirked a little and turned the ground beneath him against him. At the same time, Rose angled one of her swords to glint sunlight in his eyes, the combined effect of which was to make him stumble and tumble end over end until Terra grabbed him and held him in solid stone. He looked dazed and out for the count. "Well, that was easy." She said, even as she looked and saw Speedy's quiver explode and knock him out too.

Rose was dodging Cyborg, but Blackfire, no longer occupied with Kid Flash, noticed and turned on him, growling and launching herself at him. They traded blows for a few moments, but, soon enough, he went flying over Terra's shoulder and hit a brick wall, going down for the count.

Blackfire smirked, dusting off her hands. "No one messes with my girlfriend, losers." She said.

Beast Boy had turned into a T-rex by this point and Jinx was having fun zapping at his feet while Starfire eyebeam zapped him. "Do not think I will go easy on you, just because we were once on the same team, friend Beast Boy. You will _not_ take the Titans Tower away from us. There are too many stuffed animal kittens at stake and you will _not_ make them the homeless!" She said defiantly, flying at him super-fast with two glowing fists in front. As Terra watched, it seemed like the knockout punch went in slow motion. She looked over at Jinx who'd, coincidentally, cast a slow motion spell on the scene.

"It's more dramatic this way." Jinx explained. "The fight's been way too one-sided—we've gotta play up the drama more, or the readers will get bored."

"Oh..." Terra said, nodding. "That makes sense." She agreed as Beast Boy T-rex fell on the ground with an earth-shaking thud.

"I wonder what's going on with Raven and Robin?" Jinx pondered.

The two of them turned and stared. "Um, I guess... he's Nightwing now?" Terra said, as they watched on while Nightwing uselessly fought against Raven, who was just smiling in relaxed amusement as he tried all sorts of martial arts moves, staff strikes, and Batarang throws, all of which she used her magic shadow powers to harmlessly turn aside.

"Give up yet?" Raven asked, smirking as she made a clawed shadow hand materialize from the ground and pull one of his legs out from under him so he fell on his face.

"No... Never!" Nightwing said, tiredly getting to his feet and adopting a fighting stance again.

"You should, you know." Rose said, as she, Blackfire and Starfire came up to stand with Raven. Jinx and Terra looked at each other, Terra shrugged, and they walked over to join the others. "You're the only one left, and that's just because Raven thinks it's fun to torment you." Rose added.

"I agree with her about that, by the way. It's hilarious." Blackfire added unhelpfully, pointing a finger at him and zapping his staff from his hand to clatter to the ground yards away.

Nightwing looked around at his defeated team. He sighed. "Fine." He said. "You win." He admitted, feeling like a loser saying it, but it _was_ kind of obvious. "We'll... We'll pick a new name."

"Um yeah, you might want to go into a new line of work, too, while you're at it." Blackfire added—again, being not at all helpful.

"Hey, can't you go a little easy on him?" Jinx said. "He looks really sad." She offered.

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. Sad." Terra offered, scrambling to show girlfriend support. Really though, Robin was usually kind of an annoying jerk, so she didn't so much feel bad for him.

Blackfire sighed. "Fine." She allowed for the sake of team harmony. She went over and patted Nightwing on the head. "You aren't a complete loser. There, happy?" She asked Jinx.

"Um, yeah, I guess so..." Jinx allowed, shrugging. "Can... we go get the Chinese food now? I'm hungry."

Raven looked at Starfire who nodded that she too was hungry. "Yeah, okay. We can do that." Raven agreed, turning to head back over to Hong-Kong Stir-Fry, which, thankfully, had been left unharmed in all the grudge-matching that had been going on.

"Nightwing! Nightwing!" One of the reports who'd just started to emerge from hiding could be heard asking. "How does it feel to have your first grudge match as a team turn out to be such a crushing, one-sided defeat?"

"Yeah, and who does your hair, by the way? It's fabulous." Another reporter asked, which did actually perk up Nightwing's mood some.

"Well, you see, it's all about the right hair jell, actually." He started to say.

"What are you going to call your team, now that you've agreed to drop the Titans moniker?" Another reporter asked.

"You know, I'm thinking we might try... _Young Justice!_ " Nightwing answered.

* * *

"BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A laugh to end all laughs could be heard out on the bay in Jump City... before a hacking cough and a choke cut it short, that was.

Out on H.I.V.E. Island, the four H.I.V.E. boys had been sitting around the TV, and See-More was at that very moment giving Gizmo CPR because he'd hyperventilated and choked on his popcorn from laughing too much at how badly Robin and his pretty boy loser squad had gotten _owned_ out there.

Mammoth and Billy-Numerous let out sighs of relief as Gizmo coughed up the offending popcorn kernel and sat up, catching his breath. "Damn! People _say_ you can die from laughter, but I never thought that was really a real thing." He said, looking up to see tears falling down Mammoth's cheeks. The boy looked like he was about to break down any second. "Aw, come on big guy, don't be sad. I'm alright, see?" Gizmo said, using his flying rig to float up and kiss him on the cheek.

Mammoth hugged him and Gizmo squirmed from the strength of the hug. Sometimes, he thought, there were serious downsides to having this boy for a boyfriend.

"He does kind of look cool as Nightwing though." Billy Numerous said to See-More.

"Yeah, maybe, but don't tell me that. It's depressing." See-More said.

"Aw, come on. No way is he as hot as you, See-More. No. Way." Billy countered earnestly.

"Yeah, thanks I guess." See-More said, wondering to himself if he really should try a makeover like Robin had after all.

"Hey, check that out." Billy said, hoping to distract See-More from his mentioning Nightwing's new hotness mistake.

See-More went to look. "Hey, yeah. There was totally a crime wave at the same time as the big fight."

"Total genius." Billy said, looking over to See-More. "I wonder why we never thought of doing that?"

Gizmo got red in the cheeks at that. "Hey!" He protested, flying over between his team and the TV. "Stuff like that's strictly bush-league." He told them. "It's a cheap shot. I'd never lower our standards that low." He told them, even though it was a complete lie.

"But... we're the villains. Isn't taking cheap shots kind of what we're supposed to be doing?" See-More asked.

"He's got a point, you know." Billy said.

"Yeah, whatever. Sue me for having a sense of artistic integrity about my job." He told them, blustering his way on through.

* * *

And, back at Titans Tower...

"It's weird how much I was into it, you know?" Raven was saying later as the Titans girls were eating Chinese in a circle in their redecorated living room. They were sitting on pillows around a low table.

"It _was_ very satisfying to smack the Beast Boy down for some reason." Starfire nodded, agreeing with her girlfriend.

"I thought it was fun." Jinx shrugged. "Chaos and mayhem is kind of ma thang." She offered.

"Yeah, I don't know what the big deal is. They were threatening our top billing slot (and Starfire's stuffed animals collection, I guess). Of _course_ we had to beat them down. What else were we supposed to do?" Rose asked.

Raven sighed. "Yeah... I know. I just can't shake the feeling that something weird was going on. The fact that there were all those robberies at the same time as our fight is way too suspicious, if you ask me."

"Oh, you mean like, it was all part of an evil plot, and there's some evil mastermind out there, messing with us from the shadows?" Terra asked, wiggling her fingers to mock illustrate the creepy doom of it all.

"Yeah, maybe, I guess." Raven allowed.

"I don't know." Rose said. "I mean, it had to be only a matter of time before some brain case out there figured out that using one of our fights as cover to steal stuff was an obvious move to make some easy cash, right?" Rose yawned. "You're probably over thinking it too much."

Blackfire smirked. "Seconded." She offered.

A small, goofy smile came to Rose's lips that she quickly hid before kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. "Thanks, babe."

"Whatever." Blackfire countered. "That was pathetic as kisses go, you realize that, right?" She said, looking at Rose a beat before tackling her to the floor and showing her in detail what she expected to receive in the way of a _say thank you_ kiss.

Rose did not mind the lesson—at all.

"Is it the kissing portion of the evening now?" Starfire asked.

Raven looked and saw that Jinx and Terra were making out now too. Raven shrugged. "Apparently so." Raven admitted.

"Joy!" Starfire said, imitating her sister.

Raven laughed as she was tackled and kissed too.

Meanwhile, the remaining apples in the kitchen glowed faintly in the dim light of evening, promising that this might not be the _last_ grudge match our heroes could face this season...

* * *

And so it was the next morning that, on the outskirts of Jump City, Kitten Van Cleer (aka: the mysterious shadowy figure who'd planted the grudge match apples in Titans Tower and Kid Flash's loft) and her girlfriend, Gaea (aka: Mother Nature as a teenage girl, who'd made said grudge match apples with her magic nature powers), closed the deal on a modest size mansion.

A very happy realtor departed the premises and the two set out to lunge by the pool. "Ah, life of luxury? I've missed you." Kitten mused. She wasn't going to say it where her girlfriend could hear, but this beat camping out in the woods all to hell.

"You're so clever." Gaea said fawningly.

"I know, right?" Kitten answered, sitting up and looking over at her new girlfriend/partner in crime. "But, on the other hand, it's not like it was really all that hard though." It had been pretty easy to get her girlfriend to make those apples and to agree to become a thief with her too. She was beginning to think she had a definite aptitude for criminal genius. Who knew? She for _sure_ hadn't gotten it from her dad, the loser.

Gaea looked around. "So, this is where you grew up, then, is it?" She asked in wonder.

"Yeah... I don't want to talk about that now though. Can we just make out for a while?" She asked hopefully.

Gaea smirked a little. "I don't see why not." She allowed, going over to share Kitten's lounge chair with her for a while.

This whole _having a girlfriend_ thing was really nice, Gaea thought to herself. She should have tried it a long time ago...

* * *

 **Next Episode: How Kitten Became An Evil Mastermind**

In our next episode, Kid Flash finds out he's been robbed... and he has a confession to make to his boyfriend (uh-oh!). Also, learn how Kitten and Gaea (Mother Nature) became a couple and decided to be sneaky super villains who use grudge match apples to get what they want. There might be something else in the episode too, I haven't decided what yet...

So many interesting plot developments! Be sure to come back for our next episode to find out what happens next!


	5. How Kitten Became An Evil Mastermind

**Episode 5: How Kitten Became An Evil Mastermind!**

* * *

And now, my fun and dazzling readers, a flashback to sometime last week:

Kitten Van Cleer sighed, her shoulders slumping as she walked. "Being poor sucks!" She whined to herself as she trudged through the woods out behind the group home the state had put her in. She thought wistfully of the mansion with all the servants and the pool and everything that she'd grown up having.

There had been a forest out back, and she'd gone out there to play sometimes when she was younger. So this, at least, felt more familiar.

She found a clearing and sat down on a log to pout and try again to think of a way out of this mess.

Her dad, Killer Moth, had been caught out last month and exposed as the loser he was. She hadn't had a clue he'd been a secret moth guy... and, by the way? Could she just say to that: as far as criminal _themes_ went? Seriously embarrassing. The cops and the feds had come and seized everything, saying they had to investigate where all his _money_ had come from, and how much of it was tied up with his criminal _moth_ empire or whatever. Like he really even had an _empire_ , just a stupid mad scientist lab or something, she was sure. That, and a bunch of _moth_ babies somewhere that he probably loved more than he ever loved _her_.

Her mom had run off years ago and left Kitten with just her dad... Maybe she was scared of him? Maybe she'd just been ashamed to have a daughter with such a nut job? Maybe her mom had been right even—maybe she was a loser too, for being his daughter? ...Then again, maybe her dad had turned her mom into a moth woman or something? She'd never heard from her mom after she'd left after all. And wasn't that just a freaky, _cheerful_ thought? "My life sucks so much..." She muttered.

"Why?" A girl's voice asked.

Kitten looked up and saw a cute girl her own age standing there dressed like a fairy, her hands behind her back, and looking all pretty and sparkly. "Um, because... Wait, who are you supposed to be exactly?" She asked once she'd gotten over the momentary stupidness brought on by looking at her, because this girl was for sure not one of the girls she lived in the group home with. They were all irritating, dirty, poor people that she didn't want to touch, let alone kiss. This girl? Oh, she could totally get behind the idea of making out with _this_ girl.

"My name's Gaea." The girl giggled a little in a flirty way. "What's _your_ name?" She asked.

"Um, Kitten... My name's Kitten." Kitten said, blushing a little because she knew she didn't exactly look her best right now, and this Gaea girl looked... way too perfect.

"Well then, Kitten... why are you so sad?" Gaea (aka: Mother Nature) asked, coming over to sit down next to her on the log. "You can tell me. People say I'm a good listener?" She offered, swallowing back some of her nervousness. She'd been watching this girl for the last few days. She'd stayed and been wandering around the forests around Jump City ever since that whole thing with the Teen Titans she'd gone through a while ago. She'd let that Beast Boy boy convince her to use her powers to remake a whole forest for a while. She'd even been thinking about making similar changes on the rest of the planet, but then she'd realized how annoying the whole idea was, so she'd stopped and kicked the boy out of the forest and banned him and his friends from ever camping again. It had been unsettling. She'd been spying on their island on and off though, she hadn't been sure why. A few days ago, the girls had kicked the boys out and moved in two other girl couples. Now _that_ , she'd thought to herself, was an idea she wanted to try. So, she'd changed herself into a teenage girl (because why not?) and decided to go by Gaea (one of her other names) and go try to find another girl to date. So, here she was.

Kitten sighed. "Short story? My dad was a secret supervillain, but he hid it from me and got caught. The new all-girl Teen Titans are, apparently, more competent than the old version." She smirked. And she did hold a grudge for that, against the boys too—Robin especially—for scaring her with that stupid robot of theirs and wrecking her car. She hated her dad way more though—for getting caught and for other grievances. Not like she'd ever be able to do anything about any of it though, she knew. She did _not_ want to end up in jail with her dad, that was for sure. "So, the cops came and kicked me out of my mansion and sent me to the poor house to live with a bunch of unattractive dirty people. My roommate's fat, and she hates me. I so wish I could be rich again."

"And you can't?" Gaea asked, curious. "Be rich again, I mean?"

"Well... I did try robbing a bank once. It worked and all, but there was this giant robot that almost stepped on me... It was scary. I'm kind of scared to try it again." She admitted, feeling a little ashamed of herself for being a coward about it.

"Well... Maybe I could help, then?" Gaea offered. "I'm pretty sure I could beat up a giant robot if I needed to." She considered.

"...Yeah? Like, really? You um, you've got super powers?" Kitten asked, hopeful.

Gaea shrugged. "Mega super powers." She admitted.

Kitten began to think, her mind going all sorts of places. If this girl was telling her the truth, then all she'd need to do would be seduce her, get her definitely on her side... It shouldn't be hard. It wasn't hard to tell Gaea was into her, and no way would it be a bad thing to have a girlfriend as hot as her to play with whenever she wanted... One thing though. "Okay, so, what _kind_ of super powers, exactly?" Kitten asked, looking at Gaea with speculative interest. She had to make sure she wasn't just being lied to or something, after all.

"Oh, a lot of them, I guess." Gaea pointed at a rock a little ways across the field and a bolt of lightning struck it from out of the clear blue sky. She then twirled her finger around in a circle and the fire turned into a small tornado of flames before bursting in a show of sparking fireworks. Next, she snapped her fingers and a tree grew up on the spot, grew as tall as any of the others in the woods. Gaea looked over to Kitten then, and saw the other girl looking at the tree with open wonder. Gaea smirked, feeling confident now that she'd won herself a girlfriend for sure. She looked at Kitten's lips and thought lusty things about how nice it would be to kiss them soon. "So, what do you think?" She asked.

Kitten swallowed. "Wow..." She said, looking over at Gaea with new respect. "I think I say hell yeah. Let's go get rich."

Gaea smiled. "We... could also do other things?" She offered. "Like... we could kiss, maybe?" She asked, hopeful.

Kitten smirked. _So_ easy. She got a confident, seductive look in her eyes. If there was one thing she was definitely good at, it was getting a girl to fall for her. "Yeah... I think we could definitely to that..." She said, moving in and touching Gaea's hand, sliding her fingers up her arm, even as she moved in more and touched her bangs with her other hand. Gaea just looked at her, swallowing and seeming fluttery and nervous. Kitten smirked again, totally turned on. She moved in and kissed this girl, sweetly at first, and, sure enough, Gaea melted for her. She pressed in, deepening the kiss, kissing her thoroughly for long, long minutes...

When Kitten finally stopped and backed away a few breaths, Gaea felt flush all over and meeped. "...I love you..." She told her impetuously, stroking her hair and looking at her lips, entranced with wondering how those lips had possibly made her feel so good. She'd... never kissed anyone before, not in all the billions of years she'd been alive. Why not, she wondered? Oh, sure, part of it was that it was only recently that she'd thought to try looking like a human, but, really, that was no good excuse. _I'm so stupid sometimes..._ she thought to herself, moving in so she could kiss Kitten's lips again.

"Ah-ah." Kitten said, knowing that playing a little hard to get right now would be just the thing to make sure this girl was hooked. "Time enough for that later. For now... wouldn't you like it if I took you out on a date first?" She asked.

Gaea swallowed and nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely..." She said, heart beating fast with eager anticipation.

Kitten smiled, putting just a hint of shyness in it for effect. Inside though, she was already daydreaming about making out with this girl on a queen-sized bed, back in her mansion where she belonged. If she worked it right, she considered, she could even get revenge on the Titans without them ever being any the wiser. No way was she going to be as stupid as her dad was, dressing up as a moth man and flitting around saying _I am Killer Moth—fear me! Tremble before my army of moth monsters!_ Sheesh! He'd been practically _begging_ for a jail cell, hadn't he? _So_ embarrassing.

No, she was going to be _smart_ about this.

* * *

And, now that the flashback's over, lets check in on Nightwing and his boyfriend... and his sidekicks... and, what, his minions now apparently?

The six Teen Titans Young Justice boys dragged themselves into Kid Flash's swanky, spacious uptown loft apartment. The killer view did little to lift their spirits though. "We got beat like a bunch of _chumps_ , yo." Beast Boy complained, throwing his self down on a couch. "It's humiliatin!"

"You say that like we really had a chance of _winning_." Speedy said.

"Hey!" Beast Boy said. "We got skills. You don't know. Coulda easily gone the other way."

Aqualad scoffed. "Right."

"From a tactical standpoint, we were rather overmatched, I have to admit." Cyborg said in that faux high-class way of talking he affected sometimes. It was true though. Starfire and Blackfire had super strength, flight, and solar powered energy blasts. Terra could control the ground beneath their feet. Jinx could make them unlucky and cause general unpredictable chaos. Ravager had been trained by Slade to be a killer, she used swords and didn't have much restraint about it. And Raven, she had enough magic powers to probably conquer the world if she ever went full out demon—maybe even the whole dimension, if you believed all the hype about her dad. By comparison, they were hot stuff against a guy like Cinderblock, sure, but it didn't take a genius to figure that, against the Titans girls, they'd lose like chumps. Which, duh, is just what had happened. He didn't think that made them losers though, not really. It just hadn't been a fair fight, that was all... _Riiiight_.

Nightwing groaned. "Whatever. It's over, can we just move on already?" He pleaded, not really wanting to overthink this too much.

"Sure poser, whatever you want." Speedy mocked.

Nightwing turned on him with a growl. "Do you want a go at me, minion? Is that what you're saying here?"

"Minion?" Aqualad said, looking at Nightwing like he had a screw loose... which, yeah, that was a possibility, he had to admit.

"Yeah, don't you get it, Garth?" Speedy said (using Aqualad's real name). "Poser boy here has a _Napoleon_ complex. Oh, he tries to hide it, sure, but he's really just a tin-pot dictator with height issues in disguise."

Nightwing gritted his teeth. "That's it! Training room! Now!" He challenged.

"Oh, I am going to enjoy this." Speedy smirked. Sure, he was ragged, but, he figured, so was poser boy, and, on an equal playing field, he had faith in his ability to kick butt. Was past time, really, in his estimation.

The two boys marched off, Aqualad following along for obvious boyfriend support reasons.

Kid Flash though, wasn't so much into that sort of thing and wanted to drown his embarrassment and humiliation in high-calorie ice cream and cookies. He had a fast metabolism, after all, which did give him certain junk food consumption advantages over the rest of the slow populace. He looked over to the kitchen and saw Beat Boy and Cyborg were already there though, making sandwiches and chocolate shakes. He stopped and considered. He should be annoyed, but, oddly enough, he smiled to himself, it was actually kind of nice to have other people around. Even if they were clowns. He looked around the place, thinking how much more of a home this felt like now. His eyes stopped though, looking where a gold statue of an Egyptian god whose name escaped him at the moment used to be.

Quickly, he looked around the place and noticed paintings and other valuables gone. His eyes widened and he, affecting a causal air, walked out of the room to go check on his secret room. He opened the door and stared. Empty... "I've been robbed." He said in a small, incredulous voice, sinking to his knees.

"Dude, I didn't know this room was here." Cyborg said conversationally, walking up next to him while eating a monster-sized sandwich as Beast Boy walked past them and entered the room to look around.

"Yeah, but why's it empty? We could, I don't know, put in a sauna or something. Get some of that good relaxation _therapy_ going on, am I right?" Beast Boy asked, looking back to the other two boys. "Dude, why you on the floor looking all angsty like that?" He questioned Kid Flash.

Kid Flash quickly got to his feet and cleared his throat. "Um, nothing. Just... exhausted from the fight, that's all." He said.

"Well, get some rest guy." Cyborg patted him on the back. "We can talk sauna possibilities some other time." He said, leading Kid Flash away from the secret room.

A few minutes later Kid Flash was on the couch, next to Beast Boy and Cyborg, watching the news while he drowned his sorrows in double chocolate mocha chip ice cream and Orios. Apparently, five other places besides here had been robbed, including a bank and a jewelry exchange, all while they'd been involved in their ill-fated grudge match. It was one hell of a coincidence that his place was one of them though, right?

Nightwing walked in then, staff balanced over his shoulder blades, looking smug. "Hey everybody, congratulate me on my victory!" He said.

Aqualad clenched his fists and resisted the compulsion to tackle Nightwing and pummel him. Oh, he really wanted to. So _smug_!

Cyborg and Beast Boy gave half-hearted, clearly only obligatory congratulations (only because they basically didn't want Nightwing to throw a Robin tantrum). Kid Flash barely noticed though, lost in thought. "Hey boyfriend, weren't you paying attention? I just totally _humiliated_ Speedy over there. Don't you think that earns me some love?" He asked.

Kid Flash blinked out of his thoughts. "Oh, yeah, love you and all that. Listen... can we talk somewhere... you know, private?" He asked.

"Yeah, go with him. I so don't want to know what you two get up to behind closed doors, am I right?" Cyborg asked.

"So right." Aqualad agreed.

"Um, right, okay?" Nightwing agreed, letting his boyfriend lead him out of the room, and towards the secret room. As Nightwing went, he looked around. "Say, I didn't notice before, but weren't there more paintings in this room when we left?" He asked as he was hurried off into the room, Kid Flash closing the door behind him as soon as they were in.

"Yeah... That's um, kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." He said, looking around and feeling awkward about all of this. But, Nightwing was his boyfriend now, right? You talked about this kind of stuff with your boyfriend, and he'd have your back, right?

Nightwing looked around the place. "A secret room?" He asked. "An _empty_ secret room?" He looked at his boyfriend, going serious. "Wally, hey... level with me. Were you robbed?" He asked, using Kid Flash's real name. Wally West.

"Yeah, I kind of really was." Kid Flash confessed.

Nightwing looked around, pacing a few paces. "What kind of stuff did you have in here, anyway?" He asked.

"Yeah... about that. You've got my back, right? I mean, you're my boyfriend now... and I can tell you stuff, and you'll have my back, no matter what, right?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course. You know that." Nightwing said, going over to hold his hands and gaze into his eyes. Because, really, it's not like he had all that much _else_ going for him in life, right? And, yeah... he was pretty sure he was, you know, in love too. Not that he'd quite said it yet. "What's going on?" He asked in a deep, meaningful, sexy voice that he'd somehow gotten the knack of ever since he'd become Nightwing.

Kid Flash actually blushed a little. _Damn my boyfriend's hot_ , he thought to himself with a little of a smug smile. He quickly sobered though. "Well, the thing is, all this? The fancy apartment, my summer place in Keystone City...? A certain villa I own in Cancun...? Well, you know, being a handsome, dashing superhero who's adored by the masses doesn't generally pay all that well."

"Tell me about it." Nightwing agreed.

"I mean, sure, I make some money from licensing and doing some advertising spots, but that all goes to charity. For the image, you know?" He questioned.

"Makes sense." Nightwing nodded, seeing the point.

"Well, so I sort of hit on this idea at one point, to, um, _supplement_ my income. So I'd have the time to devote myself to being a hero full time. The greater good, right?" He prevaricated.

"Wally, just tell me what you're going to tell me, okay?" Nightwing asked, getting a bad feeling about this.

"Yeah, that's... Okay, so, you know how all these villain types always have great cash flow and everything? I guess I just figured, why let them keep it?" He ventured.

"Oh, so you've been robbing super-villains?" Nightwing said, relieved. "A morally gray area, to be sure, but I don't have a problem with it." He had to admit. After all, he understood that not every boy was lucky enough to be adopted by some weird rich dude who liked to dress up as a bat and beat up clowns and all. _Clowns_ , he shivered a little, remembering some of the bad times.

"Yeah... It kind of started out that way." Kid Flash admitted.

"...What are you saying, exactly?" Nightwing asked.

"Well, you know, rich people, what are they really _doing_ with all that money they have anyway?" The same thing he was doing, really—living it up. But, to his way of thinking, it was either them or him, and, if that was the choice, he was going to pick him.

Nightwing let out a breath. "Wally, you know that's wrong, right?"

"Yeah, but why, really?" He asked. "I mean, what have they done to earn it more than I have? I save, like, hundreds of lives in a _day_ sometimes. You know that tsunami that hit Taiwan last month? No one died when it hit because of me, not even a house pet. What's that worth compared to, I don't know, selling _cigarettes_ or something?"

"Not much, admittedly..." Nightwing said, pondering it seriously. "And this _is_ a seriously kickass apartment." He allowed, nodding to himself. "Alright." He finally said, positively. "Consider me on board."

"Yeah? Seriously?" Kid Flash asked.

Nightwing shrugged. "Sure, why not? You made good arguments, and, like you said, you're my boyfriend. I kind of have to take your side anyway, right?" He asked.

"Yeah... yeah, I guess so." Kid Flash said, feeling a little teary actually as he stepped into him and they kissed deeply and long.

"So, um..." Nightwing said, blushing a few long minutes later. "Who, um, who do you think was behind all this? Who knew all this stuff was here?" He asked his boyfriend.

* * *

Terra looked on as H.I.V.E. Island got steadily closer. She was a little nervous, even though she was trying not to let that show through to the girl who was sitting on the rock next to her. Terra had her arm around Jinx's shoulder as she flew them low across the water on a slab of rock, Jinx snuggled up to her as they both watched the view.

Sometimes, Terra reflected, having the powers she had was just... really amazing. Normal girls could sit on the edge of a cliff with their girlfriend and watch the water, but how many of them could fly the cliff over the water like Harry Potter with Buckbeak the hippogriff while they did it? It took her breath away a little just at the moment—not only the view, but the girl next to her... She'd never had a steady girlfriend before. She'd never really had that kind of life... until now at least, she guessed.

Part of her was still worried she'd do something wrong, or something would happen to mess it all up... She thought that Jinx would probably stick with her if that happened. Still, she didn't want to put that to the test, and she didn't want her new life to change either. She _liked_ living at Titans Tower and being a Teen Titan—loved it, really... Even she and Raven seemed like they were starting to be actual _friends_ by this point, and _no way_ had she thought that would ever happen...

Now here she was, going to meet Jinx's brother for the first time. Well, the first time in person anyway. She and Jinx had talked to him and the other H.I.V.E. guys by video chat in their room a few times so far, and she'd decided she liked them... well, maybe except for Gizmo. His voice was really kind of annoying, you know? And he used his voice kind of a lot... Not that she'd told Jinx that—those guys were kind of like her family. Mammoth definitely was at any rate, and Gizmo was his boyfriend, so it would be really awkward if she said _wow, you're brother has a really annoying boyfriend who's... really tiny, and how's that work by the way?_ Not that... she really wanted to have it _explained_ to her, because, yeah? No, she did not.

"Almost there..." Terra said.

"Mm-hmm." Jinx said, kind of sounding dreamy. "Terra?" She asked, sitting up straight enough that she could look into Terra's eyes.

"Yeah?" Terra asked, curious, looking back into Jinx's eyes. It seemed like such an intimate moment for some reason, and her nervousness fled in the face of that somehow, which she was happy and relieved about.

Jinx quirked a smile. "I just wanted to tell you, you know, in case I haven't said it to you before?" She told her, moving forward and giving her a brief kiss, sweet and heartfelt, before meeting her gaze again. "You're probably, like, the best girl to date in the history of the world. At least, I think so." She told her. Because it was true. Terra was super romantic, and so genuine. Jinx thought Terra had melted her heart from the first time they'd kissed, and she was pretty sure it had stayed in a happy puddle state ever since.

Terra felt her cheeks heat a little. "I am, huh?" She asked, feeling a little shy, but... in a good way.

"Yeah, you are." Jinx affirmed, snuggling back up to her as they came in closer to the island.

* * *

"I don't know, I kind of get the feeling she doesn't really like me that much." Gizmo said, sulking a little, sitting around the coffee table in the H.I.V.E. Island livingroom. Billy-Numerous and See-More were sitting around it with him. His boyfriend, Mammoth, was in the kitchen and had firmly banned all three of them from entering or interrupting his genius in any way. One thing Gizmo had learned that you did not mess with was his boyfriend's _chef time_.

"I don't think she does, really." Billy-Numerous said, feeling like it kind of did have to be said.

See-More nodded when Gizmo looked to him. "Yeah, sorry man, but it is kind of obvious." He had to admit, even though he wished he didn't have to say so. His eye caught on one of Billy's doubles as he dusted and he was momentarily distracted by his buns swaying to and fro.

Billy leaned over and whispered. "You're totally checking out my butt right now, aren't you?"

See-More felt his face redden a little. "So what if I am? I'm allowed." He protested.

"Oh, I know." Billy said, feeling a little smug that he'd gotten See-More to blush that way. He had twelve of his other selves spread around the compound tidying up the place. They had company coming, after all. They had to make a good impression, for Jinx's sake. It hadn't been as much fun around here since she'd left to hook up with that Terra girl. Gizmo had had the idea that they could convince Terra to join up with them, and they'd get Jinx back that way. It's what they'd been talking about just now, as a matter of fact. Except, Gizmo was worried that Terra didn't like him.

"Why though? I mean, I've never met the girl. You know, except when we've talked to her those times. I don't get it." Gizmo complained.

"She probably thinks you're annoying." Billy said, having that _gotta say it_ feeling again. He got those sometimes.

"Annoying?" Gizmo protested. "Who? Me?"

"...It's probably just that she could tell you were trying to sales pitch her. Some people don't like that kind of thing. Its why door-to-door salesmen get punched sometimes." See-More explained.

"I had Mammoth do that _one time_." Gizmo said, but he knew he'd never live it down _now_. He could kind of see their point though, now that they put it that way. "Yeah... okay, I guess I can see that." He admitted. "So... What do I do? How do I get her to like me?" He asked.

"Well, it's a big cliche, but you could try just being yourself?" See-More offered.

"Myself, huh?" Gizmo thought about it. "Yeah... You're right." He said.

At that moment, the doorbell rang and there was a commotion from the kitchen. A few moments later, a pleading Mammoth poked his head out. "Stall." He begged.

Obviously, he needed more time to finish his cheffing. "Don't worry, big guy. We got this." Gizmo reassured him. "Come on guys. Let's go make a good impression." He instructed, rubbing his hands together in anticipation and going to answer the door.

See-More looked to Billy. "He totally doesn't get it, does he?"

"Um, well... I kind of think this _is_ Gizmo being himself." Billy shrugged.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I hadn't thought of that." See-More admitted as they followed along to go greet Jinx and Terra.

* * *

 **Next Episode: New Teen Titans Go vs The Date Night Invasion!**

In our next show... Sisterly secrets revealed! Drama turned on its head, for the purposes of providing a quick laugh! Young Justice, just out of the gate, suffers a startling setback! Is Mammoth really such a great cook? Yes, dear hungry readers—as it turns out, he is! It's the H.I.V.E.'s insidious wood burning pizza oven, vs (underdogs in the fight) Salad Boy and the Meatball Marauder! Do they even stand a chance? Stick around and find out!

Oh... and there might also be spaceships showing up at some point or something. It'll be fun!


	6. vs The Date Night Invasion!

**Episode 6: New Teen Titans Go vs. The Date Night Invasion!**

* * *

Nightwing sat on the edge of his boyfriend's second floor interior balcony and watched Speedy and Aqualad leave. Aqualad paused and looked around, looked up to meet his eyes a moment in resentful accusation, then followed his boyfriend out.

"Well, so much for that, I guess..." Nightwing said, admitting to himself at last that, okay, yes, he might have gone a little too far with the whole _minions_ things.

"Hey, don't sweat it, they were kind of dead weight anyway, and we've still got Salad Boy and The Meatball Marauder over there, right?" Kid Flash said, sitting down beside him and looking down at Beast Boy and Cyborg, who were holding each other and sobbing downstairs, sad that the other two boys were going.

"Meatball Marauder?" Nightwing asked, smiling a little, despite the facts that he'd lost a super-hero grudge match, found out his boyfriend was a thief, and managed to get two of his new Young Justice team to quit on him before they'd had the name for more than a _day_.

"Well, yeah." Kid Flash said, thinking his boyfriend could be really slow sometimes. "You do remember the part where he shouted _Meatball Party!_ yesterday, turned his arms into meatball guns, and gave my maid service something new and special to test their maid skills against, don't you?"

"Oh, right, that." Nightwing smirked. "They're... kind of an acquired taste. I get that." He admitted.

Kid Flash leaned against his boyfriend. "Yeah, well..."

Nightwing turned to him. "You like them, don't you?" He accused, smirking a little because he realized it was true. "You acquired the Cyborg and Beast Boy taste, admit it."

Kid Flash shrugged. "Eh, maybe. So what?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing. It's just... that's so precious. I'm feeling a little choked up, is all." He teased him.

Kid Flash punched him in the arm. "Oh, shut up." He told him, smirking.

"Ow." Nightwing said, rubbing his shoulder. "Domestic abuse much?"

"Yeah, whatever." Kid Flash said.

* * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Blackfire told her sister as she and Rose, along with her sister and Raven, entered the Happy Times Amusement Park on the outskirts of Jump City. And yeah, it was pretty much exactly what that sounded like: a double date. Still, somehow, when Starfire had come to her all perky and excited, _somehow_ Blackfire had found the words _yeah, okay... I guess we could do that_ coming out of her lips. She still wasn't sure what she'd been thinking.

"Yeah, I was kind of surprised about that too, to tell you the truth." Raven said.

"Well, I think it is wonderful." Starfire said, taking her sister's hands in hers. "In fact... I want you to know how very much it means to me that we have become true sisters once again." She looked down. "Even after you betrayed me repeatedly before, causing me to suffer for your own amusement, I still missed you, every day."

Blackfire felt her heart break a little at those words, and it annoyed her greatly. So did the guilt. She didn't usually feel guilty. Why now? "Um, well... I um, I promise I won't, um... I won't do that again, okay?" She found herself saying, even though she wasn't quite sure why.

Starfire sniffled and tears ran down her cheeks. "Oh, sister..." She whispered, crushing Blackfire in a hug.

Blackfire stiffened, startled, more by the fact that she didn't want to push Starfire away than anything. Nonetheless though, she found herself slowly relaxing and holding her sister in return. She closed her eyes and felt... lighter somehow. "Sister..." She found herself saying, emotion welling up. She'd kind of blocked it out until now, mostly, but she did remember when they were young and they'd been close like this... Why had they stopped? Oh, yeah, she remembered. It had all been about a girl. About stupid Oleand'r... and it had just kind of gone on and on from there, hadn't it?

"Aw, that's kind of really sweet, you know?" Rose said.

Raven looked at her. "You've changed." She said, not exactly accusingly. It was true though. Previously to Blackfire, Rose would never have willingly risked her cool points to say anything like that.

"Yeah, well, whatever, okay." Rose said.

Raven smirked. "That's more like it." She teased.

Rose shoved her playfully.

The sister hug ended then. "Um, okay, so... that happened." Blackfire said, feeling self-conscious about it and kind of not wanting to think about it anymore. "Let's um, let's go buy the tickets now, okay?"

Starfire smiled happily. "It is very of the okay." She said.

"...Right." Blackfire agreed, turning to go take Rose's hand in hers. "Um, come on then." She said, awkwardly pulling her girlfriend along with her towards the park entrance.

"You know, I think she was actually being sincere?" Raven said to Starfire.

"I know. I think Rose is turning out to be the very good for her, do you not think so?" Starfire asked as she took Raven's hand and they followed along.

"Yeah... I guess love changes you, doesn't it?" Raven agreed softly.

* * *

"This is so good." Terra murmured in blissful enjoyment as she took another bite of Mammoth Pizza. "It's like, this has got to be the best pizza ever invented or something." She said. Mammoth Pizza was pizza made by Mammoth, Jinx's brother, in the H.I.V.E.'s state of the art wood-burning pizza oven. It was also named that because the pizza was mammoth _sized_ : twice as big and tall as a regular pizza!

"I know, right?" Jinx agreed. "My brother is a pizza _genius_." She gushed, always happy when other people saw her brother's many good qualities. Not everyone did. It was part of why they'd both ended up here, living a life of crime. H.I.V.E. might be crooks and all, but they'd always treated her and her brother like family (the good kind, not the bad kind), and that counted for a lot in her book... She still missed it, really: being here? She did. Not that she wasn't happy being a Teen Titan of course, she really truly was. She was happier than she'd ever been in her entire life, in fact, and that was mostly because of Terra, and the other Titan girls too (she liked having girl friends, it turned out, almost as much as she liked having a girlfriend)... It was just, she missed having her brother close sometimes, that's all. For pizza reasons, as well as for the more typical brotherly reasons. She was just grateful Terra and the others were okay with her staying in touch and going for visits like this, given the life of crime of it all.

"Mm-hmm." Terra nodded in wholehearted agreement, looking to Mammoth. "My complements to the chef."

"Thanks..." Mammoth said. "I'm glad you like it." You couldn't tell to look at him, or by the way he spoke, but Jinx knew her brother well enough to easily detect the bashful shyness in his gravelly voice. The warmth was easy to see though, if anyone bothered to look.

"Who does the cooking over where you live?" Gizmo spoke up then.

"I do, mostly." Jinx answered, looking to her brother. "You'd be proud of me, I think." She quirked a smile to him. He'd given her lessons sometimes. She'd been the only one of the team he'd let in the kitchen with him, and he'd taught her a lot. It'd been their brother-sister bonding time. She thought about mentioning that Terra had taken to being her chef's assistant now, but she didn't want to make Mammoth feel like he'd been kitchen replaced. He tended to have a thin skin where his chefing was concerned, after all. She knew that. "Rose likes to make breakfast sometimes though. Other than that, Raven and Starfire order delivery or get takeout."

"Ohh. Ouch." Gizmo said, looking at his boyfriend who looked like he might just want to go out and punch a pizza delivery van on principal. You did not order delivery or bring in takeout on H.I.V.E. Island. It just wasn't done.

"They should feed you right." Mammoth grumbled, disgruntled.

"You mean, you cook for these guys every meal?" Terra asked.

"Oh, he does." Jinx confided.

"That's impressive." Terra complemented, meaning it. She knew what it was like to live without a place to call home or any guarantee of a next meal. She knew from talking with her girlfriend that Jinx and Mammoth had had times like that too, growing up. So she kind of got where Mammoth was coming from, and that cooking was how he showed he cared.

"That's what I always say." Gizmo said. Terra gave him a genuinely appreciative smile for that, and he felt more optimistic about winning her over. It might take a while, but he thought he had a shot at it.

* * *

And, back at Happy Times Amusement Park, as it just so happened (plot twist!) Cyborg and Beast Boy were visiting that day too. They were sitting at a table by the pizza place in the food bazaar, commiserating on the vagaries of fate as it pertained to their recently nomadic lifestyle and the panorama of characters arriving and departing from their lives.

"At least we'll always have Robin, right?" Beast Boy said. "And we'll always have pizza!" He munched his vegan pizza happily. Jump City didn't used to have vegan pizza, but ever since he'd turned into a giant green gorilla and party crashed the forty-second annual Jump City And The Surrounding Areas Pizza Shop Owner's Convention and protested the unfair discrimination against vegan gorillas which that oversight implied, most of the local pizza shops had strangely decided it was in their best interests to change their ways and add vegan to their menus.

"Yeah, you're right..." Cyborg said positively, taking an optimistic bite of the meat lovers with everything he'd ordered for himself. He chewed, he considered, he swished his tongue to-and-fro so his refined pallet could take in the full varietal bouquet of the pizza he'd just sampled... "...It's just not the same!" He wailed, dejected and braking down into sobs. "I miss that wood burning pizza oven, Beast Boy—I miss it so mu-u-uch..." He moaned.

"I know, brah, I know..." Beast Boy admitted sadly. "I miss that wood burning pizza oven too. It was... like family..."

"It was! It really was... And Mammoth? Who knew such a brutish, unrefined exterior could hide the artistry and soul of such an extraordinary master chef? I was in awe... in awe, I say!" He started to sob again. He picked up the slice of pizza again and regarded it sourly. "By comparison, all other pizza just seems inferior, don't you find?" He asked haughtily, tearing off half of the slice with his mouth and munching it down with the greed and fervor of a hungry hyena, then scarfing the rest of it in short order. "I'm so depressed." He said, picking up another slice and trying to drown his sorrows in pepperoni and cheese, only marginally above mediocre in quality as it might be.

Beast Boy sighed. "Yeah, we lost so much lately. First Titans Tower, then that sweet setup on H.I.V.E. Island, and now Aqualad and Speedy left because Robin couldn't stop being all annoying and, well, his self. At this rate, _Nightwing's_ probably gonna Robin things up with Kid Flash too and we'll end up homeless peoples again. And look at all this:" He prompted, indicating his beautiful self with hand gestures. "Does this fine specimen of beastly boyosity look like the kind of dude belongs sharing a dumpster with Sticky Joe?"

"No, no he does not." Cyborg affirmed, getting into the outrage. "And does this fine metal chassis with the heart of a lion and the soul of a poet look like the kind of dude who belongs there livin' in that dumpster right along next to you?"

"Hell nos!" Beast Boy shook his head in denial.

"So, what're we going to do about it then?" Cyborg asked.

Beast Boy got a sly look on his face. "That, boyfriend a'mine, is precisely why we find ourselves here today." He said, rubbing his hands together.

Cyborg narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. "Okay, now that's jus freaky's what that is." He told his boyfriend about the nefarious seeming hand rubbing. "Don't ever do that."

Beast Boy let out a breath. "Yeah, it didn't feel right to me neithers." Ne admitted. "I don't normally get to do the sneaky planning thing though, so I thought I'd try'n roll with it."

"You've got a sneaky plan?" Cyborg asked.

"Indeed I do." Beast Boy said proudly. "...Well, okay, so Kid Flash came up with it, but we agreed we won't talk about that... at least, not when Robin's around."

"Well... Robin's not around right now..." Cyborg lead.

"Indeed he ain't." Beast Boy agreed. "But those two guys are." He flicked his fingers to indicate over Cyborg's shoulder.

Cyborg turned and saw Aqualad and Speedy walking hand in hand, clearly on a date. "Ohhh..." Cyborg was catching on.

"Come on, let's go chat some fellas up!" Beast Boy said, hopping up to his feet.

Across the way, Speedy was still kind of brooding inside, but he was trying not to let it show. His boyfriend was trying to cheer him up with the whole amusement park thing, he wasn't about to be a douche and spoil that. He, um... also wasn't going to ever admit that he'd lost the sparring match with Nightwing because the other boy'd smiled that surprisingly heart-stopping devil-may-care smile he had at the wrong moment and it'd made him momentarily stupid, letting Nightwing sweep his legs with that staff of his he was always carrying around and fondling when he thought no one was looking. That Nightwing outfit had... some kind of hot boy magic to it or something. That was the only explanation, really. As Robin, no way could he have tripped him up like that. No. Way.

"I can tell you're still thinking about it, you know?" Aqualad said in that toe-curlingly seductive voice of his.

Speedy winced internally at being caught out. "Yeah... I bet you can. Sorry about that. I am trying." He told his boyfriend, the two of them stopping to look into each other's eyes.

Aqualad quirked a fond smile at that. "Hey, it's okay... I get it. I'm not mad... I was thinking, in fact: maybe we should go east? I've got a standing spot on the roster with Titans East. I'm sure they'd be ecstatic if you wanted to join too?"

"Yeah?" Speedy asked, a reluctant smile coming to his lips. "That... might be nice." He offered.

"Yeah, and, you know... Batgirl's _way_ less of a hassle as a leader. She's really got it together, you know?" Aqualad offered.

"Oh, yeah?" Speedy asked. "Why'd you join up with Robin's outfit then?"

"Why'd you?" Aqualad asked. He'd kind of been too busy trying to talk Speedy out of his clothes to bother with asking questions like that when they'd first met. But, hey, he was a player, he didn't really have a problem with that about himself.

"Money." Speedy told him honestly. "I was... The place I was living had more cockroaches than good taste, if you get my drift. I always thought it was more important to do good in the world, you know? But, I guess Kid Flash managed to convince me I could do even more as part of a team, and live in a decent place while I was at it. It was a good pitch, and it made sense, so I said yes."

Aqualad nodded. "Yeah, I can see that. You're... um, you're really selfless. I um, I like that about you, you know?" He offered, running a hand through Speedy's bangs.

"Yeah?" Speedy asked.

"Definitely." Aqualad confirmed. It was true, too. Being with Speedy like he'd been recently? It really did make him want to be better, try harder at being a hero. When you saw someone put everything they had into something like that, into trying to make the world a better place, you'd have to have a heart of stone not to feel inspired. It was also damned attractive in a boy, he was finding.

"So, um... Why'd _you_ join, then? I mean, I know it couldn't have been about the money. You've got all that shipwreck salvage money, right?" Speedy asked, swallowing a little at how close his boyfriend was at the moment. Were they about to kiss? Damn, he hoped so.

"Oh," Aqualad smirked a little at that. "That's easy. I joined because there was a certain hot boy already on the team that I thought might just be worth my time to get to know..." He said, moving in closer still. "You, if you hadn't guessed." He clarified, going in for the kiss.

Speedy's heart raced at the contact, and he pulled Aqualad in closer to him, savoring the kiss and letting the good feelings grow inside. He heard himself moan a little, in fact, and he reflected to himself that Aqualad had an even better smirk than Nightwing had. Next time... Next time, he was totally going to punch that tin-pot former Robin dictator in the face.

Their kiss was just parting, when they were rudely interrupted. "He-hem." Cyborg cleared his throat. "Sorry to interrupt." He said, smirking knowingly.

"Cyborg?" Speedy asked. "Beast Boy?" He added, noticing Cyborg's shorter boyfriend by his side. "What are you two doing here?"

"Yeah, we's here because I think we need to talk out a few things." Beast Boy explained.

* * *

See-More and Billy Numerous were on the roof of one of the H.I.V.E. Island towers. Billy and See-More had left early after lunch was over to give Mammoth and Jinx some sibling time while Gizmo gave Terra the dime tour of their base in a transparent attempt at recruiting. To his credit though, he hadn't tried the hard sell.

Billy'd gotten the idea to bring his boyfriend up here to put the moves on him a little. The view was really romantic, being out here under to open air with the world seeming to stretch out before them like it did.

Down below, Jinx and Terra were leaving the same way they'd come. Gizmo and Mammoth were downstairs watching Samurai Chef on the big screen together.

Billy turned to his boyfriend then. "Hey..." He said.

See-More turned to meet his gaze. "Yeah?" See-More asked.

"Oh, you know. Nothing." He said, moving in for the kiss.

Their arms came around each other in an embrace, See-More automatically responding to the moves. One of See-More's hands even cupped his butt, and Billy groaned a little when his butt cheek was squeezed lightly.

The kiss broke then, but Billy was ready for more.

"You know, I think I like nothing." See-More said, quirking a happy smile and touching his boyfriend's face. Something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye though, and he turned in Billy's embrace to look up. And, uh-huh... sure enough, there were three space ships heading their way, on route to Jump City. "What in the heck..." Was all he had time to say, really, as a three-eyes, shaggy haired, flying purple dragon-panther thing with wings and a tail, being ridden by a teenage girl, swooped down and caught them both in a net, promptly flying off with them as their captives.

Down below, Billy (one of the other Billys) came out of the door on the roof, bringing a big beanbag chair that he'd been planning to use as a make-out seat (you know, for the moves).

"Wait... That's not right..." He found himself saying, watching his boyfriend and the other Billy being carried off.

"Okay, what just happened?" Jinx asked, jumping down to the roof from Terra's flying rock to land beside Billy. They'd seen the space ships coming and headed up to investigate. They'd been in time to see the abduction happen, but not in time to do anything to stop it.

"Um, well, it seems like aliens just kidnapped my boyfriend, and, you know... also me apparently?" Billy explained, still kind of caught flat-footed. Sure, See-More liked to follow alien abduction stories as a hobby, and Billy'd always indulged him his beliefs, but he'd never thought it would actually happen to _them_.

"Then hop on. We're going after them." Terra said, offering Jinx a hand back up.

Terra brought the rock around and held out a hand for Billy to grab next. He took it and got up on the rock and the three of them sped off through the sky, on a rescue mission.

One thing was for sure, Billy thought: he was never going to doubt See-More's alien beliefs ever again...

* * *

Around two hours into their park visit, Raven, Starfire, Rose, and Blackfire were lounging by the pool in the water park. Happy Times had all the regular rides—roller coaster, Ferris wheel, tea cups, bumper cars, etc—but it also had a water park section... and a petting zoo and food bazaar too.

They'd just gone on the water slides a bunch of times and they were doing the relaxing by the pool thing now.

Raven had her eyes closed while Starfire applied sunblock. She didn't actually need it or anything—with her complexion, she could lay out in the sun all day long without it and never burn or get a tan (she knew that because she'd tried it a few times, just to see what would happen). So, yeah, it was a complete ruse on her part, but Starfire's hands just felt really... really, really nice on her. She supposed she should feel a little guilty for it, but she didn't.

Starfire's hands stilled minutes later though, after she'd finished diligently rubbing in all the lotion. "...I want to go pet the bunnies now." She told Raven beseechingly, moving off her so she was no longer straddling her.

Raven sat up and yawned. "Yeah, okay, we can do that." Really, it was a testament to how much Starfire valued sister bonding time that she hadn't pleaded to go to the petting zoo before the water park, Raven knew.

Starfire clapped her hands, happy. "Oh, thank you." She said, sweetly bestowing a kiss on Raven.

The kiss turned deep and meaningful quickly though, their arms going around each other. When Starfire took her lips away, Raven swallowed, looking into her girlfriend's eyes and kind of wanting to teleport them back to their bed for a little while or something. _Be patient_ , she told herself. _It's good for you._ "Yeah, um... no problem... I kind of want to see the ponies anyway." She admitted a little shyly, thinking of her favorite TV show ( _Pretty Pretty Pegasus_ , of course).

Starfire dragged her over to check on Rose and Blackfire, who were (predictably) also involved in making out. "Um, so, we're going to the petting zoo for a little while... Wanna come with?" Raven asked.

Blackfire broke their kiss, her eyes still hungry on a dazed looking Rose. "No, no." She said distractedly. "You go on and have fun. We'll catch up later at the food bazaar or something, alright?" She asked, immediately going back to the kissing without waiting for an answer.

Starfire giggled. "Alright. Have fun, sister." She said, taking Raven's hand and leading her away.

"Oh, I will." Blackfire called from behind them.

"She really puts herself into that, doesn't she?" Raven mused, thinking Rose must have her hands full in a way. Blackfire, like Starfire, didn't actually need to breathe. She could live on starlight and even fly in space if she wanted, so she could kiss for, you know, pretty much ever. Raven herself was half-demon, so she could keep up where Starfire was concerned, but Rose was just a human.

"Oh, she has always been that way. It is actually what caused the rift between us originally, I believe." Starfire confessed as they walked through the park, heading for the petting zoo.

"Um, okay, and what's that mean exactly?" Raven asked, not getting it.

Starfire sighed. "Once upon the time, both my sister and I were interested in the same girl, Oleand'r is her name. Her mother was one of our mother's advisors, so she was almost like another sister to us growing up. Blackfire became very obsessed with her once our hormones began to gnaw tenaciously on our heart organs like the hungry Warfnog." She illustrated gnashing teeth and pincers with hand gestures and her own teeth to make her point. "But the problem was that Oleand'r was what Earth humans would call, the player. She tricked us, dating both of us and professing the lurvs." She explained. "I prefer to think she only did it because her own hormones were doing the gnawings of the heart organ as well, but I do not really know. I found out I was being the double-timed when I walked in on her and my sister sucking the face together one night. It was most unpleasant. After that, we all argued. It went the downhill from that point on, as I am sure you can imagine." Starfire finished.

"Huh... You know, you never told me any of this before." Raven observed quietly. She wasn't judging though. She'd known Starfire was keeping some things to herself about her past, and she'd been content to let her tell her when she was ready. "You just said your sister wanted to be queen."

"Oh, she did, and she was for a while, that is, before she committed the treasons and went on to become the troublemaking thief." Starfire explained. "When Oleand'r dumped her for a Thanagarian girl—they all have very pretty bird wings—I think my sister took it the hardly."

"Yeah... I guess I could see that." Raven mused, cringing internally at the thought of what might happen if Rose ended up dumping her too for some reason (she could actually think of any number of reasons why someone might want to dump Blackfire). "Why'd she do it, though? Break up with her, I mean?" She asked.

"According to the gossip, it was because my sister was being the clingy." Starfire explained. "And possibly also the high maintenance." She added thoughtfully.

"Well, that makes sense." Raven observed.

"I don't think she was as bad as that though. I think maybe Oleand'r has the commitment issues." Starfire said, coming to her sister's defense.

"Mm, yeah, I guess that could be it." Raven allowed, privately kinda doubting it.

Starfire reached over and took Raven's hand in hers then. "A part of me understands." She said softly. "I think that I might go the cray-cray in the head brain for a time as well, if you were ever to do the dumping to me."

Raven's eyes widened a little at that, thinking about what it would feel like if Starfire dumped her. She growled and felt her extra eyes appear, and the shadows gather around her.

"Raven?" Starfire asked.

Raven blinked and forced herself to stop thinking about it and calm the hells down already. She took in a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah, that would really suck alright." She prevaricated. "Um, come on, let's go pet some ponies." She tugged Starfire forward towards the petting zoo, thinking she could actually use some pony time about now.

Just then though, they both heard people shouting in alarm. Raven looked off into the distance, her eyes tracking up into the sky.

"Okay. Alien spaceships kidnapping people." Raven mused, looking over to Starfire. "Didn't we just do this a couple months ago?" She asked. "You know, the tofu guy in the fish bowl with the villain cape?"

Starfire shrugged. "It does sound the familiar." She allowed. "Shall we?" She asked.

"Yeah, let's go help." Raven agreed.

Starfire nodded and they leapt into action, flying off towards the alien invaders to go be super-heroes again.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Jump City, Nightwing dropped silently down onto a rooftop and crept forward to the edge of the building, taking out a pair of high-tech binoculars (the better to covertly observe the goings on across the way with, of course).

Brother Blood had been making waves again lately. _He's up to something... Something big._ Nightwing thought to himself as he watched on. A delivery van rolled up and parked in front of the nondescript office building. "Right on schedule." He said to himself smugly.

The building across the way had been bought, only a few weeks ago, by a newly incorporated company called Newblood Consulting. Totally obvious, of course, but, then, stupid villains made for happy heroes, he always said.

Newblood Consulting was supposedly in the corporate life coaching business, helping C.E.O.s be the best they could be, or some other new-age, hippy-dippy nonsense like that. Translation? Brother Blood was mind controlling big business types for obviously nefarious, but as yet unknown ends. Kid Flash (his studly boyfriend), had been keeping an eye on Blood's activities for the past week, planning to let him steal the poor, rich suckers blind, so he could then go in, play hero, take the bad guy down, and pocket the profits for himself.

Now, the only difference was that they were in it together. _Strange, what a boy finds himself doing for love..._ He thought wistfully to himself. He wasn't about to back out of it though. For one thing, Cyborg and Beast Boy had been talking up the idea of that spa room lately, and he, for one, had become a believer in the notion!

Besides, getting 'paid' to whack Brother Blood in the face with a staff repeatedly? Those were the kinds of things that dreams were made of...

Down below, the delivery van's rear doors were being opened. Blood had been getting these mysterious deliveries like clockwork at this time every night for the last week. Nightwing was just about to get a look at what was inside... when he just so happened to look up and see the space ships in the sky over the amusement park on the edge of town.

"...Don't see that every day." He mused to himself. It did happen every now and then though, he had to admit.

Kid Flash super-speeded up next to him then. "Oh, good, you noticed." He said.

"Yeah... Kinda hard to miss, don't you think?" He commented.

"Beast Boy and Cyborg are out there, you know?" Kid Flash said, sweeping Nightwing up into his arms. "Time to go be heroes?" He asked with that charming smile of his.

Nightwing swallowed, caught in his boyfriend's eyes a moment. "Um, yeah. I mean, yeah, let's go." He agreed.

And so Kid Flash ran.

* * *

 **Next Episode: New Teen Titans Go vs The Three-Eyed, Shaggy-Haired, Flying Purple People-Eaters!**

Isn't it just the way? You're going about your day, planning violent robberies disguised as heroic deeds, kissing on rooftops, trying to get your band back together, or going to visit a petting zoo for cute and therapeutic reasons, and POW! Aliens come and want to eat you... But, fear not, fearless readers—there is hope! Think of next episode like that The Avengers movie—you know, where there's a bunch of scary aliens and a Loki, and Iron Man flies up into the sky through the big portal, ready to make a show-stopping heroic sacrifice, but he lives through it and the aliens are defeated and everyone goes out to a restaurant after. Next episode's gonna be just like that! You know, except... different.


	7. vs The Flying Purple People-Eaters!

**Episode 7: New Teen Titans Go vs. The Three-Eyed, Shaggy-Haired, Flying Purple People-Eaters!**

* * *

Ravager slunk stealthily through the shadows of the amusement park, even as the park-goers around her ran screaming from the alien invasion going on around them. She'd told her girlfriend, Blackfire, to go help Starfire and Raven out in the open, telling her she was going off to get some answers on her own. They might need them, because this looked like it could be a tough one. Maybe even a three episode long event or something (it was about time they had one of those anyway, as far as she was concerned).

She saw a fire escape and started to climb up to the roof.

Once there, she took in the scene. She saw one of those girls with three eyes she'd been seeing that'd come out of the space ships, riding those funky-looking three-eyed, shaggy-haired, flying purple dragon things of theirs. The girl was swooping in down below, chasing a family who was almost cornered. Rose smiled to herself as the thrill of what she was going to do went through her. She took off, counting down the timing in her head, and then she jumped off the roof, landing a second later behind the girl on her dragon.

"Hi there. Going my way?" Rose whispered into the girl's ear in a tease, relishing the shiver of fear she could sense going through the girl as she held her sword to the girl's throat.

The girl swallowed and pulled up, stopping her pursuit of the family. "Don't kill me—please?" The girl asked, scared.

"Maybe if you answer my questions, I won't have to." Rose offered. "What's this about? Who are you, and why are you doing this?"

"My... my name's Pan, and, um... we're um, doing this because we're um, hungry?" She offered weakly.

"You... eat people then?" Rose asked, getting a queasy feeling all the sudden.

"Uh-huh, humans are yummy. Momma makes us people pies sometimes." Pan said positively. "And, you know, there are so many of you, is it really so bad if we eat just a few? You don't have to be one of them, I promise. So you can, you know, just let me go?" The girl offered, sounding way too innocent and genuine in this situation.

"...Land this thing." Rose told her with gentle menace in her voice, reminding herself she'd promised not to cut anyone's head off anymore. She was having a hard time thinking of what else made sense to do in this situation though. Maybe have Raven send them to another dimension or something?

"Her name's Umpy." Pan supplied, doing as told.

"Her?" Rose asked.

"My lopa, her name's Umpy." Pan explained, patting her dragon, or, apparently it (or, apparently _she_ ) was called a lopa. "She's really nice, um, well, once you get to know her?" She offered.

"I'm happy for you both." Rose replied drolly.

"Um, thanks?" The girl asked. "So, um, I answered your questions, are you going to let me go now maybe?" She asked hopefully.

Rose noticed something then. "What's this do?" She asked, pulling out something from Pan's saddle that looked decidedly gun-like.

"It, well, it puts people to sleep?" Pan offered.

"Does _people_ include you?" Rose asked as they landed.

"Um... yeah?" Pan offered reluctantly, swallowing.

"Good to know." Rose said, sliding off the lopa and shooting first Pan, then Umpy with the sleep gun.

Pan slid down from her seat, falling limply in Rose's arms. "Well, that worked." Rose mused, throwing the surprisingly heavy girl, with effort, over her shoulder and heading towards a nearby building. She couldn't just leave her out here, she considered, mentally kicking herself for not asking how _long_ the sleep gun put people to sleep for. She was thinking about maybe finding a nice closet to lock her in in one of the nearby buildings, when her eyes caught movement across the way.

Her eyes met those of another girl's—a girl with three eyes—who was spying on her from around the corner of an ally between two of the gift shops.

Rose smiled and the girl ducked back into the ally, startled.

When the girl peeked back out of her hiding place, Rose was gone, having left Pan laying there in the street behind her.

When the girl, looking forlorn and lost, emerged from the other end of the ally, Rose stepped up behind her, sliding her sword under her throat. "Hi there. Going my way?" (She really liked saying that. Was that so wrong?)

"You um, wait, please, I'm... I'm on your side, I promise." The girl told her meekly.

"Uh-huh. Are you telling me you _don't_ eat people after all, then?" Rose asked dubiously, realizing that these girls really were kind of wimpy, at least when you turned the tables on them.

"No, I mean, _they_ do, but I don't. Really, I want to help. I... What my sisters are doing, it's wrong. I ran away." She pleaded.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"Because humans are _nice_. One of them is my girlfriend. Her name's Wendy. She and her brother, Marvin, are really smart and fun to hang out with. I don't... I don't want anyone to eat her, even if they are my sisters." The girl explained.

Somehow, Rose realized, she believed her. Maybe she was being stupid, but she lowered her sword. "...What's your name?" Rose asked.

The girl turned around and their eyes met. "Shimmer." She said, just a little shy. "My name's Shimmer."

"Hi Shimmer, I'm Rose." Rose smiled to her.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the amusement park...

"You do not get to abduct the old people!" Starfire laid down the law, shooting two energy beams from her fists at one of the teenage girls riding the three-eyed purple dragons. The girl had been trying to net a pair of old people who weren't as spry as they probably used to be, you see. Which was just plain contemptible, in Starfire's considered opinion.

The girl yiped as she fell off her purple dragon, but she managed to land on her feet on the ground below anyway. "Just like the kitty cat." Starfire paused to muse, just as a net dropped over her from above, and an energy washed over her, causing her to pass out instantly.

"She looks yummy." The girl who'd just netted Starfire said.

"True, but she's mine, so hands off!" Raven commanded, punching her hard with a giant black magic fist. The dragon the other girl had been flying caught her before she could hit the ground though, and flew off towards the space ships above with her.

Raven used magic to shred the net that was holding her girlfriend then, and Raven caught her in her arms. Starfire blinked awake. "Good morning?" She asked.

Raven smiled. "You're all right." She said softly, relieved.

"You rescued me, did you not?" Starfire asked, gazing into her eyes.

"Um, yeah..." Raven said.

Starfire kissed her. Three more dragon riding girls were heading their way, but Raven negligently batted them out of the sky so as not to interrupt the kissing part. Her magic demon powers had a lot to do with her emotional state, and also how much motivation she was feeling. Starfire kissing her made her feel like she could to anything, and gave her plenty of motivation to not want the kissing to stop.

"I was going to ask if you two could use some help, guess not though." Blackfire teased, smirking.

"Sister." Starfire said, after she ended the kiss. She levitated up to hover next to Raven. "You came to help."

"Kind of my job now, I guess." Blackfire said, even as a ray from the biggest space ship hit Raven and her sister and they fell out of the sky, unconscious.

Blackfire dove, dodged another beam aimed at her, caught Raven and her sister, and sat them down under the cover of a hotdog cart, really wishing she knew where her girlfriend was right about now. They'd split up though, Rose telling her she was going to be stealthy and see if she could capture one of the alien girls so they could interrogate her. Blackfire had wanted to go with her, but Rose said no, that she should go help Raven and her sister, then she'd kissed her goodbye, and her brain had stopped working long enough for Rose to slip away.

She looked up in time to see another of the dragon riding alien girls heading right towards her, tossing a net. She'd seen from afar what one of those nets had done to her sister, and she was not about to let one of them anywhere near her! She eye blasted the thing, her beams burning through it and hitting the dragon the girl attacking her was riding full in the head. Her eye beams were strong enough to knock the dragon aside so it went crashing into a nearby fountain, which was satisfying.

She was in trouble though, that was obvious. She couldn't afford to go back out into the open and risk getting hit by those knockout beams. She'd recognized these girls with the three eyes too, they were Zemrals: a species that was all female, traveled between dimensions, and saw most other sentient beings as snack food.

If Earth was infested with them now, it wasn't good. She needed help. She needed... her gaze fell on Raven. Yeah, she needed Raven to wake up, she admitted to herself. She really did.

She shook her sister's girlfriend and called her name, but it didn't work.

"Maybe if I zap her? Just a little bit?" She thought out loud.

It was kind of tempting, but she was worried Raven would hit her back on reflex if she tried it.

* * *

Across the amusement park...

Cyborg, Beast Boy, Aqualad, and Speedy were standing back to back in a circle facing out against seven of the dragon rider girls.

"That one has machine parts all over him. So gross." One of the girls said about Cyborg. "I bet he tastes like an oil can."

"Yeah, but the other three look tasty." The girl next to her said, licking her lips with avarice. "Especially the fish-flavored one." She went on, leering at Aqualad, who, yeah, kind of did gulp at that.

"Um, are these girls talking about actually eating us or something?" Cyborg asked.

"I really think they actually are." Speedy said.

"Bake you up in a pie." One of the girls said to Speedy. "Just like momma makes."

"Momma... as in, wait, as in Mother Mae Eye?" Cyborg asked.

"She told us about you." One of the girls said to Cyborg.

"She's kind of holding a grudge." Another of the girls said.

"Yeah. Too bad you're so unappetizing, otherwise one of us _might_ have decided to eat you and save you some misery." The first girl added.

"Um, I don't suppose we can talk about this?" Aqualad asked.

The girls all giggled. "Sisters? Let's feast!" One of them said, and the seven of them attacked.

Speedy shot an arrow, which hit one of the dragons' wings. "Watch out!" He cried as the dragon crashed headlong into them.

Everyone but Cyborg managed to get out of the way in time.

The girl who'd been riding that dragon had jumped down and landed on her feet meanwhile, and she faced Speedy, offering him a hand as he got up. He made the mistake of looking into her third eye and she hypnotized him. "Mine now." She sing-singed.

"Get away from him!" Aqualad bellowed, charging and tackling her, even as he dodged a net thrown by one of her sisters.

Speedy blinked, coming out of it in time to get caught and carried up and away in a net, which had him out like a light.

"Nuh-uh!" Beast Boy said, chomping the dragon and flailing it around in his T-rex form, spitting it out, even as he caught Speedy in one of his T-rex hands, the girl who'd been riding the dragon having jumped down and landed on the ground, unhurt but holding a grudge. "Nasty!" Beast Boy complained, spitting out the dragon, which had tasted _awful_.

Back on the ground, Cyborg had shoved off the unconscious dragon on top of him and did a duck and roll to escape being netted.

He got to his feet, only to be tackled by one of the girls who'd jumped down from her dragon right at him. He toppled over and couldn't help but look into her three eyes, the girl doing her hypnotic thing on him at that point. "Mine now." The girl said, smirking in triumph. Luckily, it didn't seem to work on someone who was half-cybernetic, and Cyborg head-butted her, right in the third eye.

"Ha! No strings on me, better recognize!" Cyborg said in triumph, getting to his feet. "Yipe!" He cried, dodging a sleep gun beam, only to get tangled in a net. He promptly fell unconscious and was carried away, the sleep nets apparently working on him just fine.

The girl who he'd head-butted was swaying on her feet and moaning in disorientation and pain. She was swooped up by one of her sisters and carried away too.

Beast Boy's T-jaws snapped for his boyfriend's abductor, but missed. "Oh no you don'ts!" Beast Boy called, turning into one of the girls' dragon mounts and following after. He put on speed and barreled into the side of the dragon who's rider had captured his boyfriend. They grappled in midair and tumbled down onto the roof of the food bazaar's Mexican restaurant, Senor Fuego.

The girl who'd kidnapped Cyborg was out cold, and Beast Boy, who'd turned into a mouse and landed unharmed (mice can survive pretty much any fall unharmed—strange but true!), became his regular human self again and went over to check on his boyfriend, untangling him from the net.

As soon as the net was off him, Cyborg's systems booted back up and he blinked, looking around, then met his boyfriend's eyes. "What happened, BB?" He asked, confused.

Beast Boy let out a breath in relief and hugged him.

Meanwhile, back on the ground, Aqualad and Speedy were in the middle of being mobbed by four of the Zemral girls, who were tearing off the two boys' clothes, playing with them while laughing and taunting them. "Sweet Neptune, will someone please help us already!" Aqualad wailed piteously for help, even as he yiped loudly when the girls brought him down to his hands and knees and he wailed all over again when one of them bit him on his butt! It was a feeding frenzy, he realized with growing horror—they were the sharks, and he was the fish!

Just then, a sonic cannon from Cyborg hit and blew the girls away with its force. Speedy and Aqualad tumbled and rolled too, but they hadn't taken the brunt of it. Beast Boy changed from falcon to whale and landed on the four Zemrals.

"Why..." Aqualad moaned pitiably, twitching on the ground, feeling gnawed on, and generally quite traumatized.

Speedy groaned and got to his feet. "I don't have my pants..." He said to no one in particular. "This is just... so wrong." He muttered.

"Yeah, can't say I disagree with you there, buddy." Cyborg said, patting him consolingly on the shoulder.

* * *

Terra kept her eyes narrowed on their destination as she, Jinx, and Billy Numerous sped across the water in pursuit of the three alien space ships that'd abducted See-More and one of the other Billy Numerals. "This is kind of nuts, right?" Terra asked her girlfriend. "I mean, an alien abduction?"

"Well, we do kind of live with two aliens now." Jinx pointed out.

"Oh, um, yeah, right. Forgot about that." Terra admitted, embarrassed. "I guess I just didn't think about it like that. It's just so cliche though, right? I didn't think aliens really went around doing this stuff in real life."

Jinx shrugged. "First I've heard of it." She admitted. "Though, come to think of it, I think Raven did mention something about some tofu guy from outer space her old team fought once."

"Tofu guy?" Terra asked, skeptical.

"Yeah, you know, like a block of sentient tofu that wanted to take over the world to, um, stop us from eating tofu I think?" Jinx offered, admitting to herself that, yes, perhaps she should have paid more attention when Raven had been telling her and Rose about it. "I kind of felt sorry for him."

Terra giggled. "You're totally making this up, aren't you?"

"No, it really happened." Billy said. "See-More follows these kinds of things, and he told me all about it. Dude's name was No-Fu, but he didn't want to protect Earth's tofu or anything, he basically wanted to blow us all up with a cow powered death ray or something, and for no other reason than he was just a very bad dude." He sighed. "...I hope these aliens haven't turned me and my boyfriend into something weird like that. I don't want to have a boyfriend who's a dairy cow, you know?"

Jinx and Terra shared a look. "That's understandable." Jinx offered.

Terra nodded. "Totally." Figuring she should just go with it.

At that point, they reached the amusement park, a few minutes behind the space ships. The ships, having been able to fly much faster than Terra had been able to, were already attacking the park-goers. More of those dragon riding girls with nets, kidnapping people. Terra stopped and considered the problem from above the scene a moment. "Do we know which one of the ships has Billy and See-More in it?"

"That one. I can feel the other me in there." Billy pointed to one of the three ships.

"Then that's our first stop, I guess." Terra concluded, determination in her voice as she stood up on the rock that was carrying them, raising her hands over her head and calling on her power.

"What are you going to do?" Jinx asked, kind of finding it hot that Terra was being so decisive right now. It made her feel kind of fluttery inside... but, then, most things Terra did made her feel that way one way or another she supposed. She really had fallen hard for this girl. Really hard.

"Making a hole." Terra said, pulling up rocks from the ground below them. She embedded metal piping inside the rocks and spun it around in a collecting circle in front of her. She couldn't actually control metal, but she could catch it up inside the rock, or even coat it with gravel and move it that way. In a few seconds, her drill was fully formed.

"Oh, I get it." Jinx smiled, understanding now what Terra was doing. "Here, let me help." She gestured, adding some of her chaos magic to the mix, thinking it was always good to have a little luck on their side.

Terra smiled to her and shot the drill, now sparking with hex magic, out down at the bridge of the ship as fast as she could push it, not wanting to hurt Billy and See-More with her attack and figuring they probably wouldn't hold prisoners in the same place where they steered the ship from.

Three of the Zemral dragon riders saw what they'd done and swooped up to attack them. "Oh, no you don't." Jinx said, casting hexes at them, smiling as the dragons the girls were riding all lost their coordination at once and tumbled out of the sky, not able to fly right anymore. The three girls yiped and jumped free, landing safely on their feet on the ground below. "Wow, they're tough." Jinx commented.

"No kidding." Billy said.

"Yeah, well, we're tougher, okay?" Terra said. "Come on. Let's go get our friends."

"Yeah." Jinx said, smiling and feeling her heart swell with courage for the battle ahead, and with love for this girl all over again, because her girlfriend had just claimed her friends from H.I.V.E. as her friends too, and was willing to fight to protect them for her sake. That mattered so much to her.

"Count me in." Billy agreed, worried for his boyfriend.

So they headed down, landing on the ship's bridge. Right away, one of the Zemral girls there shot at them with a ray gun. Terra dodged, but it hit Billy and he passed out. Jinx narrowed her eyes and cast a hex, making the gun short-circuit in the girl's hand. She yiped and dropped it. Terra got surprised into running into one of the other girls, looking into her eyes. Before she even guessed at the danger, she was hypnotized. "Mine now." The girl said as Terra fell into her arms. "I bet you're a tasty one, aren't you?" She cooed, moving in for a kiss that, hypnotized as Terra was, she was helpless to resist.

"Hands off!" Jinx growled, casting a hex that hit them both.

Terra blinked her eyes open, coming back to herself, scrambling out of the girl's arms. "Hey! NOT okay!" She accused, punching the girl, who was already looking disoriented by Jinx's hex, in the face.

The girl fell over, out cold. Terra looked back to her girlfriend and was just in time to throw up a rock to be caught in a net in Jinx's place. She shot more rocks, the remains of her drill, at the girl, and the two other Zemral girls who were entering through a doorway. The rocks hit one in the face and she staggered disoriented, the others seemed to just shrug them off though.

"Their eyes—they're vulnerable there." Jinx said, casting another hex at them.

The girls recoiled and shrieked in panic. "Bind! I'm blind!" One of them cried. Jinx smiled in triumph. "Am I good, or what?"

"The best." Terra agreed, kneeling to check on Billy, who was still dead to the world. She shook him. "He's really out of it." Terra reported, looking up at her girlfriend worriedly.

Jinx looked around. "So, what do we do? Leave him and look for the others? Can we do that?" She asked.

Terra didn't know. "I don't know. I um, I guess we could?" She offered, letting out a breath. "I wish Raven was here." (Words she never would have thought she'd say, up til recently.)

There was a _thoom_ right then, shaking the ship. "Maybe we can help." Gizmo said.

The girls turned and saw Mammoth (whose landing had been responsible for the _thoom_ ) along with Gizmo, who was piloting a small hovercraft that must've been what got them here.

"You came!" Jinx cried in happy relief, going to hug her brother.

"Of course we did." Mammoth said. "We'll always be a team. We promised."

"Awww." Jinx said.

"How about you two go find the guys, we'll watch out for Billy here and I'll see what I can do about taking over the ship for us." Gizmo offered. An alarm had gone off when the ships has passed so close over the H.I.V.E. towers. It'd been too late to stop the abduction by the time Gizmo had checked on what had set the alarm off of course, but he'd rewound the surveillance recordings, found out what'd happened, and followed along with his boyfriend to see if they could help.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Terra said, actually a little impressed that these two had come to back them up this way. "What do you think?" She asked Jinx.

"Yeah, I'm in." Jinx agreed.

So the two headed off to find the missing H.I.V.E. boys.

Jinx just hoped they were still okay...

* * *

 **Next Episode: New Teen Titans Go vs Mother Mae Eye vs The Return of the Ghost of Grandma Cyborg!**

And that, dear, darling readers, is the end of another episode... This horribly tense cliffhanger provided to you by the fine folks at Shamma Lamma Mu-Mu, LLC—Shamma Lamma Mu-mu: We ARE the cool... What's that you say? You want spoilers? Well, yeah, of course you do! (What was I thinking?) First of all, it should be of the apparent that in the next of the episodes, there will at long last be the rematch between the villainous people-eating, pie-making Mother of the Mae Eyes and our very own beloved Grandma Voice, returned from the grave in our (humanity's) hour of need! Rejoice! But also, there will be the drama... the sacrifice... the epic conclusion at the climax of the battle, in which one of our heroes will become the most awesome super-hero ever! (Just like Iron Man in the Avengers movie... except, you know, still different.)

Stay tuned!


	8. vs Mother Mae Eye vs Grandma Cyborg!

**Episode 8: New Teen Titans Go vs. Mother Mae Eye vs. The Return of the Ghost of Grandma Cyborg!**

\- Welcome, my readers, to a special hour long episode event! -

* * *

Kid Flash raced through the fleeing crowds, through Happy Times Amusement Park, Nightwing in his arms, headed towards the epicenter of the alien attack... that is, until spotting a few familiar boys brought him up short.

He came to a halt in front of Cyborg and Beast Boy. "Hey guys, what's happening?" He asked, setting his boyfriend down.

"Oh, hey Kid Flash." Beast Boy said. "Hey Robin."

"It's Nightwing now!" Nightwing shot back automatically.

"Dude, sorry. It's kind of a stressful sit'iation, if you hadn't noticed?" Beast Boy pointed out in the face of Robin's usual runaway insensitivity.

"What are you even talking about? It's an alien invasion, we've had like, what? Twelve of those or something already? Not to mention that time we thought it would be a GOOD idea to vacation on Starfire's home planet." Nightwing shivered a little internally, thinking about the bad times. "This should be old hat by now." He pointed out reasonably.

"Yeah, um, actually, I think this one might be a bit worse than your usual." Kid Flash pointed out.

"You think so? Why?" Nightwing asked, looking over to his boyfriend, then his gaze followed where Kid Flash was looking and he saw Aqualad laying there, totally thrashed, a buck naked and badly bruised Speedy holding him in his lap protectively.

"Yeah, that's why." Beast Boy said.

"Oh..." Nightwing said, looking to Cyborg. "How'd this happen?" He asked.

"Basically, this bunch of three-eyed alien girls riding these funky-wrong looking dragon things ganged up on us, talkin' all about like they was going to eat us and everything. I think they've got something to do with the pie lady that tried to eat you that one time? Anyway, we fought, they wailed on us, we managed to win in the end, but Aqualad took the worst of it, obviously. Oh, and there's probably a whole lot more of them heading our way from one of those space ships of theirs, could be here any second, I expect." Cyborg explained, being the undisputed master of alacrity in exposition that he was.

"Oh, ha ha, is that all. You had me worried there for a minute." Nightwing said back, feeling like he might be on the verge of panicking a little, but trying to hide it. Call him selfish, but he really didn't want to get eaten by teenage girls from outer space. Would it really be such a bad thing to let Raven's team handle this one?

Kid Flash smacked him on the back of the head.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" He asked plaintively, even though it hadn't actually hurt.

"Head in the game, boy wonder." His boyfriend told him.

"Yeah, okay. Jeeze, domestic abuse much?" Nightwing complained.

"Yeah, whatever." Kid Flash smirked.

Then Nightwing got hit with a sleep gun ray and promptly fainted. Cyborg went down next, and Kid Flash only barely managed to snatch Beast Boy out of the way before he got zapped too.

In a second, Kid Flash glanced around and saw three of the girls that had been previously laying in a heap (where Beast Boy had left them unconscious after he'd whaled on them) had them in their cross-hairs. Two others were closing in on those dragon things of theirs, brandishing nets.

Leaving Salad Boy to fend for himself behind a cart selling stuffed animals, he ran at the three girls on the ground, easily dodging their ray blasts (even if the beams themselves were moving at the speed of light, the girls shooting them weren't). He had them disarmed before they knew what was going on. "Yeah, hi. We haven't me. I'm Kid Flash. Guess what I can do?" He asked, using one of the sleep guns to shoot all three of them in quick succession, then taking aim at the two dragon riding ones in the air and hitting them too, smirking in satisfaction as they fell from the sky.

"Am I good, or am I good?" Kid Flash asked Beast Boy a second later, having moved at super speed so he was standing beside his appropriately awestruck teammate.

"Um, yeah. You've got the moves, alright." Beast Boy was forced to admit. "What are we going to do now though?" He asked.

"Well, first." Kid Flash flipped the switch he'd noticed on the ray gun he was holding, then he shot Nightwing and Cyborg with them. "I was thinking we'd wake our boyfriends up."

And sure enough the two boys blinked their eyes open and sat up right on cue.

"Ooh, what happened?" Nightwing asked.

"Oh, nothing much. I just saved the day, as usual. No thanks necessary, it's just what I do." Kid Flash said, watching as his boyfriend got to his feet. "On second thought..." He sped in and bent Nightwing over in his arms, giving him a deep and lingering kiss. "Maybe you can thank me, just a little." He said, setting him back on his feet.

Nightwing blushed at that. "Um, yeah. Thanks, boyfriend."

Speedy scoffed at that. "Get a room."

Nightwing looked at him, tempted to say _I'll get a room when you get some pants_ , but Speedy was injured, so he decided now wasn't the time.

"Think you're so clever, don't you?" A loud, familiar voice came from above and seemingly all around them.

All heads turned and looked up, to see a giant holographic Mother Mae Eye head projected in the sky, looking right at them.

"Not so clever after all, as it turns out." She tutted.

"Shows what you know!" Cyborg countered. "We just whopped your ass, ain't that right, boys?"

There was just silence though, and, dreading what he'd see, Cyborg looked, seeing his teammates (minus Aqualad, who was passed out from shock) arrayed around him, turned into Mother Mae Eye's hypnotized minions from having made the mistake of looking up into her big old holographic eye.

"Well, dang. That sure turned around on me fast, now didn't it?" Cyborg mused aloud.

"Afraid so, dearie. Get him!" Mother Mae Eye cackled.

So Nightwing, Kid Flash, Beast Boy, and naked Speedy all growled menacingly and tackled him. He fought back, gave a good showing of himself, but it was no use. Soon, he was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey and being carried off in a net up to Mother Mae Eye's space ship.

His only source of hope was that, while this had been happening, he saw one of the two smaller ships turn to attack the others.

It was probably Raven and Starfire's team, he considered, again ruing the day he'd let Robin talk him and Beast Boy into being all chivalrous and everything.

It really had not been a good life decision, in retrospect.

* * *

Now, switching back to Blackfire's troublesome predicament...

She was just about ready to try the _zap Raven and damn the consequences_ option, when the sleep rays that had been trying to put her to sleep stopped, and she heard a small explosion up in the sky.

Warily, she poked her head out and saw that the eye from the space ship that had been shooting at her had been put out. In the sky, one of those lopa things Zemrals liked to ride was heading her way too. She closed her hands into fists and made them glow, her eyes too, ready for a fight, except she caught sight of Rose riding on the lopa's back behind a Zemral girl, waving to her with one of her swords, the blade's edge catching the sunlight and making it shine.

Blackfire blinked, confused. "Okay, unexpected." She commented to herself as the lopa brushed by her, the wake of its passing ruffling her hair, and Rose jumped down next to her.

"Miss me?" Rose asked playfully, moving in to give her a kiss hello.

Blackfire gratefully let herself be kissed. "You rescued me." She told her a little shyly, once the kiss was over.

"Aw, that's so sweet. You're in love." Shimmer said, finding Rose and Blackfire's kiss completely adorable, and yet more proof that humans should not be eaten.

Blackfire turned to her, suspicious. "And who are you supposed to be, Zemral girl?" She asked.

"Oh, right. She's Shimmer." Rose explained. "She's on our side, as it turns out."

"That's me alright. Hi Rose's girlfriend." Shimmer added. "How'd you know what my species is called, by the way?" She asked, curious.

"...Hi." Blackfire said. "And I know because I've met some of you before, when I was traveling through other dimensions on a... trading expedition." That was putting it generously (really, she'd mostly been stealing things for fun and profit, but that was neither here nor there at the moment). She turned to Rose. "Just checking: You... do know they all eat people, right?"

"I don't, at least not once I found out what my mom was putting in the pies she gave us to eat." Shimmer offered. "Promise."

"She eats cats now, apparently." Rose explained.

Blackfire stared at Shimmer a long moment, then started giggling uncontrollably. It was too priceless.

"Um, what's so funny, exactly? That I eat cats? They taste good, really!" She pleaded. "It's not weird." She defended herself, now officially annoyed with this girl for laughing at her for what she ate. (It was a sensitive subject with her, because her sisters all thought she was a freak because of it.)

"No, no, I'm sorry, really." Blackfire said, trying to stop herself from giggling, but not succeeding all that much. "Just, please, can I be the one to tell my sister?"

Rose had to giggle at that too.

"What?" Shimmer asked, feeling like she was just not getting something. "What?" She asked again.

Rose giggled. "Her sister really... really likes cats. It's a whole thing. There was a convention... and costumes..."

"Don't tell her that." Blackfire said. "It's embarrassing." She complained, still unable to stop giggling. This was the best thing ever... well, maybe not the _best_ thing (that was obviously the lots of sex and romance she'd been having with Rose lately), but she was sure nonetheless that she'd treasure this moment in her heart for the _entire_ rest of her life.

"Okay..." Shimmer said. "And... this is a problem for me?" She asked Rose.

Rose shrugged. "I'll protect you." She offered.

Blackfire giggled all the more, tears falling now. "Stop, stop, I can't take any more." She pleaded, her sides actually starting to hurt, she was laughing so much.

Shimmer sighed. "I don't get it." She lamented.

Rose shrugged. "It's a sisters thing. You probably get that, at least, right?"

"Unfortunately." Shimmer admitted, scrunching up her face in distaste.

"Right... Well, I'll just go wake up our teammates before we're attacked by those sisters of yours again then." Rose offered, turning Pan's sleep ray gun (which she'd kept, of course) to its _wake you up_ setting and shooting Raven and Starfire with it.

Blackfire looked up at the sky to check on their foes, all the while still trying to stop giggling. What she saw there did the trick. There was a giant holographic projection of an old Zemral lady there, coming from the biggest of the three ships. "Whoa, what's that about?" She asked, even as the old lady started to talk.

"Think you're so clever, don't you?" The old lady said.

"She's not talking to us. Wonder who's got her attention?" Blackfire mused.

"Momma." Shimmer said, identifying the woman and being apprehensive, and a little regretful, about it.

"Not so clever after all, as it turns out." Shimmer's momma continued.

"That's your mom?" Rose asked, even as Raven and Starfire woke up.

"What is happening?" Starfire asked.

Raven groaned. "Mother Mae Eye's leading an alien invasion, I'm guessing." She said, getting up from the ground to hover, offering Starfire a hand up. "Always wondered what was going on with that third eye of hers."

"She's a Zemral hive queen." Blackfire explained.

"Afraid so, dearie. Get him!" Mother Mae Eye cackled.

"That cannot be of the good." Starfire observed.

"At least she's not after us." Blackfire looked on the bright side.

"Um, I know I've been out of it for a while." Raven put in. "But what's her story?" She asked about Shimmer.

"Her name's Shimmer, she switched sides when she decided she didn't want to eat people and decided to help us instead. She's got a human girlfriend named Wendy." Rose explained.

"Go ahead, ask me what she eats instead of humans." Blackfire teased her sister.

"What does she eat?" Starfire asked innocently.

"I eat cats." Shimmer admitted apprehensively, having decided she was better off saying it herself, rather than letting Blackfire do it. "Please don't hurt me?"

Starfire gasped and Blackfire broke down into giggles again.

"You... eat the kittens?" Starfire asked. "The cute, snugly, precious little kittens?" She asked in a squeak, as though the idea of it physically pained her.

"Um, yes? Only, well, not the small ones, the big ones." Shimmer illustrated sizes with her hands, hoping this would help. "Preferably, I like the plump ones." She explained.

Starfire fainted, and Raven caught her. "Now see what you've done?" Raven narrowed her ayes accusingly at Blackfire, blaming her for this because it was clearly her fault.

"Yeah..." Blackfire managed to get out, still giggling inconsolably. "I feel so horrible about it. Really." She offered, secretly wishing she'd thought to buy one of those Earth cellphone things so she could've taken a video of this. She'd have paid a _lot_ of money to have that faint to watch over and over and over again.

Raven growled. "Knock it off." She said, punching Blackfire with one of those black magic fists of hers. She didn't do it as hard as she would have if she were a villain or something, but she made sure it would hurt. She couldn't help herself. There were just some lines you didn't cross with her and not expect there to be consequences. "Jerk." She muttered.

"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Shimmer put in.

Raven cringed a little. "Not your fault." She said.

Shimmer let out a relieved breath. "Thank goodness."

"Just... don't talk about it when my girlfriend's around from now on, okay?" She asked. "Not unless she asks you or something, I mean."

"Right. Promise." Shimmer agreed earnestly, and not just a little fearfully. Actually finding Raven more intimidating than she'd found Rose at first, and she hadn't thought that was a thing that was even possible.

Starfire came too. "Oh, I had the most awful of dreams." She said, getting to her feet and looking around. Blackfire was coming back over, looking daggers and Raven. Starfire's gaze fell on Shimmer then. "You!" She accused, pointing accusingly at her.

"Um, yeah, it's me." Shimmer admitted.

Starfire's eyes sparked and her hands made the fists, she shot eyebeams at Shimmer, who yiped and jumped out of the way, hiding behind Rose. "Save me?" She pleaded with her.

"She is a monster! A monster!" Starfire shouted at her, even as Raven and Blackfire held her back from attacking again.

"Woah, hey, I'm sorry—knock it off already, Jeeze!" Blackfire told her.

"Calm down—please honey, for me? We've kind of got other problems right now." Raven pleaded.

Starfire attempted to calm herself, narrowing her eyes on Shimmer in continued accusation. "She has to do the promise, not to do the kitten eating ever again."

"But I..." Shimmer started to say.

"Promise!" Starfire demanded.

"I promise." Shimmer cringed away meekly, even though she had _no_ idea what else besides people she could even eat on this planet... This could be a real problem for her, she was realizing. Rose and Blackfire had clearly undersold the danger.

Starfire took a deep, cleansing breath. "...Fine." She agreed at last. "But I will be the watching you." She said to Shimmer. "Closely..." She added menacingly.

Shimmer shivered. "Um, yeah... okay." She agreed.

Raven let out a breath, relieved.

"Sheesh, overreact much?" Blackfire groused.

Raven growled at her, going all six glowing red eyes and sharp, sharp teeth in the process. "Apologize." She gritted out to Blackfire.

Blackfire's eyes widened and she gulped. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry." She said, backing up, hands up in front of her placatingly.

"Not to me, to your sister. Tell her how sorry you are for being an insensitive jerk to her... again." Raven insisted.

Blackfire let out a breath and looked over to her sister, who was looking back at her, looking all hurt and vulnerable, lower lip trembling. Guilt cut through her heart like a knife at that look, and she felt about three inches tall. She went over to her sister. "I'm sorry, sis." She told her, sincerely, moving in to give her a hug, which she knew her sister would like.

Starfire hugged her back, holding her tight and sniffling. "You can be so mean to me sometimes." She said.

"I know, I promise I... I promise I'll try to do better, okay?" She asked, actually finding that she meant it. She really had been kind of a jerk, she realized belatedly. She should have known better, but it had just been... so funny. She'd let her old way of thinking about her sister take over without even realizing...

"Okay..." Starfire said, voice soft, burying her head in her sister's hair and finding comfort in having her close.

"There, um, now... feel better?" Blackfire asked.

"Mm-hmm." Starfire said, smiling hopefully to her.

"Um, well, good then..." Blackfire said, tentatively returning the smile.

Starfire kissed Blackfire on the cheek then. "Sister." She said, before going to go back to Raven, who'd been watching on, bemused. "Girlfriend..." She said softly, moving in to give her a kiss that was very much _not_ on the cheek.

Raven melted gratefully into the kiss, feeling better instantly. She'd been feeling edgy from having gotten so mad at Blackfire for being so stupidly insensitive to her sister, and she was glad she could trust Starfire to recognize that and help her calm down again. She especially and wholeheartedly approved of her calming methods.

"They kind of make a good couple, you know?" Shimmer said, of Starfire and Raven.

"Why's that?" Rose asked, curious.

"They're both, you know, really scary." Shimmer explained.

Rose giggled. "Yeah, you're probably right about that, actually." She admitted, knowing she sure wouldn't want to be on either Raven or Starfire's bad sides. "What are you going to eat now, though?" Rose asked as Blackfire came over to stand with them.

Shimmer shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

"We could just feed her the villains we catch or something, you know?" Raven put in, her kissing session with Starfire over. Even the few kisses they'd shared had her feeling much more centered though. Kissing Starfire was even better than watching Pretty Pretty Pegasus for centering her... Not that she was about to give up watching her favorite show, because she wasn't.

Rose looked at her. "I thought you said I wasn't allowed to cut off people's heads anymore?" She pointed out.

Raven shrugged. "Eh, maybe if it's for a good cause..." She considered. Making Starfire happy was always a good cause, in her book, maybe the best cause, and well worth the cost of a few extra villains. Besides, if they thinned the villain heard a little maybe there would be more time for, you know, other things? ...No, then there'd just be more anthropomorphized couches and sandwiches to contend with probably. Still, could be worth it...

The conversation was cut short by the sounds of one of the two smaller alien ships moving to attack the other. They all looked up at the sky and saw it happening.

"Time to get back to work?" Rose asked.

"Yeah..." Raven had to agree. "Looks like it."

* * *

Up in the sky, Gizmo laughed his evil genius laugh as he piloted the ship he'd just hacked into obeying his every command, pointed it at the ship next to them, and fired lasers at it (there didn't used to be lasers, but he'd reprogrammed the ship's sleep rays into lasers, so there were lasers now). "Take this, creepy alien invader girls! And this and this and this!" He crowed, firing the lasers again and again and again, until the other ship started to fall from the sky and crash into the amusement park below. "That's what you get when you go up against the H.I.V.E., suckers!" He gloated, making to turn the lasers on the big ship. He didn't get the chance though, because a growling Nightwing landed on the console in front of him.

"Nightwing? What the heck, dude-" He started to say, but Nightwing was swinging at him with that stupid staff of his and he had to jump to the side, out of his command chair, to get out of the way.

"Mother says you have to pay!" Hypnotized Nightwing hissed, swinging again and hitting him out of the air as Gizmo tried unsuccessfully to use his flying harness to run away. He hit the ship's deck and rolled.

"Damn, that boy can hit..." Gizmo muttered, looking up to see his boyfriend, Mammoth. "Little help here?" He asked, hopeful, only to have his hope dashed as she saw Beast Boy fighting his boyfriend.

He looked up in time to see Nightwing take another swing at him and connect. "Oh, look at all the pretty little birdies..." Gizmo said, non-sensate, falling unconscious.

"Heh, heh..." The hypnotized Nightwing said, sounding creepy.

"Get off him, jerk!" Jinx could be heard to say then, coming into the room and zapping a hex at Beast Boy, who'd been in the shape of a huge gorilla who'd gotten on her brother's back and had been hitting him while Mammoth hadn't been able to reach him to get him off. The hex made Beast Boy turn into a clumsy ostrich who squawked and ran around until he hit his head against a wall.

"Thanks..." Mammoth said, having slumped forward onto one knee to catch his breath, grateful to his sister for the help.

"Hey, what are sisters for?" Jinx asked, smiling.

"Heh, heh, heh... More meat for Mother's larder..." Nightwing said, raising his staff and charging at them.

Terra flung a rock at his head and he went down. She shivered. "Was it me, or was that just... really creepy?" She asked.

"Not you." Billy-Numerous said.

"Yeah, that was all kinds of messed up was what that was." See-More agreed, him and his boyfriend having just gotten back from being rescued from being turned into burgers by three-eyed teenage girls. The rescue would've come too late, but there'd been a _burgers versus burritos_ debate that ate up time and gave Jinx and Terra the time to save them.

A net fell over Mammoth's head then and he fell over, asleep. Around them were twelve Zemral girls on dragon mounts. "Naughty food. Stop being bad." One of the girls taunted, firing a sleep ray at Jinx.

"Oh no you don't!" Billy cried, jumping in front of her to take the hit. It was only one of the Billys though, because he was in the process of duplicating himself a bunch of times to give them more Billy power.

"Ooh, unlimited food supply." One of the girls said, her and her sisters starting to look at Billy with obvious food avarice.

Jinx clenched her teeth. "No one gets to mess with my brother, or my friends!" She shouted at them, stepping forward and calling up her magic as she spun in a circle, sending out hex curses at all of the dragon riding girls at once in waves.

Around them, the twelve girls all started to develop very, very bad luck all at once! Their dragons became uncoordinated, they became clumsy, their sleep guns and nets short-circuited. Most of them fell, two flew off in odd directions, their mounts spooked.

"Damn..." See-More said. "Guess all that time playing super heroes didn't put you off your game at all, then." He complemented.

Just then, the big ship spun around and it's giant eye fell upon them. It fired. Terra gathered the fragments of her drill and made a shield. It held, but barely, only hitting some of the extra Billys. "Nasty human children!" Mother Mae Eye accused. "You aren't going to beat me, not this time! My daughters are hungry!"

"Yeah... I've got this." Terra said, gathering up her power, her eyes starting to grow bright.

There was a rumbling from down below and then a giant spike made of rock burst up from under the Mother ship and speared it through the center like a shish kabob, carrying it up and away from them from the momentum of the blow.

Terra collapsed to her knees. "Phew..." She said, letting out a breath and whipping the sweat from her forehead. "So, that wasn't easy..." She said, just as Jinx came over to her, concerned.

"You okay?" Jinx asked softly, touching her cheek.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. That one just took it out of me, you know?" She admitted.

Jinx smiled to her. "You were really brave." She told her.

"Yeah, well, you kind of set a good example, you know?" Terra replied, quirking a smile.

Jinx kissed her then, because she couldn't stand not to. Terra's lips were just far, far too kissable. She was sure she was hopelessly addicted to them by this point, actually.

Right then, the sound of someone landing on the bridge deck next to them startled them into breaking their kiss. "Hey guys." Rose greeted them. "Sorry for interrupting." She offered them an embarrassed smile.

"Rose?" Jinx asked.

"Hey." Raven said.

Terra looked around and was relieved to see the rest of their team—Raven, Starfire, and Blackfire—were there too... She started to her feet then though, spotting the alien with them. "What the...?" She moved to shield Jinx from her.

"Relax, that's just Shimmer. She's on our side." Rose explained.

"Hi." Shimmer greeted shyly.

"Um, hi?" Terra offered.

"Hi, I'm Jinx." Jinx greeted her, stepping out from behind her girlfriend and offering her a smile.

Shimmer felt immediately better. "Hi." She said again, returning the warm smile, already feeling like this was a girl she could really be friends with.

The introductions were cut short though, when the sky above them started to crackle like lightning. They all looked up and saw the sky darkening as a beam from the Mother ship was opening a giant dimensional portal in the sky above them. They could hear Mother Mae Eye's cackling then. "You think you've won, don't you?" Her holographic head taunted. "You haven't won! This is just the beginning! Once my sisters get here, the banquet will begin in earnest, and you're all on the menu!" She cackled.

"I recognize that place..." Blackfire said. "I think that's their home planet."

"Come on girls." Raven said. "Our job's not over yet."

Raven, Starfire, and Blackfire started to fly up. Rose got on back of Shimmer's lopa (her name was Batty, btw) and headed off too. Terra called a boulder to her, formed out of the big rock spike she'd made, and Jinx got on with her.

"Hey." Billy called. The two girls looked back at Billy and See-More. "Be careful up there, okay?" He offered.

Terra smiled. "We will." She said.

"See you soon." Jinx added, and they were off, following up into the sky for the final battle with Mother Mae Eye, trusting that Billy and See-More would look after the rest of the unconscious boys they were leaving behind.

* * *

"This ain't right—this ain't right at all-ll-ll!" Cyborg wailed piteously as two of Mother Mae Eye's daughters, Whimsy and Mimsy, finished reprogramming him. They'd taken him apart and done invasive and embarrassing things with his robot parts while he'd watched, and he just wanted this all to be over with. He wanted to be sharing pizza with Beasty and making out in front of sock puppets on the TV again. Was that really so much to ask in life?

"Prepare to launch!" Mother Mae Eye told her daughters.

"Yes momma." Whimsy and Mimsy both answered in unison.

"Soon, my boy. Soon, my sisters will be here, and it'll be all your fault, _grandma_." She told him snidely.

 _Grandma... grandma... grandma..._ The word echoed in Cyborg's head, down his robotic spine, down into the ship, through the rock of Terra's big, big spike, down into the Earth and across the bay, out to the lawn around Titans Tower where a certain gravestone marked the passage of a once-beloved grandma...

"Aw no she didn't!" The ghost of Grandma Voice said, rising from the grave, a rolling pin in her hand that she shook in rebuke at the heavens above.

Ghost Grandma Voice activated her rocket boots then, and she flew off, right towards her arch enemy's space ship, intent on knocking some SENSE into all _kinds_ of heads today.

"Lunching... I mean _launching_ the bacon beacon in five..." Whimsy started the countdown to Cyborg's liftoff. "Four..." They'd called him _bacon beacon_ , because he was going to be their beacon to call Mother Mae Eye's people here to Earth. "Three..." Where they would proceed to make lots and lots of people bacons out of the Earth people they found here. "Two..." Because the two girls who'd made him a bacon beacon, they both really liked eating people bacon. "One..." Much to their momma's consternation, because she'd assumed when she decided to have daughters that they'd all like pie as much as she did. No such luck though.

"And we have lift off." Mimsy said in satisfaction at their job well done.

Cyborg's rocket boots activated on cue (he couldn't stop them), and he rose into the air, emerging into the open sky. Once he was up a little ways, he saw Raven's team battling a swarm of Mother Mae Eye's daughters in an attempt to stop her.

Just then, the ghost of Grandma Voice hit him, and he got the bacon beacon slapped right outta him!

The now freed Grandma Cyborg, hair curlers and all, looked down at Mother Mae Eye, and their eyes met, animosity sparking like a live wire between them. "Ohhh honey child, you dun done it now!" Grandma Cyborg said, raising her rolling pin and turning her rocket boots in midair to go in a'charging.

"Come and get some!" Mother Mae Eye taunted back eagerly, brandishing a mixing spoon, pointing it at Grandma Cyborg, and shooting her with a laser shot from the end of it.

The shot hit home and Grandma Cyborg crashed into some of the panels on the ship's bridge. "Oh, no she did not! Gramma's gonna teach you better, best you believe!" Grandma Cyborg said, emerging from the smoke and the shower of sparks from her crash.

"Bring it, you fashion challenged fake, you." Mother Mae Eye challenged, narrowing her eyes on her enemy.

And so, it was brought.

Whimsy and looked at Mimsy then. "So... we should probably be sending up the backup beacon right about now, right?" Whimsy asked her sister.

"I'm thinking that's a _yes_." Mimsy agreed, pressing the button to launch the backup bacon beacon.

On cue, a sleeping (and still naked) Speedy was shot into the sky in a rocket pod, broadcasting _There's more where this came from—come and get it!_ from its transmitter.

* * *

The giant portal to another dimension crackling menacingly above them, our heroines battled fiercely to win through, even as Speedy's bacon beacon pod was launched into the portal in the sky above.

"Is that Speedy in that thing?" Terra asked.

"Yeah, looks like." Raven agreed, bashing another of the swarm of Zemrals out of the sky with her shadow magic. "Who's free to go get him?" She called to her teammates.

"I will go!" Starfire offered, zooming off after the quickly speeding up Speedy.

"Go get'm sis!" Blackfire called after her, dodging a sleep ray and firing back.

"Rose, Shimmer! Take Jinx and go find a way to turn that portal off once Starfire gets back with Speedy!" Raven gave her orders. "The rest of us will cover you!"

"On it!" Rose answered. "Come on Shimmer, let's go."

"Right." Shimmer agreed nervously, dodging one of her sisters who called her a bad name and going to swoop past Terra and Jinx.

Rose held out a hand to Jinx, who caught it and the three of them headed down for Mother Mae Eye's Mother ship, Raven, Blackfire, and Terra clearing the way for them as they went.

"You ain't gonna win, you stanky people-eating old bitty. You just ain't. Best you reconcile yourself to that, right now!" Grandma Cyborg said as she grappled with Mother Mae Eye, who wasn't giving an inch.

"Just you wait, you uptight, trumped up, oil can so and so! You're going down!" Mother Mae Eye shot back, doing a judo move and falling back, rolling Grandma Cyborg over her and tossing her head first into the wall.

Just then, Jinx stepped in between Cyborg and Mother Mae Eye. "How about you try that on me?" Jinx said, just daring her to try.

Elsewhere on the ship's bridge, Rose was sword fighting with Mother's daughters, making her way towards the control center, Shimmer backing her up with her sleep ray gun.

Whimsy and Mimsy looked at one another, worried. "Is it bad that I want to run away right now?" Mimsy asked her sister.

Whimsy shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I was thinking the same thing, but... Momma would be mad at us if we did that, wouldn't she?" She asked Mimsy, as though hoping her sister would tell her that she was wrong about that. They'd been raised to be the scientists after all, not to be hunters like most of the rest of their sisters.

Mother Mae Eye fired a spoon laser at Jinx, who dodged and shot one of her hexes back at her, which hit it's mark. "Ha!" Jinx gloated.

"Wha happened?" Cyborg said, coming around, the Grandma Voice having gotten smacked right out of him again.

"Aw, what's the matter, having performance anxiety again, whippersnapper?" Mother Mae Eye taunted.

"Honey Child, may I please have this dance?" The Ghost of Grandma Voice asked Jinx.

"Um, yeah, sure, why not?" She agreed.

"Thank you, dear." Ghost Grandma Voice patted Jinx on the head and then slid into her body, doing the ghost possession thing.

A bust of light flashed out of Jinx as she got the added ghost power addon, knocking Mother Mae Eye to the ground. "Oh, you are in for it now, yes you are!" Grandma Jinx taunted, winding up a hex into the shape of a giant rolling pin and smashing some SENSE into Mother Mae Eye with it.

Whimsy and Mimsy exchanged looks again then, and Whimsy nodded. "Um, so yeah..."

"We are so out of here." Mimsy agreed, the two of them making as unobtrusive a getaway as they could manage.

And, back across the room, when whomping Mother Mae Eye once with her SENSE inducing rolling pin didn't seem to do the job, Grandma Jinx was forced to hit her again and again (until the SENSE stuck properly, you understand), before vanishing the rolling pin and brushing her hands of imaginary cooking flower. "There now, doesn't that feel better?" She asked her defeated foe.

"I give up..." A dazed and world-weary Mother Mae Eye finally said, before promptly passing out.

"And that, dear ones, is how we deal with stubborn cockroaches back home where I come from, best not be doubting it." Grandma Jinx gloated, even as the ghost of Grandma Voice departed her.

"Wait, grandma, don't go?" Cyborg pleaded.

Grandma Voice went over and patted him on the head. "Now don't you go fretting, darling child. I'll always be here when you need me, don't you fear. Children got to do their own growing up though, and that's just the way of things. Be good now." She told them as she floated up and faded away.

"Well... that was fun." Jinx said, doing a pirouette and feeling happy about how things turned out. "How'd things go with you two?" She asked Rose and Shimmer.

"Um, all set on our end, I guess?" Rose answered.

Shimmer went over and hugged Jinx. "You were so cool." Shimmer told her.

"Yeah, I kind of was, wasn't I?" Jinx admitted, smiling and hugging Shimmer back, already feeling like Shimmer was destined to be her friend forever.

* * *

Meanwhile, up above, Starfire flew through the churning storm of other-dimensional space, racing up, up towards the alien planet beyond, in pursuit of Speedy, who needed her help!

She had almost reached him, when she saw what was coming her way: alien space ships, ones that looked just like the ones the Mother of the Mae Eyes had been using to terrorize the people of the Happy Times Amusement Park. She had also used them to ruin her double date, depriving her of her and Raven's visit to the zoo of the petting—an offense against her that Starfire had not forgotten, or forgiven.

She put on even more speed, catching up just as Speedy's bacon beacon pod came close to falling into the alien people-eater's clutches. Starfire did manage to get in front of it in the nick of the times though, halting its progress and putting herself in between the Speedy and the alien space ships menacing him.

Before her, the lead Mother ship opened it's big eye and looked right at her. "You are not welcome at the Happy Times Amusement Park anymore!" Starfire shouted at the eye in defiance, gathering up her star energy and giving the eye her most powerful eye blasts.

The eye blew up and the ship started smoking, listing to the side and falling back, the other ships moving to help their injured leader ship.

"Now is my chance." Starfire said to herself, hugging the Speedy's bacon beacon pod to her and pushing, building up speed and racing back for the dimensional portal, even as some of the alien ships decided to chase after her to get revenge on her for what she had done to their leader's ship.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the corridors of Mother Mae Eye's ship, Whimsy and Mimsy ran for a shuttle pod they knew about. They passed two of their sisters, Spicy and Cinnamon (who were twins) as they went. "Where are you two going?" Spicy asked, confused.

"Running away." Mimsy told her.

"Momma's so gonna lose this for us." Whimsy added.

"You should come with us." Mimsy added, thinking they really could do with a couple hunters to protect them... and maybe make out with?

"Should we?" Cinnamon asked her twin.

Spicy shrugged. "If she's losing, why should we go hungry?" She answered reasonably. "I say we go with them."

"Yeah, okay. Where to?" Cinnamon asked, feeling only a little guilty for what they were doing. Still, it didn't make sense to get caught by their enemies too, if they could avoid it.

"We know where there's a shuttle." Whimsy told them.

And they all made a run for it.

"What should we do once we get away?" Spicy asked as she and Cinnamon piled into the shuttle behind the other two.

"I'm thinking we could go into growing human clones for livestock purposes." Mimsy said, having been putting some thought into this as she and her sister had been making their break for it.

"But momma said that wasn't sporting enough." Whimsy complained. "And that it was against tradition."

"Yeah, I know. It's prefect." Mimsy said.

Whimsy thought about it, and realized her sister was completely right (as usual). "Yeah, you're right. Let's do it." She agreed, hitting the launch button.

Cinnamon giggled. "Clones. That's so bad."

"I think it's sensible." Spicy said, considering that Mimsy was looking very kissable to her right about now.

* * *

Back on Mother Mae Eye's bridge, Raven had tied up all the Zemrals (at least the ones that hadn't gotten away), Mother Mae Eye included, with her shadow demon magic, and the whole team, plus Cyborg, was waiting with baited breath for Starfire to return to them. "I should go up there." Raven said for the second time.

"Chill already." Blackfire said. "She's got this. Don't ruin the moment."

"Yeah, have faith in her." Jinx added.

Raven let out a breath. "I do have faith in her. I guess I just worry sometimes, that's all. I mean, I swear, if anything ever happened to her, I think I'd go crazy like my dad does sometimes and, you know, that really wouldn't be good... for anybody." She admitted gravely in a small voice.

"Um, yeah, on second thought, maybe you should go up there after all." Terra put in, taking a step away from Raven, all the sudden remembering why she'd been so scared of her before.

"You think I should?" Raven asked Terra.

"Wait, here she comes." Rose spoke up.

Raven looked up and a relieved smile came to her lips as she floated up off into the sky to go meet her girlfriend when she got back.

"Um, yeah, okay Shimmer, you ready to close that thing when I give the word?" Rose asked. "It looks like she's got some of your aunties chasing her home."

Shimmer shivered a little, thinking about what could happen if those aunties she'd never met before did manage to make their way through. Her momma was bad enough! "Oh yeah, just tell me when. I'm _so_ on it."

* * *

And, up in the sky above, Starfire flew as fast as she could, dodging sleep rays being fired at her from the ships behind her and pouring on all the speed she had in her for a last-ditch race to the portal that was just now coming within reach.

Reaching her goal, she burst through back to Earth in a hail of sleep ray fire.

"Close it, Shimmer!" Rose called from down below.

Starfire turned then to face the portal. One of the ship's was ahead of the others and had already partly followed her through. Starfire darted to the side to avoid another sleep ray it fired at her, seeing with relief that the portal had closed around the ship, trapping it there. "Wait here for me please, sleeping Speedy." Starfire patted Speedy's pod affectionately, then threw it far up in the sky. "I think it is time that I do the kicking of the butts!" She said, narrowing her eyes on the ship and then charging right at it, fists glowing. She had to dodge around two more sleep ray beams, but she got past them and smashed into the ship, hitting it right it the eye and knocking it back into the portal where it came from!

"Wooo! The victory!" Starfire cried for joy, catching the Speedy's sleep pod on her shoulder as it fell back down to Earth just then.

Off to the side, Raven watched all this, her mouth hanging open and her heart beating fast from the rush and the thrill of what she'd just seen.

Starfire saw her and came over to her. "Hello, girlfriend. I am the back now." Starfire told, voice soft and intimate.

"Um, yeah..." Raven said dumbly, reaching forwards roughly pulling Starfire in for a very, very heated kiss. They kissed and kissed and kissed some more. At last though, Raven let her go and felt herself relax a little, the tension leaving her. "I really needed that." She told her.

"Um, yes... I really need that too, certainly." Starfire said, pulling Raven back to her for even more kissing (both of them imagining getting the other back home for more of the sex time).

Blackfire was giggling. "They're so cute." She said.

Starfire slowly let a now very pleasantly dazed Raven go and looked around her. Her whole team was there, Rose being carried in Blackfire's arms, Jinx and Terra on one of Terra's flying boulders, and Shimmer flying on Batty's back. (Cyborg had gone back down to the other ship to check on his boyfriend.) Starfire smiled, happily. "My friends." She said.

"Wow, Starfire, I just want to say, that was... so awesome." Raven gushed, sounding more like a fangirl than she was sure she ever had before.

"Yeah sis, that was pretty amazing alright." Blackfire had to agree.

Starfire smiled, joyful, and then she flew down to the peak of Terra's rock spike and held Speedy's bacon beacon pod raised above her head. "It has been said the before, and it shall be said again: I am the cool... Shamma Lamma Mu-Mu!" She declared, celebrating her epic victory.

Just then, Gizmo piloted the ship he'd hacked up to meet them. "Hey guys. Good win." Gizmo said. "Very epic."

"I know, right?" Jinx said, jumping down to check on her brother and her friends, who were all now awake again. Terra joined her.

"I'll just take that, thank you." Cyborg said, taking Speedy's pod. "I've got to get this boy back to his boyfriend." And he flew off down to go find Aqualad down below (hopefully, he wasn't too bad off down there).

Starfire blinked and watched them go, then Raven went and hugged her and Starfire hugged her back.

"Wait..." Nightwing said. "Speaking of boyfriends, has anyone seen mine anywhere?" He asked, looking around hoping Kid Flash would appear next to him from super speed like he usually did.

He didn't though.

"You... don't suppose they ate him... do you?" Nightwing asked, sounding very vulnerable about then.

There was silence.

"It's okay, I found him." Shimmer spoke up, pressing a button. Another of those bacon beacons rose out of the floor, with a naked Kid Flash in it.

Nightwing sank to his knees in front of the pod, grasping at it. "Thank... go-oo-ood-ness." He sobbed, tears of relief falling.

"Aw, he's in love too. So cute." Shimmer gushed.

* * *

 _ **The End...**_ but wait, no, there's also an ominous epilogue for you to read! =)

Down on the ground, a groggy Pan woke up when Umpy started nudging her face with her snout and licking her head.

"Ah, Umpy, quit it, I'm up already..." She fussed at Umpy, pushing her away and sitting up, blinking the sleep from her eyes. "That girl..." She said, looking around, kind of apprehensively, worried Rose might still be lurking around somewhere, ready to sneak up behind her again. She swallowed. "She was kind of hot though..." She had to admit to herself of the glimpse she'd gotten of the girl who'd taken her hostage before the sleep ray had hit her and she'd gone to sleep. And that _voice_ of hers, it thrilled her remembering it, and it sent a chill down her spine too. "I bet she'd taste sooo good." She hummed to herself wistfully, knowing she'd never have the courage to try to catch her though.

Umpy nudged her head again, looking for attention, and Pan giggled, petting her friend affectionately. "Silly girl." She cooed to her. "I love you too."

She took in a breath and let it out then, getting to her feet. "I wonder what I missed..." She asked herself, at last looking up at the sky. She froze in place, dumbstruck. "Momma's ship..." It was... impaled, on a giant rock spike... and, besides that, there was only one other of their ships still in the air. "Maybe they need reinforcements?" She asked Umpy, hoping whatever battle must be going on up there was going their way. She really was hungry right now; she'd gone to sleep without having a meal first, after all. Her stomach grumbled, unhappy with her.

"No, you're way too late, I'm afraid." Kitten Van Cleer said, walking up next to her, Gaea and two other Zemral girls by her side.

"Mixy? Glimmer?" Pan asked, recognizing the two of her sisters that were with these two Earth girls. "What's going on?" She wanted to ask if the two Earth girls with them were food, but she just wasn't getting that impression, much to her stomach's annoyance. Though, really, in her head, it _was_ kind of weird for her to eat Earth girls, because they looked so much like she and her sisters did and when she looked at them and caught their scent, she wanted to kiss them and eat them at the same time. She liked eating the boy ones more, most of her sisters did (it was much less confusing). It didn't matter though, because something else was happening. But what?

Mixy hung her head. "Momma lost, that's what happened. Most of our sisters were captured by the Teen Titans."

"You will be too, if you aren't careful." Kitten said. "Lucky you though, I just so happen to have a better offer for you, if you want to take it?"

"Oh yeah? Um... what's that? And... does it include food?" Pan asked, hopeful, but also feeling sad about momma and her sisters. Still, a girl had to eat, right?

"It does, actually." Gaea said.

"What do I have to do?" Pan asked, flirting, because she couldn't really help flirting. They were both really cute, and, in her head, if she wasn't going to get to eat these girls... maybe she could have sex with one of them? She'd never done that with an Earth girl before, obviously, but, you know, if they wanted to, why not? Especially if they were also going to help find her some Earth boys to eat... At least, she assumed it would be Earth boys, because she assumed an Earth girl wouldn't want her eating others of her species. That didn't make sense. It was a good thing there were two species of humans to choose from, she considered. Did Earth girls eat Earth boys sometimes? She'd asked one of her sisters once, and Whimsy had said no, but maybe Whimsy had been wrong?

"Just agree my girlfriend's your new mother now, that's all." Kitten said.

Pan looked from Kitten to Gaea and her eyes widened as she really saw her for the first time. She fell to her knees. "Anything." She said, worshipful. "Goddess." She knew who this was now. Momma had a shrine to her. The life mother, the one who made everyone. It had to be her.

"Well, this one was easy." Gaea said, going over to cup Pan's cheek. "Come on, let's go home." She knew Pan was mistaking her for one of her sisters (she had lots of sisters out there among the stars, and in other dimensions), but that was okay, it didn't really matter.

"Okay." Pan agreed fawningly, getting up and obediently following along, thinking that she must have done something really right in her life to be lucky like this. The life mother was strong, a goddess, and wouldn't lose to anyone like her momma had, so, as long as she was a good daughter, she'd always have enough food. The thought of that, of never having to be hungry again, made her feel almost lightheaded with happiness.

"What are we going to do with a bunch of girls that eat people though?" Gaea asked Kitten as they went off to see if they could find any more stragglers around that they could recruit.

Kitten shrugged. "I don't know. I was just thinking they'd make cute minions, you know?" She admitted.

"Oh, um, okay, but I'm still your only girlfriend, right?" Gaea asked, feeling it important to clarify that admiring other pretty girls was okay, but that there was a line she wouldn't be okay with her crossing.

Kitten looked at her then. "I'm going to choose not to be insulted right now, okay?" She said softly, moving forward to kiss her girlfriend.

Gaea felt immediately better as she let herself be thoroughly and deeply kissed.

"Aren't they cute together?" Glimmer asked Pan then.

"Yeah, they really are..." Pan agreed, only a little jealous that she didn't have someone to do kissing with right now also.

"Apparently, we're going to live in a mansion with a big swimming pool." Mixy explained.

"And we can have all the humans to eat we want." Glimmer said, eager.

Pan giggled. "Our sisters would be so jealous."

They all fell silent at that, feeling guilty.

"Sorry." Pan said. "I shouldn't have said that." She realized she'd been being insensitive.

Mixy shrugged. "Mm, it's okay. We've gotta eat though, what else can we do?" She asked sensibly. "Our sisters would understand."

When the kiss broke, Kitten stared Gaea in the eyes. "You're my girlfriend, okay?" She told her softly. "That's _not_ going to change. I promise. Believe me?" She asked, only now realizing just how important it was to her that Gaea said _yes_. She was all for giving these alien girls a place to call home and feeding them extra poor people or something to be her minions, but she wasn't going to do it if Gaea wasn't okay with that. Besides the fact that Gaea was the only reason she wasn't poor herself anymore, she'd... well, she'd also, kind of... fallen in love with her at some point.

Gaea nodded, feeling all the more devoted to her girlfriend now that she could see so clearly that Kitten really was hers. She felt guilty for being insecure about it, but... she'd never had a girlfriend before, so she wasn't used to feeling this way all the time. It was good, only... also a little overwhelming sometimes, how much her own happiness depended on someone else, and... how scared it could make her feel when she thought of how much it would hurt if Kitten ever stopped, you know, wanting her around... "I believe you." She told her softly, stroking her girlfriend's hair and gazing into her eyes, feeling lovesick and really liking how it felt, despite the scary vulnerability side of it.

Kitten smiled. "Okay, good... so, um, let's go find, um, find us more minions then, okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, okay." Gaea agreed, secretly having gotten to like playing the villain.

It came with great perks.

* * *

 **Next Episode: Batgirl and Bumblebee vs The Cheshire Cat Gang!**

So, are you adequately ominoused yet? And, honestly! Those of you who have not yet joined the Starfire fan club? Go do the joining already, we are waiting for you! There are cookies! (The cookies are shaped like cat faces btw, if you hadn't already guessed that, meow.) Now, onto the next episode preview: Batgirl and Bumblebee—finally! Cheshire, the notorious international assassin/thief is up to no good in New York City, and it's up to our two East Coast heroines to put a stop to it! And, meanwhile, across the country, in Jump City, Aqualad is in recovery at the hospital, what will Speedy and he do next, go East, or stay Young Justice? What about Brother Blood, and Kid Flash and Nightwing's plans to rob him blind while beating him up and throwing him in jail? And what, oh what, is Shimmer going to do about Starfire's prohibition against eating the kittens? All very good questions!

Be here next time, my fabulous readers, to find out What Happened Next...


	9. vs The Cheshire Cat Gang!

**Episode 9: Batgirl and Bumblebee vs. The Cheshire Cat Gang!**

* * *

On the other side of the country, in New York City, near Prospect Park, just as night was falling, two of the Titans East were in hot pursuit... of crime!

Batgirl swung on a grappling line and landed on a roof at speed, tucking into a roll and coming back up to her feet in one seamlessly smooth transition, her girlfriend/partner in crimefighting, Bumblebee, flying alongside her. "There!" Batgirl called to Bumblebee over their earbuds, catching sight of the girl they were chasing again.

"I see her." Bumblebee answered. "I'm going up."

"Ten-four, flygirl." Batgirl replied, continuing the chase. The girl they were after was Cheshire, an infamous international thief, assassin, and mercenary for hire. Only, now they could add _kidnapper_ to her rap sheet, couldn't they?

Since she'd come to town, at least twelve teens, mostly from wealthy families, had been taken, their families also the victims of theft. One security guard was dead. Of the parents, one was dead and two were missing. She hoped they were kidnapped too, and not, you know, also assassinated.

She wondered who Cheshire was working for this time, or if she was working for anyone at all? Maybe she'd decided to go into business for herself or something? It wasn't as though it was exactly a bad business model, as far as crimeing went. Still, she'd done her research, and she didn't think that was it. That one assassinated parent? His name had been Charles Lancaster. His family was old money, having made their fortune in shipping and export primarily, though they'd diversified their portfolio over the generations. A few suspicions of piracy on his ancestors' parts, but no hint of lawbreaking in recent history. That was, except for Lancaster's daughter, Cecily. She had an arrest record—sealed, but, according to her research, she was rebellious, hated her dad, and tended to make bad decisions. To all reports, her dad _had_ actually been kind of a jerk, so maybe there was some justification there. Still, it made Batgirl wonder if maybe Cecily Lancaster had been the one to hire Cheshire in the first place, to take out her dad, and if her own kidnapping might not have been a ruse. Just what she might be up to if that was true, Batgirl didn't know. She was keeping an open mind (as all good detectives should). What worried her most though, was the fact that there were rumors, unsubstantiated rumors, that Cecily Lancaster had meta-human powers of some kind...

Above, Bumblebee saw their quarry jump down onto a roof, then duck around a corner. "Putting on some speed, BG, I think she's trying another disappearing act on us." It was just a fact that, even at a dead run, she could go faster in the air than her girlfriend could move on the ground, or even swinging on those grappling hooks she loved so much. She'd been holding back though, because Cheshire was serious business and going one on one with her could land her in some serious trouble if she wasn't careful. Besides, they were a team. Still, Cheshire had been giving them the runaround for days now, and she was in no mood for another night of her getting the better of them.

"Understood, flygirl. Be safe, I've got your back." Batgirl answered back, pushing herself all the more for whatever extra speed she could get. She trusted her girlfriend, knew she was capable, but, well... Cheshire was tricky. There was a reason she'd never gone to jail before, even though she was a wanted felon in twelve countries.

Around the corner, Bumblebee was just quick enough to see Cheshire drop down into a skylight. "Got you this time, assassin girl." Bumblebee said. "Ahead, right. She just went in the Carlisle building, through a skylight." She reported to Batgirl.

"Hold position, I'm almost to you." Batgirl said back.

"As if I wouldn't." Bumblebee smiled, actually liking that BG was protective of her like that. It was sweet.

Under a minute later, Batgirl was standing next to the skylight and Bumblebee was landing next to her. "So, what do you think: lucky break, or trap?" Bumblebee asked.

"With Cheshire, I'm not sure there's much of a difference." Batgirl replied honestly, noting that the alarm system on the skylight had already been disabled.

"Ah, yeah, guess not." Bumblebee had to admit. "So, what's our play here?" She asked.

"You go small, be my backup." Batgirl said, kneeling and opening the skylight.

Bumblebee giggled. "There is just no end of bad puns to be had with my name, is there?"

Batgirl smiled fondly. "The burden you bear." She said. "Bee safe, girlfriend." She told her as she slipped inside, into the dark.

Bumblebee shook her head with a fond smile of her own on her lips and shrunk down until she was around two inches tall and then she quietly flitted in around Batgirl as she entered, disappearing into the shadows as her girlfriend swung down on a repelling line.

* * *

Down below, a minute or two before, Cheshire dropped down into the darkened Carlisle building, taking off her grinning Cheshire Cat kabuki mask. Another girl came out of the shadows to meet her and they kissed for a moment or two. Cheshire's heart, already racing from her rooftop run, fluttered a little in her chest at the wildness in the way Cecily Lancaster went about kissing her. She was gasping a little by the time she got air to her lungs again.

"They followed you?" Cecily asked eagerly.

"They'll be here any second, as planned." Cheshire replied. In her line of work, plans were essential. Some people thought they weren't exciting though, weren't sexy. Cecily got it though. She got _her_. There was nothing quite so beautiful as when a well-made plan came together and the people you planned to kill never saw it coming. It told the world you were cleverer, smarter, and just plan better than everybody else.

"Then we should definitely get our game faces on, don't you think?" Cecily asked, putting on a kabuki mask of her own, one that looked like a beautiful doll.

Cheshire grinned and touched her own earbud. "Places, everyone. Places." She said, slipping her mask back on.

* * *

The top floor of the Carlisle building was one big space. It'd been used as a ballroom once upon a time (before the advent of color television and telephones that had buttons instead of a self-resetting dials with finger holes). In modern times, it'd been relegated to use as a place to store old antiques for the auction house that'd taken up residence on the two floors below.

Estimated value of the contents of the room? Several million dollars.

Batgirl dropped all but soundlessly down into the center of the room on her repelling line, leaving it hanging there as she stood bathed in the light from the skylight. She'd be worried about doing this, making herself a target, if she didn't know that Cheshire never killed with guns. No, Cheshire liked up close and personal... also sedative or poison tipped darts sometimes, but since there weren't very many types of _bullets_ that had a chance of getting through the body armor embedded in her Batgirl outfit, she wasn't too worried about darts.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty... Here kitty..." Batgirl called coaxingly into the dark, deciding to just be brazen about the whole thing and see if Cheshire would take the bait.

Somewhere in the shadows of the room, a girl giggled at that. "Good one." She said.

That wasn't Cheshire's voice, Batgirl realized. "Is that you, Cecily?" She asked of the darkness, scanning the place with the night vision lenses in her cowl.

"And she keeps up, too. This should be fun." Cecily replied. "I would appreciate it if you'd start calling me by my _villain_ name though...?" She asked, her voice teasing, even as Batgirl caught sight of a spark of what looked like electricity out of the corner of her eye. She turned to look in that direction, wondering if it was Bumblebee using her stingers.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" Batgirl asked.

Lightning flashed through the air and all the lights came on at once. Batgirl's cowl lenses automatically adjusted, but she had to blink her eyes a moment to clear away the effects of the abrupt light exposure. She tried not to let on.

"You can call me Doll Face." Cecily informed her, just as Batgirl's vision cleared and she caught sight of her, wearing clothes that looked like Cheshire's, except they were blue and her kabuki mask looked like, um, well, obviously it looked like a doll's face (this girl, apparently, was not that big on subtle branding strategies). "Hell of an entrance, am I right?" Doll Face said, offering up her own commentary as she stretched out a hand towards Batgirl and shot a bolt of electricity right at her.

Batgirl dodged and, in the same movement, threw a Batarang right at Doll Face's doll face. "No, no, none of that." Cheshire said, stepping up to protect her employer/new girlfriend, by blocking the Batarang with her metal claws. The Batarang wasn't deflected harmlessly away though, nope, instead it burst into a small cloud of tear gas. Cheshire reared stumbling back, surprised.

"I'm not so easy." Batgirl admonished, throwing more Batarangs at Cheshire, who managed to dodge or deflect those too, despite the tear gas. As this was going on, Batgirl quickly analyzed the room in her peripheral vision, taking note of the fourteen other teens in the room, all dressed similarly to Cheshire and Doll Face. The masks all had somewhat different looks. Some were similar to Doll Face's, others to Cheshire's, and still others looked like other types of yoni (Japanese demons). The count was more than the eleven other missing teens she and Bumblebee knew about, but Batgirl was sure these were them anyway, and the extras were just more recruits that they hadn't known about. "It's time flygirl—make your move." Batgirl whispered to her girlfriend through her earbud, even as she darted out of the way of another ark of electricity from Doll Face.

"You're going to pay for that." Doll Face promised, eyes narrowed in rage on Batgirl for tear gassing her girlfriend. She drew more electricity up through the floor and was about to strike at Batgirl again, when Bumblebee got people-sized and punched her hard with one of her stingers, hopefully teaching her that the protective girlfriend card could easily cut both ways.

Cheshire growled and took a swipe at her with her metal claws, and Bumblebee only just managed to dance back out of the way in time, firing a stinger blast at her as she did.

Cheshire did some dancing of her own, laughing softly as she did, enjoying herself. "Oh, you're so good." She complimented, getting in close and taking another try at tagging Bumblebee with her claws.

Meanwhile, Batgirl was being ganged up on by the rest of Cheshire and Doll Face's little gang. "And who are you all supposed to be?" She asked as they closed in on her, each carrying various types of weaponry.

"You can call us the Cheshire Cat Gang." One girl said, sounding like a thrill-junky, even as she shot at Batgirl with what looked like a high-tech sort of taser.

Batgirl dodged, letting it hit another girl behind her who'd been making a grab for her. The girl went down with a startled cry and Batgirl whirled and delivered an uppercut to a boy's jaw, knocking him down and putting him out with just one hit.

The others backed up wearily at that. "This isn't a game, you know. Keep coming at me, you're going to get hurt." Batgirl dared them, projecting as much menace in her eyes and voice as she could.

"Come on, she's just trying to fake us out guys!" One of the boys said. "She can't beat us all."

"Yeah, he's right!" The girl who'd shot the taser agreed, and they all swarmed her.

Doll Face, picking herself up off the floor from where she'd landed when Bumblebee punched her, scanned the room dazedly. She stumbled and fell back down, catching herself woozily on one knee.

Bumblebee and Cheshire were still sparing, and it seemed like they were pretty evenly matched on the fighting stuff.

All the while, Batgirl was taking down one Cheshire Cat Gang member after another in startlingly quick succession. They may have had the numbers, but she'd trained herself to use superior numbers to her advantage, and these rich kids really didn't know how to fight so much. Pretty soon, there were just three left, two girls and a boy. The two girls looked at each other, then turned and ran away. "Hey, wait!" The boy called after them, turning to run too.

"Uh-uh, not happening." Batgirl said, tossing bolas to tangle up his feet. He hit the floor face first and groaned. Batgirl watched the two girls leave the room, but had to forget them to dodge out of the way as Doll face shot another bolt of electricity at her.

Batgirl saw Doll Face was out of it though, so she headed for her, thinking she needed to take the opportunity to disable her while she had it, then she and Bumblebee could double-team Cheshire... allowing that Bumblebee hadn't taken her down by then, of course (which she would never bet against happening, even given Cheshire's very scary reputation).

Doll Face made a half-hearted attempt to hold her back by throwing more electricity, but it was a clumsy attempt and Batgirl easily dodged. The villain girl looked scared now. "Um, help me?" Doll Face called to Cheshire. "Please?"

Hearing this, Cheshire dodged under one of Bumblebee's punches and threw down a smoke bomb, sending a poison dart at Batgirl as she came up.

Batgirl dodged and Bumblebee used her wings to blow away the smoke, but, by the time it was gone, Cheshire and Doll Face were gone too. "Damn!" Bumblebee cursed.

Batgirl sighed. "At least we made _some_ progress." She said, looking over at the fresh crop of stupid rich kids they'd netted for their troubles tonight.

Bumblebee let out a breath. "Yeah. Pretty impressive how you took'm all on by yourself like that, by the way." She offered.

Batgirl quirked a smile. "Yeah?" She asked.

"Mm-hmm." Bumblebee replied. "I'm just glad you weren't hurt though, really." She admitted, going over to her and giving Batgirl a slow, sweet kiss.

Batgirl melted inside at the kiss, blushing a little when the boy she'd used her bolas on wolf whistled. She sent a glare his way when their kiss parted.

"What?" He said. "You make a good couple." The boy explained.

Batgirl let out a breath and quirked a small smile at her girlfriend. "Yeah... I guess you're right about that, huh?" She had to admit.

"So, um... are we under arrest now or something?" One of the girls Batgirl had taken down asked. She'd been wearing a doll mask; like Doll Face's, but different. She'd just woken up and was sitting there on the floor, looking still kind of groggy and like she thought she'd just danced too long and gotten a speeding ticket; one that, no doubt, her parents would make disappear soon... And who knew? Maybe she was even right. Given that she'd just, to all appearances, joined a gang named after an international assassin and participated in stealing a large amount of money from said parents however, Batgirl had her doubts.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening next for you." Bumblebee offered.

"Right, well... I'll just be right here then." The girl said, yawning and laying down, using one of her unconscious friends as a pillow.

Batgirl looked at the sleeping girl a moment. "Um, so, I'd say it's adorable how carefree she is—you know, given the situation and all?—but I'd definitely be lying about that." She commented.

Bumblebee snickered. "So, I'm going to call this in, I'm thinking?" She offered, taking out her cellphone.

Batgirl nodded. "Yeah, sounds good. Do me a favor and keep an eye on these arguments against intelligent life on Earth for me while I go have a look around before the cops get here?"

"Sure thing. Just... You feeling okay, BG?" Bumblebee asked her girlfriend. She usually wasn't darkly sarcastic like that. It was a sure giveaway something was getting to her.

Batgirl yawned. "Yeah, I'm okay." She answered, giving Bumblebee a warm smile. "Sorry, just got used to having a team to help us with this kind of stuff, I guess, that's all." She admitted.

"Yeah, I hear you on that." Bumblebee had to admit. "...You go on, I'll make the call and keep an eye out." She offered.

"On it." Batgirl agreed, going off to do her detective thing and search for clues that might tell them where Cheshire and Doll Face might go next, or what their plans for future crimeing might be.

As she looked, she heard Bumblebee talking to the police in the background and she thought about what she'd just told her, about them not having a team anymore. She and Bumblebee did used to have one, a team. They were the Teen Titans East. Their roster had changed a few times since they'd started up though. The team had started out in Pennsylvania, but, when Batgirl had joined and taken over as team leader after they'd fought Gorilla Grodd that one time, she'd made the call to move them to New York, where the attack had happened, figuring they could do more good in the world's tenth largest city (ranked by population).

They'd even built their own Titans Tower, out on an island in Jamaica Bay. As things stood now though, she and Bumblebee hadn't been out there in three days.

Was the team just all over now? She found herself hoping it wasn't. Aqualad had left a while ago though, because he'd fallen for that Speedy boy, and Robin's sales pitch (or, she guessed he was going by Nightwing now). Then, as bad luck had it, three days later, Hot Spot had got called back to Morocco by his family because Gorilla Grodd attacked Rabat (Morocco's capital city, and possible superhero name for the next frog that wanted to be a bat-themed superhero, but didn't want to go the obvious rout and call her or himself Batfrog)...

And why was it exactly Gorilla Grodd was always attacking random places like that in his spare time? She didn't know the answer to that, but she wanted to, oh yes she did.

So yeah, she and her team—her, Bumblebee, Herald, and Hot Spot—had went and played _stop the crazy-resentful telepathic gorilla who hates humans for uncomfortably justified reasons_ game again (some doctor kept him in a cage once and did bad doctorish things to him, so, yes, he got a few sympathy points). Still, he'd needed to be stopped, so they'd stopped him... you know, again.

But, well, then Hot Spot felt guilty he hadn't been there, so he said he was staying, and Herald's his boyfriend, so he stayed too. Batgirl didn't blame him, she'd for sure make the same call for Bumblebee if it came to it. It did leave her and her flygirl without a team backing them up nowadays though, and she'd be lying if she said that didn't worry her sometimes.

Oh, it was fine, them stopping the run of the mill kinda stuff. Even something like tonight; well, the lightning powers could have been a problem, if Doll Face had really known what she'd been doing and been able coordinate her attacks effectively with Cheshire, but she hadn't and they'd handled it fine. The thing was, if, like, Grodd came back and attacked New York with an army of gun-toting gorillas again? ...That'd be different. And, you know, let's face it, it was pretty much only a matter of time until Grodd did that again.

It was a Titans East theme by this point. You couldn't avoid it.

She sighed when she heard the sirens. There wasn't anything here, she was realizing. Cheshire and Doll Face had probably just chosen this place for the ambush and that was all (and, more than that, Cheshire wasn't exactly new at this, even if her gang was; she couldn't rely on them making stupid mistakes). Still, they were far from out of leads. She'd been right before in more ways than one when she'd told Bumblebee that they'd made progress. They now knew Cecily Lancaster was definitely the one behind all this, and that gave them all _sorts_ of exploits they could use.

She went over to join her girlfriend just as the police showed up. It would take a while to get through the explanations and such, but, after that? She really wanted to just head home for the night and go to bed.

* * *

And hour later, Cheshire sat looking down at her sleeping girlfriend, consternation clear on her face. Luckily, there was no one there to see it.

It really did not make sense to her: you know, the why?

Why did she like this girl so much? Cecily Lancaster was a spoiled, resentful, entitled, brat of a girl. By rights, the only thing she should feel towards her should be annoyed. The stupid thing was that she was that way with everyone else but her. From the first time Cheshire had snuck into her room at night and woken her up with a knife to her throat... _"It's you."_ Was all Cecily had said, and she'd just gazed into her eyes until Cheshire had lowered the knife. Not that she'd been planning to use it of course, she just... liked to show her potential clients who was on top right from the start. And also, yeah, where a cute girl was concerned, surprising one in bed with a knife was kind of her version of flirting. Not exactly emotionally healthy, obviously, but she'd never claimed to be that. Looking into Cecily Lancaster's eyes that night though, she hadn't felt on top of anything (even though she technically by definition very much had been at the moment).

Cecily had smiled at her then. _"So, can I take it you're accepting the job, then...?"_ She'd asked.

And Cheshire had, of course, said that, yes, she was. Then they'd kissed, and, you know, also had sex. Then she'd killed her dad the next day. Then they'd had sex again, and... pretty much every chance they'd gotten thereafter. It was, well, and she liked that. A lot. She wasn't even actually getting paid anymore. Cecily'd asked if she wouldn't just rather be her partner in crime, and... she'd said yes to that too. She hadn't even really thought about it first, she'd just agreed.

She sighed. So, yes. It was apparent. She was in love.

She really did wish she knew why though.

* * *

And, meanwhile, back on the west coast, on the scene of the now concluded alien attack on Happy Times Amusement Park...

Shimmer watched on, hugging herself, as her sisters were sent through the dimensional portal. Her mother had been the first one through. She'd been watching, looking for her twin, but, so far, she'd yet to catch sight of Glimmer at all. She felt sort of guilty for being happy about that. Some of her sisters had gotten away, it'd been unavoidable, what with everything that'd gone on.

After all had been said and done, all of Rose and Jinx's friends had been okay. Or, mostly anyway. The boy called Aqualad had been taken to a hospital. Raven had said not to worry about it though, because he was injury prone but that he always bounced back. The boys were with him. In the aftermath of the battle, Rose and her friends had rounded up all of her sisters they could find, Shimmer had helped (as conflicted inside as she'd felt about it), using stolen sleep ray guns to make them more manageable. There'd been a discussion then, about what to do with them all, because keeping them in jail wasn't something they could do, because it wasn't like they could feed them the unwanted humans they kept in the prisons or anything (it was against the law, apparently). She'd been about to point out that they could just feed them cats, but a glare from Starfire had stopped her cold before she'd gotten all the words out.

Blackfire had been the one to mention that she knew what they could do. She knew about this other dimension that had a Zemral quarantine planet in it. The planet was supplied with a species of animal that reproduced quickly and were nutritious and tasty to her kind. A few of the nearby sentient species, none of whom apparently proscribed to the death penalty, maintained an orbital ring around the planet and ensured that none of the Zemrals got free. Blackfire's dimension skipper hadn't been powerful enough to take more than Blackfire and anyone she was holding hands with through to the dimension they'd needed to get her sisters to though, so Raven had volunteered to make a bigger portal for them to use.

It was a good result; as good as she had a right to expect, Shimmer knew. Still, somewhere in the back of her head, she'd had this fantasy that she could get all her sisters to switch to eating cats too and they could all stay here and live in peace. She looked over at Starfire, feeling hurt and resentful towards her for crushing her dream like she had, and also hungry, because she didn't know what she was going to eat now. It wasn't fair. Earth had so many cats, why couldn't she eat any of them? She felt like she was being discriminated against. Earth people ate all sorts of animals. Bigger ones than cats. Like cows. Why was it okay for Earth people to eat cows, but it wasn't okay for her to eat cats? It wasn't her fault cow meat made her throw up (she had tried it once; she'd tried eating a lot of Earth animals, but only cats had worked out for her so far).

Starfire turned to look at Shimmer again then, weary distrust in her eyes, which softened when she saw the look on Shimmer's face. She felt guilty for maybe being the one who'd made her look that way and walked over to. "Hello, Shimmer." Starfire greeted her, feeling a little shy somehow. "Are you the okay?" She asked, voice gentle.

Shimmer shook her head. "I'll miss them, you know? My sisters..."

Starfire let her gaze wonder over to Blackfire, who was doing the flirty talk with her girlfriend at the moment. "I think that perhaps I do know very well of which you speak..." She admitted. "I and my sister, Blackfire, have been the enemies for the very long times, until recent events healed the hurt between us, and now we are true sisters once again." She looked back to Shimmer. "Perhaps you too will see them again one day?" She asked, trying to look on the optimistic side of things, which was a thing she always endeavored to do in life.

Shimmer smiled, hopeful. "I have a twin, um, her name is Glimmer."

"She is being sent the away though?" Starfire asked, feeling the guilts again, and wondering if perhaps not all of the Zemral sisters needed to be sent the away?

Shimmer shook her head. "She's not here with the others. I think she must have been one of those that escaped." She admitted. "I um..." She met Starfire's eyes a moment and then looked away.

Starfire let out a breath. "You were going to talk of the kitten eating again, were you not?" She asked, shivering in revulsion at the thought, but feeling like, despite her kitten eating ways, somehow, she and Shimmer might be the kindred spirits? "I would be the lying if I said to you I was alright with that, I do not think that I will ever be, but... please, tell me your thoughts anyway? You are friends with my friends, and I... I wish to understand you." She told her earnestly.

Shimmer looked back to Starfire, feeling nervous. "Well, alright. I um, well, when I ran away, I was hungry. I met Wendy though, and she asked me what was wrong. I told her, and she took me home with her. We um, we kissed... and I knew more than ever that I couldn't eat humans like my sisters did, not ever, but I was hungry. I'd tried to eat human food, but it tastes horrible, or, it does to me anyway, and it made me sick. Mostly, it made me throw up, even when I tried eating a dog I found."

Starfire felt regretful at this. She did not much like the puppies, because they were always chasing the kittens, and wanting to hurt them, so she would have been the alright with it if Shimmer had chosen to eat them instead.

"I was scared, you know? Because I didn't know how much longer I could hold out before I _had_ to eat a human. Hunger can make us a little crazy after a while, you know? But um, Wendy's neighbor had this cat, and he smelled _really_ good, so... I ate him, and I wasn't hungry anymore. Ever since then, I thought maybe I could tell my sisters about this and they'd give up eating humans too... I tried to talk to them about it, but they wouldn't listen, and momma was angry at me when she found out what I'd been up to. Glimmer helped me get away, but she said she didn't want to leave home. I guess, I was hoping that now that momma's being sent away, maybe she'd want to stay with me? But if I can't offer her cats to eat because you won't let me, or if I can't find some other Earth animal to eat, I just... what am I going to do?" Shimmer asked plaintively.

"...I would still not be the averse to feeding you the villains?" Starfire answered positively.

Shimmer giggled. "Jinx wouldn't like that, you know."

Starfire shrugged. "We do not always get everything that we want in life. Still, I feel optimistic that my sister may be able to come up with a better way. She is very clever, I assure you." She told her, just grateful that her sister's cleverness was on her side for once.

Shimmer yawned. "Well, I hope she does it soon. I'm hungry." She lamented.

"Shimmer! Shimmer! There you are!" A girl's voice called.

Shimmer all the sudden felt a lot more awake, she whirled and ran over to sweep her girlfriend up in her arms and kiss her for a very long time, feeling her desire for this girl completely overcome her hunger. At least for now.

They parted their kiss and Shimmer sat her down, gazing adoringly into her girlfriend's eyes. "Wendy... You found me..." She said, feeling shy and a little flustered.

"You were on TV. It was easy." Wendy said, looking at Shimmer in that way that said _I want to get you alone in my bedroom now please_. "What happened?" She asked softly, trying valiantly to stop thinking about Shimmer in her bedroom.

Shimmer let out a breath in a sigh. "My mother and my sisters attacked the amusement park, and I helped the Teen Titans stop them... Mother and most of my sisters are being sent away to a quarantine planet currently. I'm... having mixed feeling about it." She admitted, because she always told Wendy everything. That was one of the things she loved most about Wendy, that she always listened to her and genuinely wanted to hear what she had to say. Glimmer did that (well, more than the rest of her sisters anyway), but Wendy had been the first one to make her feel... well, like she was totally and completely not alone in life. That was such a magic way to feel, really it was.

"Oh, I, um... Glimmer too?" Wendy asked, knowing how much her girlfriend's twin mattered to her.

Shimmer shook her head and smiled. "Glimmer got away. I still have hope." She told her positively.

"You'll find her, I know you will." Wendy told her.

Shimmer felt relieved to hear the words, especially because it was Wendy saying them. "Thanks, Wendy. I think I needed to hear that right now." She admitted.

"Hey, what are girlfriends for?" Wendy asked, giving Shimmer a brief chaste kiss.

Shimmer hummed, her eyes having fluttered closed for the kiss. "Lots of really good things." She admitted, her voice warm and kind of blissful.

Wendy giggled. "Well, that's certainly true." She conceded the point.

Starfire watched this exchange from where she'd stood when Shimmer had gone to greet her girlfriend. Seeing it, she had to admit she found herself liking Shimmer all the more. Jinx came over to stand with her then. "Is that Wendy?" Jinx asked. The rest of their team was providing security for the prisoner transfer, which was still going on. Jinx had gotten bored though, and noticed Starfire and Shimmer talking, so she'd come over to investigate. She liked to be snoopy and collect gossip sometimes, she didn't feel guilty about it.

"Yes, I believe she must be." Starfire answered.

"They look so cute together." Jinx said. "I'm glad she has someone. I really like her."

"...I believe I do as well." Starfire admitted.

* * *

And, across town, in Jump City's Coast Side Hospital, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Kid Flash, and Nightwing were gathered around a hospital bed. Speedy was there too, sitting in one of those stiff hospital chairs, gazing down at his battered, bruised, and yet somehow still undeniably beautiful boyfriend, Aqualad. They were carrying on a hushed (and, predictably, also somewhat flirty) conversation.

"I think we should give them a minute, you know?" Cyborg offered, wherein _a minute_ actually meant several minutes.

"Yeah." and "Okay." The others said, following him out of the room into the hallway to give the boyfriends their space.

"So, he's gonna be alright, is what I was hearing back there?" Beast Boy asked. The doctor had just left, but, to his ears, it'd sounded suspiciously like he'd been talking some other language that he was convinced couldn't actually be real English.

"What? Yeah, of course. The doctor was just here. He said that." Nightwing told him, not getting it.

"Oh, yeah, totally. I was just, you know, making sure you got that same impression." Beast Boy explained, trying to play it off.

"Whatever." Nightwing replied, his gaze wondering back to Aqualad and Speedy. "So... You think they'll join back up with us, I mean, once they're back on their feet that is?" He asked.

Cyborg shrugged. "Who can tell?" He said. "I give it a fifty-fifty chance." Provided Nightwing didn't Robin it up of course, he thought but didn't say; which, yeah, probably actually meant the odds were more like eighty-twenty against or something, but he didn't want to get into that right now. This was a hospital after all, and folks needed their quietudes.

"Oh, they'll come back." Kid Flash said.

"Oh, why do you say that?" Nightwing asked, curious.

"Because you're going to tell them how sorry you are for calling them minions or whatever, tell Speedy he's an invaluable asset to the team, and you, know, generally grovel, while I bribe them with a life of luxury... and maybe a spa room." Kid Flash explained.

"Aw yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' bout!" Beast Boy said.

Cyborg whooped and he and his boyfriend high-fived (Cyborg having abruptly forgotten about the quietudes, apparently... In his defense though, spa rooms can do that to a person).

Nightwing had to quirk a smile at that, finding he was really appreciating all this, now that he'd come so close to having lost it. Lost his boyfriend (to nearly being a bacon beacon), anyway. "Yeah, I guess that could work." He confessed.

* * *

And, back across the country in New York City, in an apartment in the city, Batgirl and Bumblebee were just getting home.

Batgirl dropped down onto the balcony of the apartment she'd had since before the whole Titans East thing had come along for her. She and her girlfriend had been pretty much living here since their team had broken up. They went out to the tower sometimes, just to check in with the place, but it was just more convenient for them to stay here. They co-owned a tech startup together. It was called Honeycomb, and they made a variety of software and gadgets, partnering with other companies for production and distribution. Her girlfriend was kind of a genius at that kind of thing, while Batgirl herself was pretty darn good at coding apps. What was more, they had great chemistry together, as inventors and business partners just as much as they had as girlfriends and partners in crimefighting.

They had a good team of employees now though, so they just had to get them ideas and they'd run with it. They also showed up for some meetings and kept an eye on the day to day, but that typically meant they only showed up to work for an hour, or even just a half hour each day, leaving them plenty of time for the crimefighting stuff.

It was a good life, she considered, as Bumblebee fluttered down to land in front of her and their eyes caught.

They took a step into one another. Their lips met, and then they were kissing.

They just did that for long minutes, appreciating each other and what they had in life.

Then they parted and Bumblebee smiled to her. "Come on." She said, taking her by the hand and leading her inside, intent on getting them undressed, fed, and in bed where they could do in bed things just as soon as she possibly could manage it.

Letting go of BG's hand, Bumblebee yawned and went to go get something to drink. "Kale shakes?" She asked. With their nighttime activities, eating healthy was pretty much a requirement. Still, they'd managed to find a way to successfully and effectively integrate chocolate into the mix, so it didn't taste bad really.

Batgirl smiled. "Sure thing, flygirl." She agreed, yawning herself, as she started to take off her Batgirl suit for the night, definitely just as up for working off some stress in bed as her girlfriend was, even though they were both kind of tired. It was already three A.M. by this point, so they were for sure going to be sleeping in, in any case; which was another excellent thing about being their own bosses.

Her cowl, cape, and utility belt on the floor, she'd just taken off her gloves, and had sat down to do the same for her boots, when their cell phones, and the apartment phone, rang with a Titans alert. Batgirl reached for her phone, saw it was Raven calling, and turned to look to Bumblebee, who was walking over to join her.

Batgirl silenced the alert by putting it on hold when she saw it was only priority two (meaning it wasn't an imminent or in-progress villain attack or anything, but that it was, nonetheless, high priority and important).

"Wonder what that's about." Bumblebee commented as they went to the living room.

Batgirl shrugged. "It's an alert, so it's gotta be something bad." She said softly. Otherwise, Raven would just call (which she and some of the other Titans West girls did do sometimes).

"Yeah..." Bumblebee agreed resignedly as they sat down on the couch and Batgirl pulled up the call on the big screen, so they could video conference.

"Hey Raven. Hey Starfire. What's up?" Batgirl asked, seeing Raven and Starfire appear on the screen when she put the call through.

"It's Aqualad." Raven didn't waste time. "He's been hurt... Pretty bad, actually. I thought you'd want to know."

"What happened?" Bumblebee asked, concerned.

"A mob of carnivorous girls from the other dimension attempted to consume him as the snack foods." Starfire explained helpfully. "It was quite the traumatic occurrence for him, I think." She explained, cooing to Silky, whom she was holding in her arms for comfort, and also for the because that she was his foster mother and that carried with it the cooing responsibilities (among the many other types of responsibilities, of which she took all of them the seriously).

"...Oh, um, yeah... We're... on our way then." Bumblebee offered. "Right, BG?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Definitely on our way." Batgirl answered, really wishing she'd had a full night's sleep before taking this call.

It was selfish maybe, but... sheesh! Swarmed by teenage girls from another dimension who wanted to eat him like he was a late-night snack?

...Well, she guessed she really should be more surprised. But it was Aqualad.

Things like that happened with him sometimes.

It was part of his charm.

Or something.

* * *

 **Next Episode: Young Justice Go vs BATMAN! (No, Really)**

It was inevitable it would happen one day: In our next exciting episode, the Young Justice boys fight a most implacable foe: his name? BATMAN! ...You see, Brother Blood has been brainwashing C.E.O.s (as an entrepreneurial effort, you understand) and, in the process... Bruce Wayne is brainwashed too! (spoiler: Bruce Wayne, C.E.O. of Wayne Enterprises... is, in actuality, BATMAN! Shocking, I know!) Can our plucky heroes possibly defeat this implacable, muscular, oddly giggling foe? And can they also save the Commissioner Gordon damsel who's also been kidnapped during this whole hullabaloo? Maybe! (Hullabaloos can be so unpredictable.) But one thing's for sure! The way BATMAN! giggles like that? While being weirdly amusing, some of our more sensitive viewers may just find it noticeably _annoying_ as well... You've been warned.

Until next time? Have fun in life! (having fun is so underrated—seriously, some people give it three out of five stars, and I just do not get that)


	10. vs BATMAN! (no, really)

**Episode 10: Young Justice Go vs. BATMAN! (No, Really)**

* * *

"Mwahahahahahaha!" Brother Blood exclaimed from the top floor of his new company, Newblood Consulting, getting his classic evil villain maniacal laughter on. "This time, the Teen Titans won't know what hit them." He rubbed his hands together (again, maniacally). "Mwahahahahahaha!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." A shadowy caped figured joined in the evil laughter. (Spoiler: the shadowy caped figure is BATMAN!)

Annoyed, Brother Blood looked over at his new evil henchman. "Stop that." He told him.

BATMAN! did, and Brother Blood looked back to his evil villain project monitoring monitors, watching as his brainwashed C.E.O.s made him more and more money.

Behind him, BATMAN! started to laugh again, and Brother Blood smacked his forehead, running his hand down over his face. "This is going to be a _long_ evil scheme, I can just tell."

An alarm in the building went off just then. "What's this?" He asked. "Report!" He commanded one of his generic minions.

"We... have intruders, sir." The generic minion said, bringing up live security footage on the room's big screen.

"Well... That's annoying." Brother Blood muttered to himself as he watched Robin, Kid Flash, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Speedy fighting their way through his minions on the bottom floor of his headquarters. He'd just bought this headquarters a week ago, too. Really, he got no respect sometimes.

"Yes, sir." The generic minion replied. "What should we do?"

He held up a finger, telling the minion to hold that thought, then he took out his cell phone. "Hello. Yes, it's me – Right, it's the Titans again, or, the boy band version anyway. I suppose they're going by _Young Justice_ now." He sneered. "Right – Get Mumbo and get over here."

He hung up the phone and rubbed his hands together. "Without Starfire and Raven, they don't stand a chance this time."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! laughed.

Brother Blood sighed. "You'd think I'd brainwashed the Joker or something." He muttered.

* * *

"Good work so far team. Don't let up, we got this!" Nightwing called to his team, consisting of himself, his boyfriend (aka: Kid Flash), Cyborg, Cyborg's boyfriend (aka: Beast Boy), and Aqualad's boyfriend (aka: Speedy). Aqualad himself was still resting up from their battle with Mother May Eye and her many dastardly daughters. He was up on his feet and healing fast though. In a week or so, Nightwing expected to have his team all back together again.

"Hey, nice motivational speech there, bird boy." Speedy teased, the two of them fighting back to back at the moment.

That Speedy and his boyfriend had decided to join the team again, that'd been a surprise... The others had convinced him to say he was sorry and all that, and he'd swallowed his sour grapes and done it, but he honestly hadn't thought Speedy would say _yes_. He had though, for some reason. They still hadn't actually talked much about it though, and he suspected there was still resentment there.

"Whatever, just try and keep up." Nightwing told him, irritated and wondering if this whole _having Speedy back_ thing was worth it, really. Still, having only four team members looked weak. Sure, it was technically enough members to compete in crime season, but the other teams made fun of you behind your back if you couldn't get at least five.

Around the room, Kid Flash could be seen for only seconds at a time as he used his speed to weave, dodge, and punch. Beast Boy was a charging green rhinoceros at the moment, and Cyborg was using his sonic cannon with wanton disregard for the medical bills the army of generic minions that were swarming them would have to pay. Nightwing wondered absently what kind of health insurance Brother Blood was offering these idiots.

It only took about a minute more for them to mop the floor with the rest of the generic minion army, and they were left—himself, Speedy, Beast Body, and Cyborg—standing back to back in a circle. Kid Flash slowed down then. "Come on, this way." He said, pointing to a set of double doors across the room.

"Right." Nightwing agreed, and he and the team rushed to follow Kid Flash. Normally, he didn't like it when someone on his team took the lead instead of him, but, well... Kid Flash was his boyfriend, and he'd been the one who'd done the scouting ahead, so...

Through the double doors, they went down a hallway... filled with death traps, of course, but busting them all up as they went was actually kind of fun (and, not to mention, good for the team building... which was humorously ironic, given that they were currently breaking into the offices of a corporate motivational speaker who only pretended to motivationally speak to people in order to get to the nefarious mind control part of his nefariously evil scheme, btw).

At the end of the hallway, there was a bank of elevators, and a side door leading to the obligatory stairwell.

"Stairs?" Speedy offered.

"Oh, hells yeah." Beast Boy said. "Anybody remember the last time we took an elevator in one of Brother Blood's hideouts?" He put out there.

"What happened?" Speedy asked.

"It was bad." Cyborg informed the newbie.

Nightwing shivered. "You don't want to know." He said, remembering the bad times.

"Right." Speedy said. "Stairwell it is then." He agreed, going to open the door.

"Don't!" Cyborg said, firing his sonic cannon and smashing down the door.

Speedy looked from Cyborg to Nightwing "Probably electrified." Nightwing said, walking over the door debris to go be the leader.

A few more stories of death traps later, and they were on the second floor. The stairs didn't go any higher, which meant they'd probably have to fight their way through more generic minions in order to get to the entrance to the top floor villain's layer, where Brother Blood would have to be.

They emerged out into a big room, filled with (he'd been right) yet more generic minions, and also Mumbo Jumbo. "You think the Brain clones these guys and sells them wholesale or something?" Kid Flash asked.

"Wouldn't surprise me." Nightwing replied, turning his attention to Mumbo Jumbo. "Hiring yourself out as a rent-a-thug now, Mumbo? What's the matter: no one wants to hire you for kids' birthday parties anymore?" He taunted the stage magician turned criminal. It was obligatory by now, the taunting.

"Oh, I don't know, Robin." A deep and ominous voice spoke, as a path cleared in the crowd of minions for a man to walk through. "Maybe he's just moving up in the world?" Slade said, drawing his sword.

Nightwing gulped. " _Slade..._ " He said it in a low voice as he narrowed his eyes on his old arch-nemesis.

"That's right, Robin. You'll never get rid of me. Every corner you pass, every shadow seen out of the corner of your eye, every time you close your eyes at night... You'll never know when I'll be there... but one day, you've always known, I would be. Well, Robin... Today is that day." He said, all creepy and scary menacing.

"...Damn, that's one scary dude." Cyborg said.

"No doubt. No doubt." Beast Boy agreed, nodding his head.

"Come on then. Let's end this." Nightwing said, eyes still narrowed, voice all gravely and _shiver down your spine_ sexy.

"Rrrraahhhh!" Slade bellowed a charge, signaling the attack.

"Rrrraahhhh!" Nightwing bellowed a charge too, and the two sides fell into one heck of a righteous clashing fight scene (seriously, you should be weeping over the fact that this isn't an actual cartoon, so you can't actually watch this beautiful masterpiece of a bruhaha... the author hereby genuinely apologizes [without admitting to any legal liability] for any damage to your emotional wellbeing this may cause you).

Nightwing's staff struck Slade's sword. They stared hard into the whites of one another's eyes, neither giving an inch.

"Admit it: you're flirting with me right now, aren't you?" Slade asked in a foreign, yet decidedly feminine accent.

Nightwing started, surprised, and that was all the opening his adversary needed. She slid around him like water, Slade's body transforming into the diabolical shapeshifting villainess from Russia: Madame Rouge.

"Such a naive little fool you are." Madame Rouge taunted him, throwing him up and over the crowd of clashing forces, nailing that perfect three-point shot, dunking Nightwing right into a birdcage so he landed next to Commissioner Gordon, who was dressed in a white ballgown.

"Commissioner Gordon?" Nightwing asked, blinking in shock. "What in the frilly heck are _you_ doing here?" He asked, only belatedly noticing that Gordon was bound and gagged.

The commissioner inclined his head towards something though, and Nightwing looked up to see a sign. _Obligatory Damsel In Distress Here_ , Nightwing read the sign, an arrow pointing down at the two of them. "...That is so messed up." He said, making to get to his feet, and, feeling a breeze in a place he normally didn't, he looked down at himself and realized he was dressed in a white ball down too somehow. "Mumbo's magic, gotta be." He muttered to himself, absently wondering if Kid Flash would think he looked hot in this getup, or if he'd just laugh. It made him feel horribly self-conscious, so he tried to stop thinking about it.

He went to the bars of the cage, gripping them with both hands, and watched, helpless damsel-like, as the fight played out before his eyes.

* * *

"Did anyone see where Robin went?" Cyborg asked as he punched one generic minion in the face, booted a second one in the behind, and shot a sonic cannon blast at Mumbo Jumbo, who made it disappear into his hat (magicians could be frustrating like that).

"Madame Rouge was Slade, I think Nightwing's out of the fight." Speedy said.

Just then, Beast Boy went sailing by, knocked into a wall. Cyborg looked and saw a giant rouge colored gorilla who'd just done gone and punched his boyfriend! "Oh no she didn't!" Cyborg exclaimed, outraged. "Mess with my boyfriend, you gonna pay!" He said, clenching his fists, pulling his arms back to flex his cyborg muscles, puffing his chest out, and deploying the rocket launches he kept behind his shoulders for just such occasions. He launched all twenty-four missiles into the crowd of villain goons, laughing in glee at the explosions as he did (just because he knew it would freak everybody out and downright demoralize the enemy). "Shock and awe, baby—shock and awe!" He declared for all to hear. "Ahahahahahaha!" He laughed, firing yet more missiles.

When the smoke cleared, sure enough, Madame Rouge was dazedly getting to her feet, most of the generic minions were out for the count, and so was Mumbo Jumbo by the looks of things.

"Damn, brah. That was some righteous missile work you had goin' on there." Beast Boy said, having gotten back to his feet and walked over to stand beside his boyfriend. "I like you're so protective like that. Makes a boy feel lurved, ya know?"

"Aw, Beasty, you're okay." Cyborg said, the two making lurvy eyes at each other.

"Uh, guys?" Speedy said though, breaking the mood.

"What, buzzkill? What?" Beast Boy asked, annoyedly looking to where Speedy was aiming his bow and arrow. "Oh... that..." He said, watching as a shadowy bat-like figure emerged from the dissipating smoke from Cyborg's missile barrage.

Coming up behind the shadowy figure was Brother Blood, who smirked. "Hello... Young Justice. Say hello to my new friend. You may have met him, his name is BATMAN!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! laughed.

"Dude, that's really him, i'n it?" Beast Boy said.

"Dude, no way. Laughing like that? It's totally gotta be the Joker in disguise." Kid Flash put forward.

"Right?" Speedy agreed.

"Uh, no, he always laughs like that. It's his thing. You know, because it's funny, and this is a comedy show." Beast Boy countered.

"If you say so." Speedy replied, skeptical.

"Uh, guys? I think we've got bigger problems right now." Kid Flash said, even as Madame Rouge got to her feet to stand next to BATMAN! and yet more generic minions poured into the room to surround them.

"Get them!" Brother Blood commanded, and BATMAN! darted forward on the attack, laughing all the while.

Speedy shot his arrow, but BATMAN! knocked it out of the air with the back of his hand.

Beast Boy went gorilla again and made to gorilla fist punch the dude, but BATMAN! dodged and karate chopped him on the back of the neck. Beast Boy dropped like a sack of potatoes.

"Oh my cheese whiz, how'd he do that!?" Cyborg exclaimed, panicking and letting loose with all the firepower he had. As the smoke was clearing, he asked "Did I get him?"

But, alas: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." The disembodied laugh could be heard, and it seemed to come from all around him.

"Where's he at? Where!?" Cyborg demanded, spinning in a circle and firing one sonic cannon blast after another, hoping he'd get lucky and one of them would hit pay dirt.

No luck though. BATMAN! appeared like the specter of death himself behind Cyborg, and, with another karate chop, Cyborg was down too.

Kid Flash blazed in then, intent on speed punching their caped crusader foe into submission! He was just a regular guy in a bat suit, right? No match for Kid Flash. That's what he told himself anyway, but, just as he was about to strike the first speed-punch blow, BATMAN! just... wasn't there anymore. He felt a thud at the back of his neck, and the world went black.

Kid Flash was down too...

Speedy watched this from an air vent in the ceiling above. He'd seen how this was going, and he'd known they were out classed. He'd guessed BATMAN! would go after him last though, because people always thought he was less of a threat. Now though... everything was up to him.

So, no pressure, right?

* * *

An hour later, the Young Justice boys (minus Speedy) woke up in your classic evil villain secret layer sciency lab.

Kid Flash was the first, besides Nightwing (who'd missed out on the Bat-karate chopping action), to wake up. Woozily, he looked around and saw... his boyfriend in a white dress, tied up and locked into place next to him. "Dude, what's with the ball gown?" Kid Flash asked.

"Do... You think I look pretty?" Nightwing asked, nervous about what the answer would be.

Kid Flash opened his mouth to speak, but then considered the question seriously. "It's not really my thing, but, uh, yeah, I guess so." He admitted, blushing a little. He hadn't wanted to say it, but, well, Nightwing was his boyfriend now, and he didn't want to be a jerk about it with him. That just wasn't what having a boyfriend was supposed to be about. Even he knew that.

"What I wanna know is: _why_." Cyborg said. "I mean, or is it just Brother Blood has one of those fetish things, because if that's it, I do not even wanna know."

"It's Mumbo Jumbo's cage, actually." Brother Blood said, walking into the room with Madame Rouge at his side.

"He has the mustache thing on his face place, so he feels he must play up to the classic American film trope, wherein the villain ties the damsel up while twirling his mustache." Madame Rouge explained. "Is sad, but we all have our problems, yes?"

"Yeah, I don't know, I guess so." Cyborg said, not really buying it, but at the same time not really wanting to provoke these fine folks into makin' a damsel outta him too. He did NOT want that footage out on the internet where anyone could see. Because it _would_ get out. It always did. If not in this decade, then in the future where everyone realized that being heterosexual was as passe as it so obviously was already by this point, and the fanfic they were currently in got turned into a cartoon like it so obviously deserved to be (write the studio people, tell your friends, make it happen) ...Of course, by that point, guys wearing ball gowns might end up being the height of popular fashion, you just never knew, so maybe it would be okay. Just, he wasn't in the mood to be taking the chance. Staying in style was important to him. Shallow? Vain? Pretentious? Could be, but, oh well. Like the woman said: we all have our problems, yes? ...So, okay, maybe she had a point about that after all.

"Where is Mumbo Jumbo, anyway?" Nightwing asked.

Brother Blood sighed. "Coffee run." He explained.

"We are corporate honchos now. It is expected." Madame Rouge added yet more exposition.

"And, I suppose this the part where you explain your evil plan with a villainous monologue to both placate the readers and make our lives just that little bit more miserable?" Nightwing asked, actually kind of hoping it wasn't.

"Well, I was going to skip all that, just this once, because the author did actually explain it all in a few sentences in the _next episode_ teaser last episode, but since you brought it up... I think I'll just go ahead and do the monologue anyway. It is rather expected after all, don't you think?" Brother Blood said.

Everybody, including Beast Boy who'd just woken up, groaned.

"Way to go, Robin." Beast Boy said.

"My name's _Nightwing_ now." Nightwing snapped. Why couldn't people _remember_ that?

"I will be going to check in on my social media accounts now, by the way." Madame Rouge said. "Be sure to enjoy yourselves while I am gone, now." She waved over her shoulder as she left, just to rub it in.

Brother Blood took in a breath and let it out. "Now: my latest ingenious plan to gain power, wealth, and privilege. It all started when I was feeling down on my luck one day last month, just after that new team of (much more effective) Teen Titans took me down a peg when I tried to hypnotize the mayor into doing my evil bidding. By the way, can I just say how much I appreciate how considerate you boys were to come here without asking them along? It really was quite helpful."

"Yeah, yeah. Move it along already." Nightwing muttered.

"Tut tut, patience now. You wouldn't want to play into the stereotypes about how your vapid and self-absorbed generation has such a _painfully_ short attention span, now would you?" Brother Blood asked in admonishment.

"Um, hell yeah we would." Cyborg put in.

Brother Blood narrowed his eyes on him and pressed a button on the control panel he hand on his wrist. "Yes, well, no one asked you, now did they?" He sneered, the button making a metal restraint fold out to cover Cyborg's mouth so he couldn't speak.

"Hey! I mean, jeeze, dude, you just asked him that exact thing, you know—what did you expect?" Beast Boy complained, resentful.

"Jee, I don't know, what did _you_ expect?" He challenged, pressing another button to silence Beast Boy too. "Anyone else? Anyone?" Brother Blood asked peevishly.

"No, by all means, go right ahead and tell us the rest of your fascinating story." Nightwing said, monotone.

"Uh, yeah, what he said." Kid Flash added, privately calling Brother Blood a major jerk inside his head and really wishing the restraints he was in didn't shock him whenever he tried to use his speed to vibrate free. This guy was really asking for a couple _hundred_ speed punches in the face right now.

"Good." Brother Blood said, steepling his hands and doing that evil villain thing where he touched each set of his fingers together and brought them apart in sequence. "Now... As I was saying..."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." A disembodied BATMAN! laugh suddenly could be heard in the room.

Brother Blood shivered, obviously both annoyed and creeped out. He slowly turned around and, nope, no BATMAN! there. He turned back to his audience, only to find BATMAN! standing there, gazing longingly at the Commissioner Gordon damsel. Then, everybody in the room watched as he presented a single rose to the captured police commissioner.

Gordon was tied up of course, so he couldn't take the offering, and BATMAN! let it drop, looking deflated.

"Seriously, are those two dating?" Kid Flash asked his boyfriend.

"Well, yeah. Wasn't it obvious?" Nightwing replied.

"I don't know, I guess I was just trying not to think about it." Kid Flash admitted.

Nightwing shivered. "I get that." He said, kind of gravely.

Brother Blood did the slapping his face in exasperation thing again. He sighed. "Right... Well, where was I? Oh yes. I was feeling down on my luck last month, so I went out to get some coffee at the local Justice Java and I got to talking to this guy named Booster Gold. Real head for business on that one. You don't usually see that in the do-gooder set. It was a refreshing change. Anyway, so he says to me: Your name's _Brother Blood_ right? Let me guess: cult guy? And I admitted, with some chagrin, that yes, once upon a time, in my misspent youth, I did try my hand at such things (it was a different time). So he says to me: You know, there's money in that now a days. All you need is a little rebranding. Go into motivation speaking—or, be a life coach or something. Write a self-help book. Those corporate types eat that kind of thing up like candy. You wouldn't even have to break the law, not really. It's totally legit. And, sure enough, by the time he was done talking, I was hooked. So, I called up Madame Rouge and Mumbo Jumbo, because we'd been Snap Chatting with each other lately, and we gave it a shot. Roped in a few rubes, got an LLC going. Grew my brand. Pretty soon, I was getting asked to do motivational talks all _over_ the place. Including, I might add: at Wayne Enterprises... Spoiler: Bruce Wayne is apparently BATMAN! Who knew, right?"

"Shush-shh-shh-shh! We don't speak of it!" Nightwing hissed, starting to sweat a little.

"Riiiight... Well, moving on, one brainwash job later, and we had ourselves a BATMAN! Now, I have to admit, I maybe did go a little overboard hiring all those generic minions like we did (honestly, about half of them are just standing around playing _Pokemon Go_ because I don't have anything better for them to do most days), but what can I say? I _like_ having minions. What self-respecting evil mastermind doesn't, am I right?"

"It is kind of a staple of the job." Kid Flash admitted, not quite wanting to admit to himself that there were days he'd considered getting a few minions of his own, too. It just didn't match the dashing super hero image he wanted to maintain though.

"Exactly." He said, just as Mumbo came back in with the coffee. "Ah. Many thanks." He gratefully accepted the mocha latte with cinnamon from his business partner.

"Eh, it was my turn." Mumbo said. "How's it been going while I was gone?" He asked, twirling his mustache while looking at Nightwing in a decidedly dastardly fashion.

"Stop looking at me like that! I'm a delicate flower, and I deserve respect! Respect, I say!" Nightwing demanded.

"Yeah, yeah. Tell it to H.R." Mumbo said, yawning. "You're about to be employees of ours, after all, don't you know." He explained, adding in a classical villain laugh to drive home the point.

"Employees?" Nightwing asked, getting a sinking feeling.

"Ah, yes. I was getting to that part. You see, after the requisite monologuing, I was planning on hypnotizing you into becoming my minions too, just like that... mentor of yours." Brother Blood said, eying BATMAN! dubiously, as he was currently plucking petals from the flower he'd been trying to give to Commissioner Gordon in a _he loves me, he loves me not_ sort of fashion. "I figure, with your team on my side, added to our own forces, we'll be sure to stand a decent chance when the Teen Titans inevitably try to stop us."

"Yeah... That's not going to happen." Kid Flash said, voice newly confident, having caught sight of Speedy up in the air duct, who'd just given him a _be ready to make your move_ hand signal.

At Kid Flash's words, Speedy dropped down into the room, firing off an arrow into the shock machine that was preventing Kid Flash from using his super speed to escape. He rolled as he came down, firing a second arrow that knocked Mumbo Jumbo's wand out of his hand, and, by the time he'd gotten to his feet, Kid Flash had himself, Nightwing, Cyborg, and Beast Boy all free and ready for a fight.

Nightwing growled. "Young Justice, it's time for some payback!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! started to laugh, but Kid Flash picked up Mumbo's wand.

"Mumbo Whatever-oh!" Kid Flash flourished the wand at BATMAN!, and the caped crusader instantly fell through a hole in the floor underneath him and ended up in a dress, bound and gaged next to Commissioner Gordon.

"Well, this is quite unfortunate, now isn't it?" Brother Blood said.

Just then, there was the sound of helicopters, and police stormed the room, pointing assault rifles at Brother Blood and Mumbo Jumbo.

"I surrender." Mumbo Jumbo said, putting up his hands.

Officers came into the room, leading a captured Madame Rouge in, followed by... "Commissioner Gordon?" Cyborg asked, looking between the newly arrived police commissioner and his counterpart in the damsel getup in the cage across the room next to BATMAN! "Whaaaaat?"

"Yeah, brah, I so don'ts get this." Beast Boy said, scratching his noggin in confusion.

"Allow me, son." Commissioner Gordon said, striding across the room, taking the wand from Kid Flash (who was just standing there not knowing what to do next either by that point) as he went. When he got to the cage, he tapped the wand against it, and the two captive damsels tumbled out onto the floor at his feet, blinking up at him in guilty bewilderment.

Commissioner Gordon then pulled a mask off of the damsel Gordon, revealing... the Riddler! "And..." Gordon said, pulling BATMAN!'s mask off next.

Nightwing gasped. "Noooo!" He pleaded, fearful that his mentor's secret was about to be exposed for all the world to see (and by none other than his very own S.O. no less!). He stopped in his tracks though, dumbstruck, when it turned out the guy under the mask wasn't Bruce Wayne at all, but instead...

"Huh, what d'you know. It really was the Joker after all." Cyborg said. "Did not see that coming at all!" He said.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." The Joker laughed.

"Wait, what?" Nightwing said, looking around, utterly bewildered. "Then... Where's BATMAN!?"

"He-hem." Mumbo Jumbo spoke up, slipping effortlessly out of the handcuffs the police had put him in and removing his own face, which, as it turned out, was also a mask, only to reveal...

Everyone gasped. "BATMAN!" Speedy said.

(As it turns out folks, it was really all just a clever scheme by the real BATMAN! You see, when he went out on that coffee run before, he, in actuality, was also calling in the cops. Don't be too disgruntled though, dear readers, for you see, Young Justice did actually do battle with the real BATMAN!, only, he was masquerading as none other than Mumbo Jumbo at the time! Such a startling plot twist! Aren't you impressed?)

(Oh, and, if you're wondering about the damsel dresses, and where he got Mumbo's wand, wonder no more: He appropriated the wand previously, when he and his S.O. took down the real Mumbo, and he decided to go with the whole damsel bit as payback on the Joker and Riddler for messing with his image all those years on Teen Titans Go! He hadn't planned on Nightwing getting caught in the cage too, but those kinds of experiences are character building, right? So it all turned out great in the end, didn't it? n_n)

Cyborg shook his head. "Did not see that one coming either! Man, what a day for surprises, am I right?"

Nightwing fainted in a swoon then, unable to take it anymore.

Kid Flash speeded over and caught him though, like any truly gallant boyfriend would.

"Kid Flash, is that you?" Nightwing asked, woozily blinking his eyes open to gaze up at his lurv interest.

"Yeah, it's me." Kid Flash said, voice deep and romantic sounding.

"Oh, thank goodness. You wouldn't believe the dream I was having." Nightwing said.

"Shush, my dear. It's all over now. You're safe." Kid Flash soothed.

"Kiss me?" Nightwing asked.

"As if I'd ever say no." Kid Flash murmured dreamily, even as Cyborg busted out his boom box and played _The Night Begins To Shine_. Everyone took a partner and began to waltz.

Then Kid Flash and Nightwing kissed in classic romance novel fashion.

End scene!

* * *

All that drama done, it was the next day now and, at lunch time, Nightwing (now dressed as Nightwing again) disgruntledly barged into a certain branch of Justice Java.

He paused just inside the entrance, looked around, found the guy he was looking for and walked over to his table.

"Hey. You. Booster guy." He said, tapping Booster Gold on the shoulder.

Booster Gold, who'd been sipping espresso and talking into his cell phone in an obnoxiously loud manner (causing the people around him to give him dirty looks and say disparaging things about him amongst themselves), turned and looked at him. "Look, little guy, I'm on the phone here. Can whatever this is wait?" Booster asked.

"No. It can't. We've got a staff meeting scheduled..." Nightwing said in a snidely annoyed sort of voice. He then proceeded to haul off and staff meeting Booster just as hard as he possibly could in the knee with his Nightwing staff (formerly known as his Robin staff).

Booster howled in pain, crumpled to the floor, spilling his coffee, rolling from side to side and trying to shake it off.

"Staff meeting!" He struck again. "Staff meeting! Staff meeting!" He wailed on the guy.

"You deserved that." Nightwing hissed to him before turning to walk out the door again.

Back at Booster Gold's table, Booster, wiping tears from his cheeks, managed to get himself back up and into his chair, looking much the worse for wear. "Jeeze, what's that's guy's problem, anyway?" He asked, voice cracking as he turned to look behind him. He gasped, seeing BATMAN! standing there.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." BATMAN! laughed, pointing at him derisively.

"...Okay, seriously. Level with me: You're secretly the Joker in disguise, aren't you?" Booster asked the guy.

* * *

And, one motorcycle ride later, back at Young Justice HQ, Nightwing walked in from the elevator and saw Beast Boy and Cyborg playing video games. Over in the kitchen, Speedy was making sandwiches and talking with Aqualad, who was sitting at the counter, nursing a soda.

Speedy waved to him, Aqualad turned and waved too. Nightwing waved back, then headed through the room to go find Kid Flash in the bedroom they shared.

He walked in the room and stopped to stare.

"Money... Money... Money..." Kid Flash was repeating happily to himself while rolling on the bed on a pile of, you guessed it: lots and lots of stolen money.

"Um, yeah, hey boyfriend. How's it going." Nightwing greeted him, setting his staff to leaning by the door and walking into the room over towards the bed.

Kid Flash sat up cross-legged. "It's going great. You know, you wouldn't think so, but it is actually strangely satisfying just to spread the money you stole from a crook out on your bed and start rolling in it for a while. You wouldn't think it would work like that, but it does. Wanna roll with me?" He asked, trying to be tempting.

Nightwing considered that a second, index finger to chin. "Sure, why not." He agreed, figuring he could at least give it a shot. Even if it was boring or something, it was boyfriend bonding time anyway, and you needed that sort of thing to maintain a healthy relationship. That was important for his long term plans. Plans which included the white ball gown he was keeping in his closet to wear on his wedding day... sometime soon, he hoped... (wistful internal sigh).

So he took off his shoes, got up on the bed, and got to the money rolling. "Money... Money... Money..." They both said as they rolled.

"You know, you're right." Nightwing said a few minutes later, him and Kid Flash having sat back up to talk. "That was... actually surprisingly fun."

"See, told you." Kid Flash said. "But, hey, where'd you go off to anyway?" He asked.

"Just a little payback. The video's already on YouTube. Wanna see?" Nightwing asked.

"Heck yeah." Kid Flash replied.

So, Nightwing got out his phone and found the video he'd watched and laughed at on the elevator ride up a few minutes ago. Turned out one of the people at a nearby table at Justice Java had recorded the whole thing on her smart phone and posted it.

Kid Flash watched avidly, then, predictably, burst out laughing. "You are such a cool boyfriend to have right now, you know that right?" He told Nightwing, giving him a playful shove on the shoulder.

"Heh. I know, right?" Nightwing said, smiling a little shyly, and feeling his cheeks heat.

"Weird about the whole BATMAN! thing though, right?" Kid Flash asked.

Nightwing moaned and laid back on his back on the bed full of money (which Kid Flash had stolen at super speed while the rest of the team had distracted the cops with their usual antics). "I don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, I guess I can get that... I'm, you know, here for you though, if that ever changes, okay?" Kid Flash offered.

Nightwing turned his head to the side to meet Kid Flash's eyes, offering him a smile. "Thanks for that."

"Hey, what are boyfriends for, right?" Kid Flash asked.

* * *

 **Next Episode: How Shimmer Left Home And Set Off On Her Own!**

Aw, wasn't this episode just super romantic, everyone? And such a surprise about that whole Joker is BATMAN! in disguise thing, am I right? (total shocker!) Anyway, in our next episode, the secret history of Shimmer and Mother Mae Eye's daughters is revealed at last! I know, I know, we've waited so long... you're probably a little teary that you're finally going to have an answer to the big mystery. It's okay, I'll give you a moment to compose yourself :P Seriously though, you probably WEREN'T wondering about that all that much, but I wrote it anyway, because it was fun for me n_n

Prepare for one of the most entertaining emotional rollercoaster rides you ever been on folks—don't you dare miss it!

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..."

(jeeze, BATMAN!, enough already... episode's over now)


	11. How Shimmer Left Home

**Episode 11: How Shimmer Left Home And Set Off On Her Own**

* * *

Three months ago in Jump City, way down the coast from Titans Tower, there sat a Mister Whiskers Cat Food Company manufacturing plant. Only, the thing was, they... didn't actually make _cat_ food there anymore.

Shimmer yawned. It was early in the morning, and the sunshine was lighting up her room, but she didn't want to get up yet. Beside her, Pixy moaned in complaint. "Still sleepy." She murmured.

Shimmer giggled softly and cuddled in closer to her. "Shhh, it's okay. We don't have to get up yet." She promised her.

"Mm, okay..." Pixy agreed, dozing off again. Shimmer closed her eyes and sighed, feeling better about sleeping in for a little while longer. It wasn't just her bed though, she shared it with her twin sister Glimmer, and another set of twins named Mixy & Pixy. There were limited amounts of beds available, and she had lots and _lots_ of sisters. Besides, she really liked having Glimmer, Mixy, and Pixy close to her. She'd always had Glimmer with her, and they'd had Pixy  & Mixy with them since not long after they were born. She couldn't imagine not having them with her forever, or at least until she died (which was hopefully _not_ going to be anytime soon).

Momma had told them that when they took over Earth and had all the food they'd ever need, that they'd live out in the open and wouldn't have to hide anymore. They'd be in charge and could have homes of their own, and that some of them might even end up being mommas themselves one day. You had to be strong to be a momma though, so... Shimmer didn't know if she ever would. She didn't know if she wanted to, either. Pixy might though. Pixy was strong. She almost never lost at sparring. Shimmer lost all the time... probably because she could never manage to really _want_ to fight anyone. She did it because she was expected to, but she knew her heart wasn't in it.

Some of their sisters thought she was weird, and, she had to admit, that did bother her... But Shimmer, Mixy, and Pixy didn't think that. They loved her, and they always took care of her.

She daydreamed sometimes of when they took over Earth, that they'd have a house of their own together.

She honestly wished that momma would just listen to Whimsy and Mimsy though, about the cloning thing. Then they could skip the _taking over the Earth_ part and just have normal lives, like the humans she snuck out to see sometimes. Glimmer didn't like her doing that, but had made her promise to always take her along when she went. Pixy and Mixy came along sometimes too.

It bothered her, really... the idea of eating them. A lot of them looked weird, it was true (sometimes even downright bizarre), but some of them looked just like _they_ did... just, you know, with only two eyes for some reason. She couldn't quite get herself to feel alright with eating another girl, just because she only had two eyes. A lot of her sisters felt the same way about it and preferred eating the boy humans whenever there was a choice about it.

Someone stirred in bed with her; either Mixy or Glimmer, she knew, because she was snuggled into Pixy way too much for her not to notice if it was her. Someone yawned then, and Shimmer could tell it was Mixy, because Glimmer's yawned sounded just like her own yawn, just like Mixy's sounded like Pixy's. A lot of her sisters were twins, about two-thirds. Apparently, that was about a typical ratio for Zemrals. Even momma had had a twin when she'd been growing up back on one of the home worlds; but momma's twin, Fae, had become a momma first, and Mae had followed her off-world and through a dimensional portal, along with some of their other sisters, and Fae's first batch of daughters. They'd been attacked by Thanagarians though, and Mae had gotten scared. She'd run away and come here.

It'd taken a long time for her to get strong enough to become a momma.

Shimmer understood wanting to run away sometimes though. If she thought Glimmer, Pixy, and Mixy would go with her, she definitely _would_ run away... probably. She was worried about food though. Here, the others hunted humans for them, while the four of them were assigned to space ship construction. She didn't want to hunt humans, so she needed to come up with a different food they could eat. If she could do that. If she had a plan... If she did, then she thought she could probably convince Pixy to run away with her. Maybe not because of the not having to eat humans things (she knew Pixy didn't feel the same way about that that she did), then she thought she might be able to convince Pixy that momma's plans were too dangerous, and that it would be better to go find someplace safe until they found out if momma ended up winning or not.

If she convinced Pixy, then Pixy would convince Mixy and Glimmer, and Mixy and Glimmer would for sure follow along. Mixy and Glimmer almost always did what Pixy said, because she was stronger. Shimmer herself didn't necessarily think that was fair, just following her because she was better at sparring, but... it wasn't like she didn't want to make Pixy happy either, but that was for a different reason: because Pixy was her girlfriend and she really, really liked kissing her, having sex with her, and snuggling up with her in bed like she was now. She just... wished Pixy would listen to _her_ more.

Oh, Pixy cared about her, and was always super protective of her, growling at anyone who said Shimmer was weird, but she... sometimes got the feeling she just did it because it was how it had always been. Her and Pixy, Glimmer and Mixy. It felt like they'd always been a set. Sure, they all had other friends, but they were almost always together.

Still, even for all that, Pixy just... never seemed to want to really _understand_ her somehow. She could talk and talk, and Pixy would listen, but not _really_ listen. She'd just say she had a pretty voice and silly ideas and ask if they could make out, which lead to sex. That part, Shimmer liked of course, but, in a way, it also... made her feel kind of lonely.

Glimmer listened to her more, and even kind of agreed with her sometimes, but, Shimmer could tell, she didn't really want anything to change. She liked things like they were and always said that things would be better when they conquered Earth like momma was planning to do.

Maybe also, she felt jealous of Glimmer sometimes, of how her relationship with Mixy was better than hers and Pixy's felt some days.

"Sister..." Glimmer said, and Shimmer felt hands on her shoulder rocking her. "Shimmer, wake up already... Wake up..." Glimmer insisted, whining a little.

Shimmer moaned in protest. "Why...?" She asked.

"I'm hungry." Glimmer explained. "Mixy is too."

"I am..." Mixy said, yawning. "Can't you smell the new food?" She asked.

Shimmer groaned a little, because _of course_ she could smell it, now that they'd said it. "You go." Shimmer told her stubbornly, just wanting to stay in bed with Pixy, who was always super lazy in the mornings. Shimmer liked that about her.

Glimmer seemed to hesitate. "You should come with us though. It's weird going places without you." She complained.

"It is weird." Mixy agreed, crawling over to the other side to start to nudge at Pixy. "Come on, Pixy. Hungry now..." She complained to her sister.

Then, of course, Glimmer started doing it again too, to her, and Shimmer couldn't help but start giggling at how silly this was.

Pixy, predictably, pounced on Mixy after a while and they started to roll around tousling with each other. Only in play, of course. They always did that though, and Mixy always let Pixy win... or, at least, never seemed to really _try_ to win.

Shimmer sat up, yawning, and watching Pixy and Mixy with a bemused smile as Glimmer wrapped her arms around her shoulders from behind and lay her chin on her shoulder. "Love you, sister sister." Glimmer said what they always said to each other. Shimmer didn't know which of them had started it, but they were the only two who she'd ever heard saying it. It meant that, even though they were all sisters, twins seemed even more like sisters, double sisters.

"Love you, sister sister." Shimmer said back, nuzzling with her sister and feeling happy all over when Glimmer kissed her on the cheek.

Meanwhile, Pixy and Mixy had collapsed into their usual heap and were giggling with each other like they'd invented having fun. Pixy got up then, untangling herself from her sister. She went over to Simmer then and started kissing he good morning. "Morning..." Pixy murmured to her, sounding all sexy.

Shimmer was so weak when Pixy used that voice on her. "Morning." She said back, blushing a little and feeling lovesick, but also wistful because of what she'd been thinking about before, and because she knew they were going to go eat now, and she... really didn't want to think about what, or, um, you know, _who_ they were going to be eating.

* * *

It was that day, after sparring practice, that Whimsy and Mimsy came over to them and said they'd all done well enough to qualify to go out as a hunting pack. Shimmer's mouth dropped open a little and she felt stupid for having put in so much more effort at sparring today because she was feeling so frustrated with things.

Whimsy gave her a sympathetic look when she saw her expression, but Shimmer didn't say anything and they left to go do whatever science things they did. Whimsy was her friend... So was Mimsy, kind of, but she and Whimsy talked sometimes, whereas Mimsy mostly only talked to her twin sister. Up until now, Shimmer, Glimmer, Pixy, and Mixy had all been assigned to ship building, you see, and Whimsy and Mimsy were in charge of that. They were in charge of most things, really, when you came down to it. The practical side of things, anyway. They were two of the oldest, and they were also probably the smartest.

Pixy looked happy, her and Mixy were jumping up and down and celebrating... Even though she knew Mixy was probably mostly just happy because Pixy was. Shimmer was like that where Glimmer was concerned a lot too, so she got what it was like to feel that way. Twins were just... closer than normal sisters were somehow. Even Whimsy and Mimsy didn't know why exactly, Shimmer had asked once. Anyway, that's probably why Glimmer was looking at her, looking indecisive and sympathetic, even though Shimmer could tell that she kind of wanted to be excited about the news too.

They were Zemrals, after all. This was supposed to just be a part of that, just part of what their species was all about. She knew that wasn't always true though, not exactly. Whimsy and Mimsy were proof of that. _They_ didn't want to hunt humans either, they wanted to do cloning, and some others agreed with them about it too. Not momma though, and no one wanted to go against her, not really. She was momma, after all. You couldn't help but want to do what she said, want to make her proud and happy... Shimmer felt that way too, but, the trouble was, she didn't feel that way _enough_ , apparently.

It was depressing.

Pixy caught her eyes then, all smiling, but then she tilted her head in question, the smile replaced by puzzlement. She went over and sat next to her. "What's wrong?" Pixy asked. "This is good news... right?" She asked.

Shimmer sighed. Pixy could be... kind of dense sometimes. She'd known that. "You know I don't like it very much. You know, eating humans like we do?" She said, even as Glimmer sat down behind her and hugged her for comfort. It did make her feel better. It always did.

Pixy sighed. "Yeah... I guess. But we can't do Whimsy's cloning thing; momma said. So, why not at least have fun, right?" She offered. "We have to eat, you know that. What if I promise we only hunt boy humans?" She offered.

"I'm all for that." Mixy agreed. "Eating other girls is weird, even if they're human ones." She said.

"You don't have to actually do the hunting part if you don't want to, either." Pixy offered, sounding optimistic and all looking on the bright side. "You and Glimmer can just be the lookouts. Mixy and me can take care of the actual hunting part." Pixy finished hopefully.

Shimmer let out a breath. "Yeah... okay." She agreed reluctantly, not seeing that she had much of a choice. It was obvious Pixy was right. They had to eat, and she didn't have a plan for how else they could do that. Not yet, anyway.

Pixy broke out into a happy smile and kissed her. "Just wait, you'll have fun after all. You'll see. And I'll keep you safe too. Just try? To have fun with this? For me, okay?" She asked, still hopeful, like she thought that, once Shimmer actually tried hunting for herself, that of course she'd realize that it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. Shimmer had her doubts. Now, more than ever, in fact.

Maybe that was cowardly—maybe _she_ was cowardly—but it'd been easier to just go along when she'd never actually seen the hunting part... She'd seen the food preparation once, but she'd just... tried not to think about it after that. It hadn't worked, really, the not thinking about it... and now, she couldn't just play pretend anymore, could she?

She let out a breath. "Yeah, okay." Shimmer agreed, part of her wondering if it was possible Pixy could be right about things? She didn't know if she wanted that or not. She didn't think she did... but she also didn't like feeling this way, either. It would be so much easier if she didn't... So much easier, if she was just more like the others were about this.

* * *

Later, that afternoon, Pixy, using one of Whimsy and Mimsy's human life signs trackers, had led them to an old abandoned factory where there were three boy humans had gotten themselves separated from their herd somehow. Pixy said it was perfect for a hunt, especially their first one, where they especially didn't want to take any chances.

Shimmer at least agreed with the _not taking any chances_ part, and so did the others of course, both because it made sense and because it was Pixy saying it.

After they arrived, Shimmer got given the human tracker and the others went inside, leaving her to watch to make sure more humans didn't come here. Inside, Glimmer would be the inside lookout, and act as reinforcement if Pixy and Mixy ran into trouble, while Pixy and Mixy would do the hunting part. They didn't need the tracker for that anymore, so Shimmer could use it to help her keep watch. Even Shimmer could tell there were humans inside by the scent when they were _this_ close. Pixy, Mixy, and Glimmer would have no trouble at all finding the humans inside that building, none of her sisters would in their place. It would be harder for Glimmer to make herself hang back than it would be for Pixy and Mixy to find the humans. Even now, Shimmer herself did feel a small urge to go inside and help them... hunt with them.

They were a family, and, momma always said, it was their responsibility to always make sure they all had enough to eat. Shimmer understood that, really she did. She _felt_ it. She felt that bond, between her own heart and her sisters. Especially to Glimmer's heart, and to Pixy's and Mixy's. She just... wished there was another way.

She was a little distracted by her thoughts by this point, so she was surprised when she caught another human scent on the breeze. It was close too, closer than it should be. She looked down at her humans tracker and felt dread wash over her when she saw that, yeah, one was heading right this way.

Nervous and indecisive, she tried to think of what she should do.

Pixy would say that she had to hunt this one too, if it got close enough that it might discover them. Secrecy was a rule, and momma would be so very, very upset with them if Shimmer failed to keep the secret. She wouldn't just blame _her_ either, she'd blame Glimmer, Pixy, and Mixy too, Shimmer was sure of it. They were a hunting pack now, after all, and that meant they were all responsible to keep each other safe and to make sure the rules were always followed.

She sat there on the roof of the building, frozen with fretting, when she saw her: The girl, walking toward her, towards the building.

Shimmer swallowed. Even from here, she looked pretty... like someone you could really enjoy kissing with for sure...

She let out a breath, and, just like that, it was simple: she had to save that girl. She couldn't live with herself otherwise.

So, she jumped down off the three story factory and landed on her feet (Zemrals can fall from pretty much any height and not get hurt, you might recall). Then she headed off towards the girl, closing her third eye and hiding it, trying to make herself look and act as human as possible. They all practiced this at home. It was mandatory, so they'd all be able to survive if they ever got separated from the others somehow.

She rushed on towards the girl, only slowing down when she came within view of her.

The girl saw her and looked startled, but then relaxed and seemed to come to the conclusion that she wasn't a threat. Shimmer knew she wasn't, but she also knew that she was _supposed_ to be.

"Hi!" Shimmer called to her.

"Hi..." The girl said back, looking at her in... kind of a flirty way. Shimmer smiled, the attention making her feel good. "I um, wasn't expecting... So, what's your name? I'm Macy." The girl introduced herself.

"Oh, uh, right. My name's Shimmer." Shimmer told her, immediately realizing she should have used a fake name, because human girls weren't normally named the same way momma had named _them_. For one thing, it was traditional among Zemrals that, for twins, their names always had to rhyme together. Shimmer liked that tradition though. Still, she should have called herself... Sally or something, right? That had been part of the training on secret keeping, now that she thought about it, but, oh well, too late.

"Shimmer, huh? That's a pretty name." Macy said, stepping closer.

"You think so?" Shimmer asked, pleased and relieved (also flattered).

"Yeah, totally." Macy said. "So, um, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" She asked.

Thinking fast, Shimmer shrugged. "Just walking, really. It's um, it's easier to think sometimes, if there's no one else around." She explained, hoping the lie would convince Macy. At least it was true that she really _did_ think that about walking and how it was easier to think that way sometimes.

"Yeah... I get that." Macy said, sounding like she really did.

"Is um... Is that why you came here too?" Shimmer ventured, realizing she had to move this along faster, otherwise the others might come out and see what she was doing, then... well, Shimmer didn't want to have to try to deal with that. It would be awkward, and she wasn't entirely sure Pixy wouldn't insist on taking Macy home as food if she thought Macy might suspect them of human hunting. That was part of mamma's _keep the secret_ rule, after all: _take no chances_ ; which, in this case, might mean _when it doubt, eat the witness_. Of course, they could use the third eye trick instead, but... it didn't always stick when you did that. It did more often than not, but, really, that wasn't actually what it was meant for. It was meant to capture food, not convince food they'd never seen you. You had to do it right for that part to work, and it wasn't easy to tell when you got it wrong. It depended on the human, and on you, and Shimmer didn't really have that much practice at it (neither did Pixy, Mixy, or Glimmer for that matter).

Macy shook her head. "I wish. No, I came here looking for my stupid brother, Devin. He and his friends hang out here sometimes, doing parkour or whatever. It's dangerous though, you know? Mom _hates_ that he does it." She admitted to her.

"...Your brother, huh?" Shimmer asked, feeling guilt well up inside her, threatening to overwhelm her. She knew that human mommas could give birth to both species of humans, so a boy human could be a girl human's sister, or, yeah, they called it _brother_ when it was a boy human, like Macy had just said. Which seemed just... really weird, she had to admit, but humans were aliens, so, she figured it just made sense that things would work different with them. She didn't understand it, really, and it made her curious to find out more about them, but that wasn't important right now. She thought about what she'd feel like if she was in Macy's place, and it was Glimmer in that factory, being hunted for food... She shivered, and couldn't stand thinking about it for more than a few seconds before her mind just refused to let her keep going there. The way it had started to make her feel... she'd never felt that way before, and she didn't want to ever again.

"Yeah, he's kind of a goof, but I still gotta love him, you know?" Macy said.

Shimmer swallowed. "Um, yeah... Yeah, I know." Shimmer admitted, no longer at all in the mood to flirt or anything. She needed to get Macy _away_ from here, but... what about Macy's brother? "You um, you want me to help you look for him?" She asked, totally making this up as she went.

"Yeah, I'd... really like the company, actually. Thanks." Macy told her, sounding a little shy, but also grateful to her for offing to help her.

Shimmer bit her lower lip, feeling like she needed a shower or something. She knew Macy wasn't trying to, but it was like everything she said was purposefully designed to make Shimmer feel worse about... well, almost everything, really... "Come on, let's go find that brother of yours then." Shimmer said, reaching out to take Macy's hand and opening her third eye as she did. She didn't know if she'd be able to make Macy forget this forever, but, right now, that didn't matter to her as much to her as protecting her did.

Macy gasped, her eyes opening wider, even as Shimmer used her third eye to go inside Macy's mind and make her hers. "Mine now..." Shimmer said the words she'd been taught to say, voice soft and guilt-ridden.

"Yours now." Macy agreed, looking at her adoringly, waiting to be told what to do.

"Come on. I've um, I've gotta find some place to hide you, so you'll be safe." She told her.

"Okay. Whatever you want." Macy agreed easily, letting Shimmer sweep her up in her arms and carry her far enough away so that the others wouldn't be able to sniff her out very easily.

"Hold on tight." She told Macy. Macy did, snuggling up to her, completely trusting her (which only made Shimmer feel like she needed to protect her all the more). Shimmer ran fast, as fast as she could, towards the apartment building next door. When she got there, she knocked on the first door she came to. An old lady answered and Shimmer used her third eye on her and told her to take care of Macy until she got back. She told Macy not to worry, that she'd get her brother back for her. Macy seemed grateful... but she didn't know if that was real, or because she'd captured her mind... She didn't exactly feel that great about that part either, the taking over Macy's mind thing, when Macy had already trusted in her... It felt like she'd betrayed her. Which, yeah, okay... she'd kind of done that... but it had been for a good reason, she told herself.

With Macy safe, Shimmer turned and ran back towards the factory, trying frantically to figure out how she was going to convince the others to let Devin go... preferably, without telling them about Macy. By the time she came to a stop though, seeing Pixy, Mixy, and Glimmer coming out of the factory, each with a human boy slung over their shoulder, she still had no idea what she was going to do or say.

"Shimmer, there you are!" Pixy called to her in relief, and the others rushed over to surround her, concerned.

"What happened?" Glimmer asked, anxious, touching Shimmer's shoulder and looking her over, trying to satisfy herself that Shimmer wasn't hurt at all.

"Were we discovered?" Mixy asked, looking around them, worried.

"Um..." Shimmer shook her head. "No, um, I mean... not exactly?" She found herself saying. Okay, so this obviously wasn't going to work. She'd never had to lie to Pixy or Mixy before, and _for sure_ not to Glimmer. She was somehow pretty certain that her brain would just plain refuse to cooperate with her if she even tried to do _that_. She'd... just have to tell the truth and hope for the best. They'd take her side... wouldn't they?

"What's that mean?" Pixy asked, furrowing her brow.

"There... was a girl. Her name was Macy. She was nice. She came here, looking for her brother, Devin." Shimmer explained.

"One of these, you mean?" Mixy asked, talking about the human boys they'd just caught to eat.

"Um, yeah... I pretended to be a human and I talked to her for a little while." Shimmer told her.

"So, where is she then?" Pixy asked, clearly confused and not getting it; which... wasn't surprising. Pixy usually took a while to understand things; when she even bothered to try, that was. It made sense that Pixy was wondering though, really, now that Shimmer thought about it. If Macy _had_ come here looking for her brother, then how had Shimmer made her leave without doing the eye thing, which they _weren't_ supposed to do on humans that they weren't planning to eat?

"Safe." Shimmer admitted reluctantly.

"...What did you do, Shimmer?" Pixy asked, sounding worried now.

"I told you: I kept her safe. I did the eye thing, but I could tell it worked, I'm sure it did." Shimmer told her, realizing it was true that she was. She'd felt a connection there, and somehow felt like, because Macy had been flirting with her and was attracted to her, it would make her more, um... more vulnerable to her. "She doesn't know about us, I... I like her. I... I want to give her her brother back." She told her, told them, taking a stand on this because she felt like she had to.

The others looked between themselves, none of them looking like they knew what to do next.

"But... They're food. We caught them." Mixy said about the human boys they'd caught, sounding like she really didn't like the idea of giving up food. Shimmer understood that. Food was... really important, and the idea of giving it up once it was hers wasn't easy to make herself want to do either, but... it felt like stopping Macy from being sad was even _more_ important. More important to her right now than almost anything else.

"So? It's... It's just one human. We can get more. There are plenty." Shimmer pleaded. She wasn't exactly as okay with the _get more_ part anymore either, but it wasn't like she just... They had to eat—all of them did, even her. She realized they had to be practical about it. She did... Sort of, anyway. "Can't we just let this one go? Please?" She asked, hopefully.

Pixy opened her mouth as if to say something, but then stopped, furrowing her brow in thought.

"Are you sure about this, Shimmer?" Glimmer asked, sounding conflicted. She wanted the food because it felt like hers now, and that wasn't a feeling that was easy to go against, but she also didn't want to go against her twin. Shimmer understood that, really she did. She felt the same way whenever she and Glimmer disagreed about something. It just felt... The urge to make the feeling stop could be really strong, so she knew Glimmer had to be feeling pulled in two directions right now. Shimmer felt bad about that, really she did... but saving Macy's brother was worth it. Glimmer would understand if she'd met Macy too, Shimmer was sure of it.

"I am sure." Shimmer told her earnestly. "I really am." She told her, feeling like she could finally say that about something, and... it was a very good feeling.

"What does this mean though?" Mixy asked.

They all looked to her. "What does what mean?" Shimmer asked, not catching on.

"Well... I know you... You have feelings about this, about humans, I mean. You don't like eating them, do you?" Mixy asked. She wasn't saying it to be mean though, she was saying it because she cared, Shimmer could tell that easily.

"I..." Shimmer sighed, and had to shake her head. "No, I mean... they taste yummy, I know that... and I know there's not anything else to eat, except maybe if Whimsy and Mimsy-"

"But they won't." Mixy pointed out gently, interrupting her. "They've said they won't go against momma for that, so we can't eat clones. So... is it... is it just this one human, because um, because his sister's a cute human girl who flirted with you or something? Because I could get that, anyone could. Human girls look just like us mostly, so it's easy to want to do flirty sex things with them instead of eat them, so... it's hard sometimes." Mixy and Glimmer had had threesome sex with one once, one of the times they'd snuck out together, so Shimmer knew she was talking from experience. "So, if that's all it is, then okay, but, Shimmer... is that really all it is?" She asked.

"I..." But Shimmer let out a breath in defeat. Mixy was just... way too smart about emotions and things sometimes. Shimmer shook her head _no_. "It's not just Macy." She admitted. "I um... I want to find another way; you know, if I can?" She offered. She'd talked about this with them before, they all knew it, but this was the first time she was really... taking a stand over it.

"...Momma wouldn't like it." Pixy finally spoke. "You'll... You'll get us in trouble, if she finds out." She told her, sounding as worried and as unsure of herself as Shimmer had ever heard her.

"We can run away though." Shimmer told her, taking Pixy's hands in hers, and speaking with passion and conviction, wishing with all her heart for Pixy to understand this and support her, finally. "I know... It's not really that much of a plan, but we can just go. We can hunt humans on our own when we need to, and, maybe we can find some kind of Earth animal we can eat instead? Either way, we can do what we want, not what momma wants. I don't want to fight the humans, I don't want to conquer Earth or any of that stuff. Can't we just... Can't we just go and try to find a better life on our own? Just the four of us?" She asked, looking from Pixy, to Glimmer, to Mixy, then back to Pixy again.

"I..." Pixy let out a breath and slumped her shoulders, closing her eyes. Everyone was quiet, waiting for Pixy to say something. Pixy looked up, opened her eyes, and met Shimmer's eyes again. "You really do mean all that, don't you?" She asked, looking hurt and confused.

"I do, Pixy. I really do." Shimmer told her, full of hope.

Pixy just looked back at her, brow furrowed in thought again. Then, slowly, she shook her head. "I don't want to leave home, Shimmer. I'm sorry. You can... You can have the brother human, I guess, but... I... I just don't feel the same way about this you do. I think momma's plan's good, and I _want_ to help her. When we win, we'll have all the food we'll ever need. We'll be safe—all of us will." She told her, and Shimmer knew that protecting their sisters was an important thing to Pixy, even more than it was for the rest of them. It was one of the main things that made Pixy Pixy, Shimmer had known that. "We won't have to _hide_ anymore." She said. "We're _supposed_ to eat humans, Shimmer. I know you... but can't you feel it? Can't you scent it? They're food— _our_ food. You're... You're almost the only one who wants to do things a different way. I love you Shimmer, but that... that doesn't mean I have to think you're right about these things. Can't you just... I mean, can't we just keep things the way they've always been? We can... We can ask Whimsy and Mimsy not to make us go hunting anymore. We can just go back to building the ships." She told her, almost pleading. I was... probably the most Shimmer had ever heard Pixy say at one time. This had really been bothering her, she belatedly realized. She'd just... been pretending that it didn't, so they wouldn't have to argue, just like Shimmer had been doing all along too.

That they had so much more in common than Shimmer had thought they had after all, and it had Shimmer's head swimming a little. How much more about her feelings was there that Pixy had never told her about? "I... That..." But Shimmer deflated, feeling lost. "Yeah... I... guess that would be okay..." She told Pixy, unwilling to argue with her anymore. It hurt too much.

"Really?" Pixy asked, sounding so relieved. "You mean it?" She asked, sounding more insecure about herself than Shimmer had ever heard her.

Shimmer gave her a shy smile. "Yeah... I... just, thanks for listening to me, at least." She told her.

"I always listen to you." Pixy told her adoringly, moving in to kiss her.

Shimmer melted like she always did when Pixy kissed her this way.

...Only, as Pixy's lips left hers, she suddenly realized something. She had no idea what Devin looked like . _..Well, that was something obvious I should have thought of_ , she grumbled to herself internally, wondering what she was going to do now?

* * *

That night, Shimmer sat up in bed, looking out at the starry night sky through the window of their room. Pixy, Mixy, and Glimmer were still in a pile on the bed, sleeping, cuddled up together like always when they slept, only... she wasn't with them like she always was anymore, and... in more ways than one...

When she'd told Pixy and the others that she didn't know what Devin looked like, they'd all reluctantly agreed to let all three boy humans go, using their third eyes to make them forget that they'd been caught by hunters, and hoping for the best. Shimmer and Glimmer had gone back to do the same for Macy and the woman Shimmer had left her with, while Pixy and Mixy had put the boy humans back in the building where they'd found them.

She'd been so relieved, and so grateful that they'd _done_ that for her when she'd asked them too. After that and especially after everything Pixy had _told_ her, she'd... really thought she could do what Pixy wanted and stay. That... she could just let everything go back to how it had been, and that she could live with that. For Pixy's sake... and for Glimmer and Mixy's too... She didn't know, maybe she could have even gone through with that, but... it hadn't worked out that way, had it?

Whimsy and Mimsy had said _no_ , you see. They hadn't wanted to, she'd seen how much it had hurt Whimsy to tell her so, but momma needed more hunters, and she wouldn't change her mind. Whimsy had asked her, and momma had told her that Shimmer just needed to toughen up. That there was going to be a battle soon, and that she needed all of her daughters to be strong.

Shimmer didn't want that. Any of it. She didn't want to battle humans for Earth. And, mostly, she didn't ever want to go hunting again. Because they'd had to, after letting those three human boys go. They'd had to go hunting again.

They'd ended up bringing back seven humans today. They hadn't been as easy prey as the first three, either. They were part of a _street gang_. Shimmer didn't really know what that meant exactly though, but it _had_ been in one of the lessons. Whimsy and Mimsy and their assistants did all sorts of research on humans, and taught what they learned to everyone else. All they'd been taught about street gangs though was that they traveled in packs, were usually mostly made of boy humans, could be feisty, and that other humans shunned them, so they made good prey. They'd... been a little more than just feisty though. It'd been partly their own fault too, of course. The surprise pouncing they'd planned hadn't turned out how they'd planned. The worse thing though, was that the shunned human boys had been so quick to attack them back when one of them had been put to sleep with Pixy's sleep gun, that they hadn't quite known what to do about it at first. The human boys had seen their third eyes and fought back viciously. They'd had guns and knives. Shimmer and her twin had both had to help to bring the prey down. When she'd seen those humans attacking Pixy and Mixy like that, especially when one of them had stabbed Pixy with that knife, something had broken loose inside of her. Inside of all of them... They'd been lost to their emotions. Shimmer had never... felt that way before. Like she wanted to kill things... and she _had_ killed. She'd killed the human boy who'd hurt Pixy. She and Glimmer had eaten him raw, and... it'd felt good, felt so _right_ to her... in the moment, anyway.

Pixy and Mixy had eaten one too. There'd been seven left, so those were the ones they took back home with them. Only four of them had still been alive, so the three dead ones hadn't been quite as fresh, but they'd still be tasty enough to be yummy for a few days after they died. More, if momma made pies from them. Or, you know... Whimsy's friend, Lucky, had started making hamburgers and stuff like that... they were starting to get popular... Shimmer had tried them, and they'd... been good...

Pixy had looked so proud of her, too... She'd been so happy. The sex between them before bed had been... really good too... Shimmer blushed a little, smiling at remembering that part, at least. But... the rest? She... didn't ever, _ever_ want to feel that way again. She didn't want to... She sighed. She actually didn't feel all that bad about the human boys they'd hunted today. They were mean, and even other humans shunned them (obviously, for good reasons). They wouldn't just be hunting shunned mean boys though. Or, even if she convinced Pixy to do that, the other hunting packs wouldn't. For sure not when momma launched the takeover. And, well, maybe even the sunned mean human boys weren't as bad as she was thinking? She and her sisters had been trying to eat them at the time, so... there was that... And, even if they really _were_ as bad as that, there'd be humans like Macy and Devin, and Devin's friends, who just liked to jump and play in old buildings who'd get eaten too, when momma attacked. Shimmer liked jumping and playing too... She liked _Macy_.

And, she had to figure, more humans were like Macy than like the shunned humans they'd hunted later. Otherwise, human cities wouldn't be as peaceful and fun as they always seemed to her when she snuck out to go exploring, pretending to be one of them.

There had to be a better way. She... just had to find it, that was all. She wasn't so sure anymore if Pixy would go with her, even if she did find that other way though... the idea of leaving Pixy, leaving Glimmer and Mixy, it hurt so, so much to think about, but... she couldn't think of any other way right now. She _couldn't_ stay.

She just... couldn't...

Besides, Pixy had already told her, plain and simple, that she didn't _want_ to leave home, so... how could she ask her to take a risk like that, if she really was happy here? She couldn't. She loved Pixy too much for that. She'd... just have to leave. Maybe find Macy and live with her? If Macy wanted her to, anyway. She didn't know, but... once she was gone, Pixy... would find someone else to love, to be with. She'd... be replaced. And, she tried to tell herself that was good, because she wanted Pixy to be happy. It didn't feel that way, of course, because she was the one who was going to be replaced, but... if she really _did_ love Pixy as much as she thought she did, then she _had_ to do it. Nothing else made sense to her, as much as she wished that it did...

So, resigned, she got up and started to pack up some of her things. When she was done, she sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Glimmer, feeling that pull to always be with her that she'd felt for her entire life. Even more than leaving Pixy, leaving her twin... that would be the hardest thing of all, she realized.

Still... maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have to?

Leaning over, she gently shook Glimmer awake. It didn't take much with their twin bond. It was always harder to stay awake when Glimmer was sleeping, and always harder to wake up when Glimmer was still sleeping, and she knew it worked the same way for Glimmer too.

Shimmer groaned in protest. "Sleeping now." She protested, burrowing back into Mixy.

Shimmer sighed and leaned in to lick that spot behind her twin's ear. Glimmer made a _Meep_ sound and startled awake, blinking up at her in confusion. Shimmer couldn't help but giggle softly, just a little bit. She looked so adorable.

"Shimmer?" Glimmer asked. "Why'd you do that to me? It's the middle of the night." She protested groggily.

Shimmer reached out and cupped her twin's cheek, looking her in the eyes. Their eyes met, and Glimmer stilled. "I... I have to go, Glimmer. I can't stay here anymore." She admitted to her.

"Why not?" Glimmer asked, looking like she was trying to get her brain to work completely again. She wasn't good at waking up, neither of them were. She couldn't help the small smile at that. "Wait..." Glimmer shook her head and got up to sitting with her. "Go back. What... What are you saying, sister sister?" She asked softly.

Shimmer shook her head. "I thought I could stay, but... I just can't anymore. I can't do what we did yesterday again. I... I don't... I don't ever want to feel that way again. I don't... I need to go. I need to find a better way than this. I can't... I can't do what momma says anymore. I just can't." She told her softly. "...Come with me?" She asked hopefully.

"I..." Glimmer shook her head. "No, no, we can't leave." She pleaded, sounding like she was starting to panic a little. "What about Mixy? What about Pixy? Can you... You can't really... You wouldn't really leave her, would you?" She asked, her voice sounding small and lost.

"I..." Shimmer closed her eyes, feeling guilty. "I don't want to, but... She won't come with me. She said that she doesn't want to leave, and I know Mixy doesn't want to either. I love her, and Mixy too... You know I do, but... but please come with me anyway?" She pleaded. She knew she wasn't being fair, but... She wanted Glimmer to come with her so much. Everything would be so much better if they stayed together. She... wasn't even sure how she'd function without Glimmer with her, and the reality of that was only just now fully hitting her. Glimmer... just had to come with her. She _had_ to.

"I um..." Glimmer reached out to touch Shimmer's face, looking more scared and hurt and confused than she'd ever been before. Her fault. That look on her twin's face right now was _her fault_... "Please..." Glimmer pleaded. "Please don't... please, just stay, okay? Just stay, and we'll... we'll talk to Whimsy again, or, you can talk to Pixy some more." She took Shimmer's hands in hers. "Maybe... Maybe she'll go with us after all? Or, I um... well... I don't know, just stay? Please Shimmer..."

Shimmer swallowed. "...I can't stay..." She told her, feeling ashamed and resigned.

Hurt—hurt and betrayal on Glimmer's face. "Please..." She pleaded, tears falling.

Shimmer was crying too, by this point. Why did this have to hurt so much? She shook her head _no_ though. "You can still come with me?" She offered up her last hope, pleading with her eyes and her heart for Glimmer to say _yes_.

"I..." Ashamed and hurting, Glimmer looked away, down to Mixy. "I can't leave her, Shimmer." She told her, and Shimmer knew, just by how Glimmer said it, that it wasn't something she could change her mind about.

Shimmer sighed, and gave her a sad smile. "I get that." She told her, looking forlornly at Pixy.

"I... I don't think so though." Glimmer told her. "If you did, then... then you wouldn't leave Pixy either. Not... Not even for me."

"I... I guess... yeah, okay. You're probably right..." Shimmer had to admit. Glimmer was obviously right, after all. She was leaving... Leaving both of them, and Mixy too... She felt so guilty in that moment... but the fact that her guilt wasn't enough to make her change her mind told her everything she needed to know, really. "I'm sorry, Glimmer. I... I still love you though. Remember that, okay? I'll... I'll always always love you so much, sister sister." She told her, leaning in to kiss her, even though tears were falling again as she did.

They fell into an embrace then, making out for a long, long time (it's a different culture people, _obviously_ ), until, finally... Shimmer pulled away and turned to go.

"I love you too..." Glimmer said in a small, hurt voice.

Shimmer didn't have the courage to look back and see the look on her twin's face. She just left.

* * *

 **Next Episode: How Shimmer Met Wendy!**

Heavy emotion! Who knew people eaters from another dimension had that sort of character depth? What's that? Not you? *sigh* You should really learn to be less judgy. I mean, just because a girl wants to bake you into a pie and eat you, it doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings too, am I right? XD But, you agree with me now, right? See, there, I've just made the world that must less judgmental—VICTORY! (or something vaguely similar to VICTORY! maybe?) I don't know, maybe I'm just making stuff up in my head again and you were all wonderfully enlightened sorts of people to begin with and you didn't need me declaring VICTORY! after all? If so, I APOLOGIZE! Moving on!

Next time, Shimmer's story continues as she ventures out into Jump City, on her own for the first time, and meets a girl name Wendy, who has a brother named Marvin, who has a boyfriend named Davy. And, don't worry, there will be even more heavy emotion and people eating antics for you to laugh at and enjoy—aren't you excited? =)


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